tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71735679096247743562024-03-08T02:11:50.906-07:00Moms In Need of MercyFind hope and practical help as we journey toward becoming the mothers God intends us to be. As God's mercy and grace helps me figure out the "kinks" of life with little ones and a husband to love and a home to care for and a community to serve, I'll share them with you in the hope that you, too, will find the mercy and grace you need in your life.Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.comBlogger509125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-77533152002535752032012-12-29T15:41:00.002-07:002012-12-31T13:21:58.221-07:00Letting Go of StuffAs we prepared to move, my husband and I were rather ruthless when it came to getting rid of stuff. A friend, who is a mom to eight, once shared that when they moved, she threw away seven garbage bags full of stuff. I've always kept that in the back of my mind and aimed to do the same. We not only pitched seven huge trash bags (the big, black kind you use for raking leaves), we exceeded it. I think we ended up with at least nine big black bags, plus lots of smaller ones.<br />
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What were in those bags? Lots of odds and ends. Lotion bottles less than half full, partially burned candles and ones I didn't like the scent of, broken toys, toys that we no longer needed (and no one else would want), lots of papers, magazines, mismatched linens, dusty decorations, clothes not suitable for donating (or not worth going to the trouble of donating), books (being a book lover, this was hard for me, but at some point, some of it--in the words of Charlotte Mason--is just twaddle and can go), and on and on. <br />
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I realized that I didn't want the clutter that was at home in my home to go with us to our new home. We wanted a clean, fresh slate, surrounded only by the things we love the most. (I've blogged about <a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2010/03/messy-monday-women-who-love-too-much.html">paring down </a>to what you love the most <a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2010/03/messy-monday-women-who-love-too-much.html">here</a>). <br />
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Now that we are moved in and busy unpacking, the culling continues. Call this the second round of cuts. We're still finding things that we don't want or need. We'd rather have the space and the uncluttered look. Today, we worked on going through toys again. Some will be donated, others discarded.<br />
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Here's an organizing tip that's guiding me right now:<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/wildlife_encounters/8024166802/sizes/z/in/photostream/"> Photo Credit</a></div>
Pretend your home has a doorman out front, guarding who (in this case <i>what) </i>is allowed to enter. <i>You</i> are that doorman.<br />
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You've got to decide, before something ever enters your house, if it's worth it to you. It will take up valuable space and require effort on your part to find a spot for it, use or read it, maintain it, etc. So do you really want to let it get passed the door?<br />
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Here's an example:<br />
Your friend asks you if you want a stash of her cooking magazines. Do you really want them to come into your home? Do you have time to go through them? Do you have a spot to put them? Are you really going to use them?<br />
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Be ruthless when it comes to acquiring and then letting go of stuff!<br />
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Another couple of tips that are helping me immensely come from<a href="http://raisingolives.com/"> Raising Olives</a>. Kimberly wrote that when her children are given toys, they assume that the giver did not intend for them to keep them forever and pass them onto their children. Rather, the gift was meant to be used and enjoyed for a season. When it has lost its charm or usefulness for that child or children, it can happily be passed onto some other child who will, in turn, love and appreciate it. (I can't find the exact post, but here is another <a href="http://raisingolives.com/2009/03/inspiration-to-declutterde-junk/">good one</a>).<br />
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In another post about <a href="http://raisingolives.com/2012/03/keeping-up-keepsakes-moms/">keeping up with keepsakes</a>, Kimberly offers great advice concerning those special things that have been passed down or kept from your own childhood: Use them, and, in her words, "as things wear out we throw them away, happy that our children were able to enjoy something that we loved when we were young."<br />
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That even goes for fragile items. Kimberly writes, "I figure that something that belonged to my great grandmother, but is
stored in a box in the attic throughout my kid’s childhood will have
little meaning to my children. The things that we’ve chosen to keep,
we’ve also chosen to display and enjoy. (Yes, with 10 children sometimes
things get broken, but my children have many happy memories of playing
with and listening to the music box that played with and listened to at
my great-grandmother’s home when I was a girl.)"<br />
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So, in my zest to pare down, I kept that advice in my head as I went through toys and stuffed animals today. The little yellow bunny I apparently had as a child? It didn't make the cut. I don't remember it; it means nothing to me, and my kids have other stuffed animals they like more that are filling our bin for stuffed animals. The bear the OB/GYN gave one of our children at birth? It didn't make the cut either. They've never played with it, it isn't as cute as others we have, and is it going to be like my yellow bunny when they're grown? They'll take it out of a box, look at it, wonder why Mom kept it for them, and wonder if they should get rid of it, or keep it "just because." We're sparing them that guilt by making the decision now. (A word of caution--we are letting them make decisions about stuff we know is important to them. I know this bear is not one of those things, so I am making the decision).<br />
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As the new year approaches and many of us make resolutions to become more organized, I encourage you to go through your stuff as if you're moving, and let it go!<br />
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A final thought...isn't it interesting that when we, as believers in Christ, die and go to heaven, we don't take anything with us. What is truly important is already there. We don't need to say, "Hey, can I just grab this one thing real quick to take with me?" We won't miss it. So why is it so hard to let go now?<br />
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Look toward heaven, our true home. Keep in this life the things you love the very most. Let go of the rest. You'll experience less stress, more peace, and time to enjoy your husband and children to the full.<br />
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Sharing With:<br /><a href="http://www.thebettermom.com/">The Better Mom</a><br />
<br />Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-12383250107166156132012-10-28T21:22:00.001-06:002012-10-30T22:20:05.717-06:00Messy Monday: Routine Maintenance or Lack ThereofIf you've been reading my blog for awhile, you may remember that about a year ago, I mentioned that our local school district wanted to buy our home (and others on our street) to expand the high school we live next to. Well, that time has finally come, and we have slightly over two weeks to pack up and move out. (I have seen so many answers to really specific prayers through this time that I feel peaceful. The testimony of this time is a great subject for another post). <br />
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<i>(not my desk!</i> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/therealhershey/6700748913/sizes/z/in/photostream/">Photo Credit</a>) </div>
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One of the biggest things I've realized is--<b>why did I not carve out time along the way for routine maintenance of certain tasks? </b>Instead, I let them go, choosing to spend my time with the more urgent instead of what appeared optional. And now, that is biting me in the behind.<br />
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Today, I spent an hour finally sorting my desk. I put things away that have been waiting to return to their proper home for...(<i>I'm embarrassed to say</i>) months. The whole process didn't take as long as I thought it would, making me wonder why I avoided it for so long.<br />
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Lesson: <b>in the new house, take 15-20 minutes a week (perhaps Sunday afternoon?) to order my desk.</b><br />
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My other big project today: sorting through magazines that have accumulated, waiting to be flipped through.<br />
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First, I don't receive many magazines to begin with because I can't keep up, but I like <i>Better Homes & Gardens</i>, and <i>Taste of Home.</i> I also have some <i>Family Circle</i> and <i>Everyday Food</i> issues I've wanted to thumb through. But, as most moms know, when you're busy with kids and dinner and dishes, taking time in the evening to flip through a magazine is a luxury that never presents itself. The magazine doesn't scream, "Pay attention to me!"; the baby does.<br />
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So I quickly went through a stack, ripping out pages of recipes to try and decorating ideas to file. <i>Now to finish doing that before it remains undone and catches up with me...</i><br />
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Lesson: <b>If you're busy, limit (or eliminate) your magazines. <i> </i>Carve out time once a week (or month) to look through the latest issue. File what you want to keep. Throw the rest away, or give the whole thing away to a hospital, library, etc.</b><br />
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<b>Overall lesson: no task becomes unbearable if we carve out time regularly and routinely (such as the same time every week or month) to just get it done. </b><br />
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What is your worst one that you consistently put off, and how can you make a plan to tackle it this week? The ones I've dreaded the most have taken less than an hour (I thought they would take hours!)<b><br /></b><br />
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Sharing With:<br />
<a href="http://wearethatfamily.com/">We are That Family (Works for Me Wednesday)</a><b></b><br />
<a href="http://womenlivingwell.org/">Women Living Well</a><b></b><br />
<a href="http://www.raisinghomemakers.com/">Raising Homemakers</a><br />
<a href="http://deeprootsathome.com/">Deep Roots at Home</a><b><br /></b><br />
<a href="http://www.themodestmomblog.com/">Modest Mom</a>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-81198111624737436382012-10-09T21:25:00.001-06:002012-10-10T07:21:40.000-06:00The Bulls-Eye Day<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/46183897@N00/3206582544/sizes/m/in/photostream/">Photo Credit</a></div>
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<a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-broken-day.html">Some homeschool days</a> can be rough. But then there's the ones that make us say, "Ah-ha! This is why we do this!" </div>
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I am happy to report we had one of those bulls-eye days a few weeks ago, and we've had some pretty good days since. Each morning after breakfast and chores, we read a chapter of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0802851207/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0802851207&linkCode=as2&tag=mominneeofmer-20">Leading Little Ones to God: A Child's Book of Bible Teachings,</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=mominneeofmer-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0802851207" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> followed by a chapter of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0962764345/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0962764345&linkCode=as2&tag=mominneeofmer-20">Missionary Stories with the Millers. </a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=mominneeofmer-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0962764345" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /><br />
On this particular day, the reading discussed how the Holy Spirit helps us bravely tell others about Christ. The missionary story featured a brave missionary in Egypt who risked his life to share the Gospel. </div>
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This happened just a few days after our ambassador was killed in Libya and unrest spread throughout the Middle East (not that it's stopped...).</div>
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The kids and I had a great discussion about Christianity and current events. We talked about how the difference between Islam and Christianity and how Muslims in the Middle-East persecute Christians, to the point of death. The boys wondered if they were in Egypt and were asked by a militant Muslim if they believed in Christ, if they should say no, and tell a lie that they believe in "Ohama" (a cross they accidentally coined between Obama and Mohammed, <i>ha ha ha</i>) to save their life.That led into another hugely important talk about persevering in faith in Christ, even if it means our lives on this earth, because we know this is simply a shadow of what is to come. </div>
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We read and talked about what Jesus said: <br />
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<span class="text Matt-10-28" id="en-NASB-23446"><span class="woj">"Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.</span></span> <span class="text Matt-10-29" id="en-NASB-23447"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And <i>yet</i> not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.</span></span> <span class="text Matt-10-30" id="en-NASB-23448"><span class="woj">But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.</span></span> <span class="text Matt-10-31" id="en-NASB-23449"><span class="woj">So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.</span></span> <br />
<span class="text Matt-10-32" id="en-NASB-23450"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>“Therefore everyone who confesses Me before men, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven.</span></span> <span class="text Matt-10-33" id="en-NASB-23451"><span class="woj">But whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven.<sup>"</sup></span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-10-33" id="en-NASB-23451"><span class="woj"><sup>--Matthew 10:28-33</sup></span></span></blockquote>
<span class="text Matt-10-33" id="en-NASB-23451"><span class="woj"><sup><br /></sup></span></span></div>
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As we were discussing, I felt so thankful for the time to be able to sit outside with the world map and the Bible and our books, and share life-altering truths with my children. Every day is such an impressionable, formative time in their lives. As a friend of mine said when I interviewed her about why she homeschooled (back in my reporter days), she looked at her daughter learning to read in school and thought, "<i>I</i> want to be the one to do that. <i>I </i>want to be the one to teach her to read." So she took her out of 1st grade and homeschooled her--and then their seven other children--ever since.</div>
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Our children's futures are so important. I'm blessed to be able to have the time through homeschooling to lay a solid biblical (and academic) foundation to prepare them for a successful, influential life, where they can engage with current events from a Christian worldview. And that is one of the biggest reasons why we homeschool. <br />
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Sharing With:<br />
<a href="http://heavenlyhomemakers.com/gratituesday-family-on-a-mission">Gratituesday</a> @ Heavenly Homemakers<br />
<a href="http://womenlivingwell.org/">Women Living Well</a><br />
<a href="http://wearethatfamily.com/">Works for Me Wednesday</a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<a href="http://www.cornerstoneconfessions.com/">Titus 2 Tuesdays</a><br />
<a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-bulls-eye-day.html">Raising Arrows </a><br />
<a href="http://www.deeprootsathome.com/">Deep Roots at Home </a><br />
<a href="http://www.raisinghomemakers.com/">Raising Homemakers </a></div>
Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-2245406967264266832012-09-25T19:54:00.003-06:002012-10-10T09:20:13.658-06:00The Broken Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/28481088@N00/207746362/sizes/m/in/photostream/">Photo Credit</a></div>
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I last <a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2012/09/public-school-homeschool-and.html">blogged about homeschooling</a>, which is a lifestyle my husband and I are committed to. Some days are the picture of perfect, happy family life and learning--the cozy kind one might imagine when they picture how homeschool goes in some people's homes (particularly those who blog about it). <br />
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But some days are not beautiful at all. Some days we're just stumbling through, grateful for grace and mercy, that the day will end and there will be a new (hopefully better) one tomorrow.<br />
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A few weeks ago, my husband was out of town for the week. The. entire. week. I was here with four small children. Three energetic young boys, 7, 5, 3. A teething (four molars) toddler that cried and clung to my leg most days. Most fun I've had in a long time.<br />
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Here's part of a raw journal entry (names have been removed):<br />
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"[Child] is going through an awful attitude phase, snapping at me over just about everything... <br />
[Child] was rudely complaining about how the letters looked in his Italic handwriting book. I asked him to make just one letter <i>a </i>to try it the italic way, and he just snapped. I walked away teary-eyed...<br />
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Here's the list of things the boys broke or otherwise damaged today--<br />
1) Broke the orchid pot. [Child] climbed on the counter [rule violation] to get the bungee cords they've been hooking to their belt loops to go <i>bungee-jumping </i>off the railing outside. They already tore their pants once, so that's off-limits, yet they did it again, and I took them away and put them up high.<br />
2) [Child] threw something at [other child] and hit him in the head hard.<br />
3) [Child] threw something at the lightbulb in his bedroom during <i>quiet time</i> and broke it.<br />
4) Apparently, [child] threw something at my Ansel Adams picture from Justin [my husband] and it broke the glass.<br />
5) [Child] took everything out of the alcove upstairs to see what it looked like empty [we have a storage area going up our stairs]. I couldn't even get out of the hallway of our room to the stairs. He put some stuff back and was supposed to be putting more stuff back, but was actually taking it out again. A <i>big</i> tub of baby clothes fell and the clothes tumbled out, all over the stairs below.<br />
6) [Child] punched [child] in the eye, which gave him a blood blister, then proceeded to scratch him several times. This made him look like he ran into a barbed wire fence (as someone commented later...<i>at church</i>).<br />
7) Not to mention all the food crumbs, water spills, other fights during the day<br />
8) [Child] woke [grumpy, teething baby] from morning nap so she only slept a half hour. Then she cried and clung to my leg all morning.<br />
What a day. Taking a shower and going to bed."<br />
---<br />
So this was a bad day. I wondered why I choose to keep my kids home with me day after day after day. I was looking up the number for the school district to inquire into where they had enrollments for kindergarten and second grade. Yet, I knew this lifestyle--even on its worst days--was something we were committed to. So I didn't make the call.<br />
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We're a family. We're learning to live together and love each other, through thick and thin. The bad days test our resolve, and dare I say, our <i>love </i>for one another. On the bad days, we go to bed, grateful the day is over, and pray for a more hopeful day to come.<br />
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And then we receive the answer to our prayers. A good day comes. We learn side by side and have great discussions about things that matter, and we're so thankful we're doing this, that our children are home with us for these talks, for these moments. <br />
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If you had a bad day, a better one's coming. It's like the waves on the sea. Bad days, good days, they all roll together to form our story, our homeschooling experience. I'm grateful for what the bad days show us and they ways they help us grow; I'm more thankful, though, for the good days! <br />
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Sharing with:<br />
<a href="http://www.womenlivingwell.org/">Women Living Well</a><br />
<a href="http://www.raisinghomemakers.com/">Raising Homemakers</a><br />
<a href="http://thebettermom.com/">The Better Mom</a><br />
<a href="http://www.heavenlyhomemakers.com/">Heavenly Homemakers</a><br />
<br />
Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-30575166909393240192012-09-10T21:39:00.001-06:002012-09-11T20:30:26.285-06:00Public School, Homeschool, and Socialization<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal">My 98-year old great-aunt eyed my children a few weeks ago and asked what school they attend. When I told her we homeschool, she said adamantly, “You shouldn’t do that. Kids need to be around other kids.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So as children pack up their backpacks and lunchboxes and head off to school for the next 170 days, no one ever asks, “Your kids are in public school. Aren’t you concerned about socialization?”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Yet, I believe, there is reason to be concerned.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In response to a<a href="https://www.beloit.edu/mindset/2016/"> study</a> about the college class of 2016, community college freshmen talked to our local NBC station about their social skills. Startingly, one student admitted she’d rather text than talk to someone in person, and another girl said that in a group of new people, they all just pull out their phones and start texting friends they know because they don’t know how to handle the social awkwardness of the situation.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That is what I call not being socialized.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And yet, they’ve been in the public school system for 12 years.</div><div class="MsoNormal">So they’re supposed to be “socialized,” right?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">When it comes to socialization--the very argument that people use as a catch-phrase against homeschooling—it seems as though graduates of the public school system are not all that properly socialized.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">How do we define socialization? As a homeschool parent, I think of it as being able to relate to not only their peers, but people of all age groups (and not through texting, but face-to-face communication). Merriam Webster defines socialization as <b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></div><blockquote class="tr_bq"><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1 to make </span><a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/social"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">social</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">; <i>especially</i> <b>:</b> to fit or train for a social environment </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2 <i>a</i> <b>:</b> to constitute on a </span><a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/socialistic"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">socialistic</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> basis <<i>socialize</i> industry> <i>b</i> <b>:</b> to adapt to social needs or uses </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">3<b>:</b> to organize group participation in <<i>socialize</i> a recitation> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> to participate actively in a social group </span><span class="ssens"></span></div></blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="ssens">Let’s look again at what that college freshman said. <i>In a social situation with new people, they all just pull out their phones, because it’s less awkward that way. </i>That is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not </i>participating actively in a social group. By definition, they are not properly socialized.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="ssens">Contrast homeschoolers. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="ssens">The socialization argument always makes me laugh, because—while it may be well-meaning— it is so ignorant. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One would have to lock a child in a dark room all day, every day to keep him from having social interactions with others. Kids are around other kids (and other adults), at church activities, at playgrounds, through sports, homeschool groups, and more (not to mention in our home, they each have three siblings to socialize with).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="ssens">Not only are they learning how to relate to kids of all ages (without a cell phone, I might add), because they accompany me on errands and to various civic functions, they also learn how to socialize with people of all ages. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="ssens">Meanwhile, public school students are learning how to fit into a group, or how to <i>not fit in</i>. Some parents cite this as a necessary skill for life. But is it really? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="ssens">When has a co-worker or a friend cattily made fun of your clothing choices, hairstyle, makeup, teeth? Picked on you mercilessly? Or when have you done these things to someone else? It just doesn’t happen as we grow up and learn how to properly socialize in the real world. Yet it happens daily in schools, to the point that children have commited suicide over it. Is this really the kind of socialization we want for our kids?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="ssens">I remember when I was in fifth grade (in public school). A girl sat outside, against the brick wall of the school, crying during every recess, because the other kids were so mean to her. They picked on her because her teeth were crooked; they picked on her because she was a bit overweight compared to some classmates (but probably of normal weight for an 11 year old girl); they picked on her for her hair and for her name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="ssens">Feeling badly for her, I used to sit by her and try to make her feel better. She started to hate the other kids, because “they were so mean,” she cried. I still remember this, years later. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="ssens">Was this a necessary part of “socialization?” Does this experience mirror the real-world of adult life? Did it do any good for her? Absolutely not. I bet she may still have self-esteem issues to this day, due to the damage caused by these peers. I’m sure it also distracted her from learning.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="ssens">Yet, if she would have been home, no one would have been making fun of her. She would be learning in a safe environment and growing up with a healthy sense of self-esteem. She would have been practicing normal communication skills with people of all ages, which would not have included belittling and heavy texting.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="ssens">So when it comes to socialization, do my children really need to be in classrooms filled with their peers, as my great aunt and so many others think? Or is home where it's really at?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="ssens"><br />
</span></div> More links on homeschoolers and socialization:<br />
<ul><li><a href="http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/Issues/S/Socialization.asp">http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/Issues/S/Socialization.asp </a></li>
</ul>Sharing With:<br />
<a href="http://womenlivingwell.org/">Women Living Well</a><br />
<a href="http://wearethatfamily.com/">We are That Family</a><br />
<a href="http://www.raisinghomemakers.com/">Raising Homemakers</a><br />
<ul></ul><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-85597243203452201432012-08-28T20:42:00.000-06:002012-08-28T20:42:00.801-06:00Disconnected, yet Connected to the Ones Who Matter Most<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-sgwXeyjWiQEKZqtgm5FV1GNio45Z-hsIDKQLclkNM3TlBX9zOoHiyqS8OwSVHucAbLh5R2Ogf63uFbYs6lsHUWxWT5P5eITUIY0-PMBM__VoGCSkXdIyHJ2hQb5Em-i28zRCO8zsLl4/s1600/Cheryl_Lighthouse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-sgwXeyjWiQEKZqtgm5FV1GNio45Z-hsIDKQLclkNM3TlBX9zOoHiyqS8OwSVHucAbLh5R2Ogf63uFbYs6lsHUWxWT5P5eITUIY0-PMBM__VoGCSkXdIyHJ2hQb5Em-i28zRCO8zsLl4/s640/Cheryl_Lighthouse.jpg" width="425" /></a></div>I've obviously been on a bit of an Internet fast, some of it self-imposed and some of it through circumstances. We took a two-week trip to visit my family and camped along the way. While I brought my lap-top with me, most places didn't have wireless, and when we did have it, I just realized I would rather make the most of my time with my family.<br />
<br />
Some things I noticed while being disconnected from the world wide web:<br />
<ul><li><b>Social media creates clutter</b>. It is amazing how quickly my inbox fills with junk! As we talk about clearing the clutter from our homes, social media creates a huge amount of clutter that I don't think we're aware of on a daily basis. But when you step away from it for nearly 20 days, and come back to hundreds of messages--mostly status updates and notifications from Facebook (and I can't imagine if I was on Twitter)--you realize how massively it all adds up. All of this requires an investment of daily maintenance to keep it from piling up. Is it really worth it? Do I really need to know that an acquaintance is drinking lemonade down by the river on a 100-degree day? (not a real update). </li>
<li>Those moments when we just pop on the computer <i>real quick</i>--what is the motivation behind that? Are we a little bit bored? Are we looking for a little spark to liven things up in a monotonous day? <i><b>What would we do in that moment if we didn't have the Internet to turn to?</b> </i>Would that be a better use of our time? Would our children appreciate a moment with Mom? (Yes).</li>
<li>Slowing down, and taking those moments to fully engage with my kids, brought us all closer in a way. Getting away from the busy daily routine gave me some time to appreciate and enjoy my children more. I wasn't nagging them,<i> ahem, </i>reminding them, to clean up their breakfast plates and take them to the dishwasher, do their chores, pick up their clothes... <i>We just had fun together.</i><b><i> And while vacation is downtime, in the even more downtime moments, I wasn't turning to the computer, I was turning to them. </i></b>(By the way, I notice some of the problem behaviors we've been dealing with are vastly improved. I think in large part, it's due to the extra attention they received). </li>
<li>After the first few days of breaking that magnetic draw to the computer, I find I really didn't miss it. When I could get on the Internet, I didn't really want to anymore. I had witnessed all of the positive effects of not being plugged in.</li>
</ul>So while I was disconnected from friends' status-updates, blog posts, online news and more, I was connected to the ones who matter most: my family members. Now that we're home, I'm trying to keep in the forefront of my mind: <b>disconnect to connect. </b>I'm grateful for the time away to realize this lesson.<br />
<br />
Sharing with:<br />
<a href="http://www.womenlivingwell.org/">Women Living Well</a><br />
<a href="http://wearethatfamily.com/">We are that Family</a><br />
<a href="http://www.heavenlyhomemakers.com/">Heavenly Homemakers </a><br />
<a href="http://www.raisinghomemakers.com/">Raising Homemakers</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-89236412601511953562012-07-19T22:19:00.001-06:002012-07-19T22:20:49.723-06:00Making A House a HomeThis post so encouraged me, I had to share it with you. It is a Facebook devotion from Nancy Campbell of <a href="http://www.facebook.com/AboveRubiesUS/posts/507702522590262">Above Rubies.</a> You can like the Above Rubies FB page to get mini-motivational messages each morning.<br />
(I am sharing it in its entirety). <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"> ---</div>--Dear lovely wives and mothers, Thank you for your lovely comments regarding yesterday’s post, I LOVE HOME. Would you mind if I took the next few days to comment on some of the comments? I think it will be encouraging for all. <br />
<br />
One precious mother writes, “I’m struggling with this as my home doesn't<span class="text_exposed_show"> feel like home. I’m so grateful that God has given this place but it needs so much work doing to it and money spent that we don't have.” <br />
<br />
Dear mother, and so many other mothers in similar circumstances, can I encourage you to not get bogged down with all the problems and what needs fixing and repairing, and instead enjoy what you do have? You are so blessed to have a roof over your head, a place of shelter for you and your children, and a place to raise them for the glory of God. You don’t have to have everything perfect to do the great job of raising godly and effective children for the kingdom of God. You just have to have the right attitude.<br />
<br />
It all comes back to our attitude. It’s certainly not hard to get depressed when things are not as they should be. I know. But, it is amazing what you can do even in the most primitive and imperfect situations. I could even complain myself. My fridge is falling to pieces and the drawers fall out every time I open the fridge. The stove is ready for the dump! But, hallelujah, I can still cook, and I can still put some things in the fridge! So I keep praising the Lord until we can one day afford new appliances.<br />
<br />
I think of my daughter, Serene. Currently, her husband is fulfilling contracts in different states in the country. Serene and the children go to be with him as they are able. His last contract was in Mississippi and he and his brother rented a tiny home for them to sleep when not working—no homely things for a woman! But, Serene couldn’t be parted and she and the eight children spent a few months with him in this little home. The children had to keep quiet all day while the men slept as they worked night shift. She couldn’t let them outside because it was next to a quarry with sheer cliffs a few feet from the house! And she was at the end of her pregnancy! <br />
<br />
We arrived to bring her and the children home so she could have her new baby in Tennessee. Instead, she had the baby on the day we arrived in Mississippi. That night Colin and I slept on their blow-up mattress and it was so uncomfortable we couldn’t sleep all night! Serene slept on it every night in her last weeks of pregnancy.<br />
<br />
I asked her, “How on earth did you do it?” With a big smile, she said, “God gave me grace. I loved our time in that place.” You see, it’s not the circumstances, but our attitude!<br />
<br />
I think of my daughter, Evangeline. They live in their tiny home with their 10 children. They are building on bedrooms, but they are still not completed. The children have never had beds and have slept on the floor all their lives! But, no one complains. They all love their life and you couldn’t find happier children. The boys all want to be tough and train for the Delta Force anyway! <br />
<br />
How does Evangeline homeschool and run a home in such tiny circumstances? It’s her attitude! Ask her how she is doing today. She’ll reply, “I’m great. In fact, I’m God’s pet! God is so good and I have a wonderful life.” Evangeline also loves to say, “I’m caring for children, not stuff!”<br />
<br />
Please, dear mothers, get your eyes off your circumstances and put your eyes upon the Lord. Thank the Lord for what you do have. Rejoice in what He has given you. Make the most of what He has given you and make it the most beautiful place in the world even if everything is half-finished and falling down around you. <br />
<br />
One of the challenges of homemaking is to make something that maybe ugly into something that is beautiful. Isn’t that exciting? As another mother commented, “I used to live in a basement apartment where pipes were coming out of the ceiling, but it was our home at the time and I loved being there with my growing family.” If you have pipes coming out of the roof, decorate the pipes and make them an amazing feature! Who wants to have a boring house anyway? Make every negative into a creative and beautiful thing. <br />
<br />
It’s the atmosphere of your home that counts. You can have joy, fun, laughter, and most of all, the presence of the Lord in a tiny unfinished home. You can have coldness and complaining and discontented children in a large and beautiful home. <br />
<br />
It’s not the building, it’s the atmosphere. Have you got it?<br />
</span><span class="text_exposed_show">---</span><br />
<br />
<span class="text_exposed_show"></span><br />
Me again. Doesn't that just jazz you in regard to your attitude toward your home? What can we do today to make it more special, to spread more love, more joy? And as I prepare for a new day, I'm also thinking about what I can do to help my husband to have a good start to his day: grinding coffee and setting the coffee timer, making granola (his favorite breakfast over Greek yogurt) so he has something to eat if he has to leave early.<br />
<br />
Here's to a great day ahead! <br />
<span class="text_exposed_show"></span>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-15422004092489331982012-07-15T22:54:00.003-06:002012-07-17T22:26:24.051-06:00Own Less, Laugh More?<i>Hope everyone is having a great summer! I am trying to be present less on the computer these days so that I can be more fully present with my kids during the day (and be more focused at home). That said, I will commit to at least one post a week, written when they're in bed (whether that be early in the morning or late in the evening). So here's a thought I've been mulling over lately...</i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">--------<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia1e6KQKj2oobQAKu90k1zL-sTz7JZnINUVxrMInfnGjCRaIbCmfQ7MrUYX6n45MU2oilLCYaPUgkXP9d0JV-EMRPdUfj8226-PIePIP_qHtGxLlXC0DBeaMACBjUB0L2NcxBuPluV8vg/s1600/smile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia1e6KQKj2oobQAKu90k1zL-sTz7JZnINUVxrMInfnGjCRaIbCmfQ7MrUYX6n45MU2oilLCYaPUgkXP9d0JV-EMRPdUfj8226-PIePIP_qHtGxLlXC0DBeaMACBjUB0L2NcxBuPluV8vg/s320/smile.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/hulagway/5116382090/sizes/m/in/photostream/">Photo Credit </a><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(not my neighbors, just a Flickr picture I found)</span><br />
<br />
</div>A Mexican family moved in next door recently. From all appearances, they don't seem to have much in the way of material possessions. The kids' favorite toys seem to be their bikes, and they ride them gleefully for hours in the afternoon and in the evening. Their dad works construction and worked nearly non-stop to build a deck this weekend. And their mom--I haven't seen her much, but the aroma wafting toward our house from her cooking smells delicious and makes me feel like an imaginary cook-off on who can make the best smelling food for their families is on! (Kidding).<br />
<br />
A few days ago, as I was working busily inside on catching up on my to-do list, my son came in and said, "Mom, the mom next door is pretty <i>laughy </i>[he meant <i>giggly</i>]. I've heard her laugh 10 times already today," (and it was barely noon when he told me this).<br />
<br />
He went back outside to play, and I stayed inside to mop the floor or wipe out the fridge or whatever it was that I was busy doing. That day, I hadn't laughed at all. Even worse, I couldn't think of anything to laugh at. My sense of humor was hidden under my work load. <br />
<br />
With four kids under seven, it is so easy to be buried with stuff to do. Despite my best attempts at scheduling, I am always behind. The work always seems to pile up. It's like the saying--"Cleaning house while children are small is like shoveling snow while it's still snowing." I don't expect a spotless house--sure, that would be great--but I am aiming for a manageable one. And I feel like a woman trying to climb a snowy hill, where you make some progress and then slide back down. I can't seem to get on top of it.<br />
<br />
So I got to thinking:<br />
<i>What is the difference between me and the mom next door?</i><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><b>Could it be that owning less makes it easier to laugh more? </b>There's less to do, less to manage, less stuff to care for. In that simplicity, perhaps one is freer to slow down and enjoy life more, laugh more<i>.</i><br />
<br />
My son's comment was a wake-up call to me to slow down a little, take some of the stress off and laugh a little more. But where do you start to find funny stuff to laugh at?<br />
<ul><li>Pray about it and ask for a spirit of laughter. (After doing this, the next day, my youngest son pushed his face against our glass door and made the silliest faces. We all laughed hysterically.)</li>
<li> Capitalize on silly moments. Savor them. And laugh!</li>
<li>Sometimes, I think you may have to force a fake giggle, if it's not coming naturally at first. Practice makes perfect, and the spontaneous laughs will soon follow. </li>
<li>Find clean jokes and tell them. Laughter is contagious (remember getting the giggles in class or at church?), and if someone starts laughing, you'll soon be laughing, too.</li>
<li>Here's a<a href="http://stress.about.com/od/positiveattitude/a/having_fun.htm%20%20"> link </a>to another article on the topic, and you could always do an Internet search for more tips.</li>
</ul>In my quest to laugh more, I'm adding one more thing to my to-do list: go through the house and declutter.<br />
I'm aiming to own less so I can laugh more.<br />
<br />
Sharing With:<br />
<a href="http://thebettermom.com/">The Better Mom</a><br />
<a href="http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/07/we-are-women-of-a-different-status-wlww-link-up-party/">Women Living Well</a><br />
<a href="http://www.raisinghomemakers.com/">Raising Homemakers </a>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-37334799744042141532012-06-12T22:07:00.000-06:002012-06-12T22:07:09.261-06:00What Do We Want Them to Remember?A few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine who lived across the street growing up and is now a mother of four (soon-to-be five) suffered a stroke. People all over the world have been praying for her, and those prayers are powerfully working! She was moved out of ICU, into rehab, and is now home, where she is working to regain full mobility. Please keep her (Amanda) and her young family in your prayers.<br />
<br />
Her stroke happened at night, while she and husband were talking before bed.<br />
<br />
I wondered if something like that should happen to me, where there was no guarantee I would ever be the same again, what would I want my children and my husband to remember of me? How would I have spent the last day as me, <i>as I am now</i>? <br />
<br />
Would I want the kids to remember that, while they were outside playing, Mom was in the house, doing chores and (<i>gasp</i>) spending time on the computer? That perhaps many of my interactions with them involved scolding and impatience?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqNVXK1S3eyFlXpyZ9Xj6Cy6T5gTBr52q8e9j4ZTOTxkZ5xZC5mkz_IOkW5LqmE7TOH-ZPhTR0PQwYrRGADQ0a9Edh47Rxbc639yqx5gxvsexDfY06bDOb4CBddB9S-NtPqOvXUBQFhUQ/s1600/bulls+eye.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqNVXK1S3eyFlXpyZ9Xj6Cy6T5gTBr52q8e9j4ZTOTxkZ5xZC5mkz_IOkW5LqmE7TOH-ZPhTR0PQwYrRGADQ0a9Edh47Rxbc639yqx5gxvsexDfY06bDOb4CBddB9S-NtPqOvXUBQFhUQ/s400/bulls+eye.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/netsnake/4115041696/sizes/m/in/photostream/"> Photo Credit</a></span></div>Or would I want them to remember that, even though dishes and laundry had to be washed, dried, and put away, Mom kept a playful, light-hearted spirit? That, whenever possible and practical, they were involved in the work and made to feel special and valuable for being such great helpers? And that we had plenty of fun times together, too?<br />
<br />
Sure, work has to be done to keep our families functioning smoothly. But I want to be sure I'm taking time to hit the bull's eye of their heart with a special connection each day. <b>That's what I would want them to remember if tomorrow I should not be quite the same as today. May I commit to live tomorrow as I would want to have lived today.</b><br />
<br />
Sharing with:<br />
<a href="http://www.womenlivingwell.org/">Women Living Well</a><br />
<a href="http://www.raisinghomemakers.com/">Raising Homemakers</a>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-53200420288894308812012-06-06T21:55:00.002-06:002012-06-06T22:01:33.716-06:00From The Looney Comes The Deep<i>It's been quiet here on the blog for a bit; quiet on the computer, but full of life at home, as I think it should be for this season of raising littles. But more on that in a future post! </i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">***</div>Monday, after dropping off our mini-van at the body shop for some repair work due to a parking lot dent that no one claimed responsibility for, we fit four car seats in a tan courtesy-rental Ford Taurus (which one son calls the "Ford Tortoise," and another nicknamed the "Tan-tan-tangerina") and stopped quickly at the grocery store on the way home. As any mom knows, a "quick" trip with kids, just to get a few things for dinner, is really never quick. (One of my friends has a seven-minute guideline that I think is great: if you're taking your crew in a store, she aims to be in and out in seven minutes).<br />
<br />
One of the first displays was the fireworks--which aren't really fireworks in our county, but rather, popping things that release tons of tiny bits of paper. Tried it once. Never again. Yet, my sons yearned for them throughout the store. It went something like this,<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">"Mom, please? I'll use my own money. I'll pay you back at home."<br />
"No." <br />
"Please, Mom?"<br />
"No."<br />
"Mom, I promise I'll do all my chores for a whole week. Could I get them, then?"<br />
"No."<br />
"Mom, I promise I'll pick up all the paper that comes out. Can I please get them?"<br />
"No, put them back."<br />
"Do you think Dad would get them for me?"<br />
"No."</blockquote>Finally, the "fire"-works were put back. Except one son opened a package and tried to stuff two poppers down his pants. He was caught (by his brother, who told me), corrected, and apologized to an assistant store manager.<br />
<br />
As I was fielding fireworks questions, one son said, "Mom, I have to go poo-". (I am trying to train them to simply announce that they need to use the bathroom--not announce what they need to do in it!). Off to the family restroom we went, where I waited outside the door with the baby asleep in her carseat in the cart, and where one son kept running over to drool at the fireworks display.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">"Are you done yet?"<br />
"Nope." (Repeat several times).<br />
"Mom, I'm done!"</blockquote> Helped him, washed hands, and off we went...or so I thought.<br />
<br />
Another son exclaimed, "Mom, I have to go poo- too!" Repeat same scenario.<br />
<br />
Made it out of the store without much further fanfare.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXBgQdA-xby46vz9Tb3scu6Vylkd_y-mBDdac2YFrPjcFCXZdainkS2jKYIEKmM6EXFGkN596WEwPV3hNtG6suFRHqixtX4xD7kakVDaluHDqJFQlafVKNbNvaznRbk4f9vSG4NkRPjTE/s1600/166135-10081-witch-hazel_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXBgQdA-xby46vz9Tb3scu6Vylkd_y-mBDdac2YFrPjcFCXZdainkS2jKYIEKmM6EXFGkN596WEwPV3hNtG6suFRHqixtX4xD7kakVDaluHDqJFQlafVKNbNvaznRbk4f9vSG4NkRPjTE/s1600/166135-10081-witch-hazel_large.jpg" /></a></div><br />
That evening, after the kids were in bed and my husband was home, I headed to another store. In the check-out lane, a woman in her sixties, I'd say, wearing a long, gray wool coat (even though it was in the 90s outside) and best fitting the description of the witch in <i>Looney Tunes </i>but minus the green face and pointy nose, came right up to me, got a foot from my face, pointed her finger at me and said,<br />
"If you're related to Fred and Jerry, you tell them..."<br />
"Mam," I interrupted, "I have no idea who you're talking about. I don't know those people."<br />
Unfazed, she continued in a worked-up voice,<br />
"You tell them they're <i>exiled!</i> Exiled! You all need to get the [expletive] out of town--every last one of you. I don't want anything to do with anyone of you." (and on and on she went, while I politely reasserted she had the wrong person and then began to tune her out).<br />
<br />
As she decided maybe I didn't know Fred or Jerry after all and started to walk back to her check-out lane, she turned, and very loudly for all the other customers to hear, shouted, "Well, your NOSE JOB looks real good, by the way."<br />
<br />
I just started laughing and said, "I've never had plastic surgery in my life. This is the same nose I was born with, thanks!" <br />
<br />
What an event... The cashier next to my lane was quite upset about the ordeal and wanted to reassure me that Albertson's protects its customers. She walked me out to my vehicle. I called the manager to talk to him the next day about it, because if a customer is that unstable, who knows what she might do to someone else?<br />
<br />
At home, after unloading groceries, I pondered through what all had happened. It was somewhat unsettling. And who were Fred and Jerry, and why was she so upset at them? Was she schizophrenic, and they were imaginary? Was she under the influence of something? Were they real people who had hurt her terribly?<br />
I don't know.<br />
<br />
But I did know that, however uncomfortable <i>I</i> felt, she went home and probably felt worse. It seems like she battles some real problems. Big problems. I wondered why her path crossed mine and why she unloaded on me like that.<br />
<br />
Then it hit me--<br />
<br />
Could it be I was supposed to pray for her? Could it be I was the only one in this crazy circle of Fred and Jerry (and whoever else was <i>exiled</i>?) that would actually care about her spiritual condition and pray for her?<br />
<br />
So often, whether it's training our children and correcting them as they do wrong, or meeting messed-up people, rather than feeling wronged by them, what if we took them to the throne of grace, instead? It's there we all find mercy and receive grace to help in our time of need.<br />
<br />
Sharing with:<br />
<a href="http://raisinghomemakers.com/2012/homemaking-link-up-79/">Raising Homemakers</a><br />
<a href="http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/06/keeping-your-husband-the-man-of-your-dreams-wlww-link-up-party/">Women Living Well </a>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-78592371115458168732012-05-22T21:59:00.000-06:002012-05-22T21:59:08.078-06:00Mom Connection WinnerThanks, everyone, for the kind comments on the Mom Connection post. Random.org picked #4, Theresa, as the winner for the giveaway copy. Thanks for entering!<br />
<br />
If you are interested in ordering a copy, you can get one here:<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=mominneeofmer-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=0800721152&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe> (or check if you can put in a purchase-order request at your local library!).<br />
<br />Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-43046481999088794132012-05-22T10:52:00.001-06:002012-05-22T21:47:13.690-06:00Religion (Faith) IS For Children: A Response to an Athiest Who Doesn't Want Her Child Invited to Church<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>I realize that I am preaching to the choir here, for my regular readers. This post is my response to a post I read called “Stop Inviting My Kid to Church: Religion
is Not for Children.” I hope that sharing my thoughts will help us become more confident in shining as a light in an increasingly relativistic culture.</i></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tanaka_juuyoh/2588963836/sizes/m/in/photostream/">Photo Credit</a></div>
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The vibrant hues of sunsets and sunrises, the intricate
beauty of flowers like irises, lilies and orchids, the melody of birds chirping, the
complex structure of a cell and the total failure of brilliant scientists to
create “even the most basic chemicals used as building blocks for the larger
chemicals of living cells” all attest that nothing is here by accident, but
rather by the work of a brilliant and benevolent Creator. <a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7173567909624774356#_ftn1" name="_ftnref1" style="mso-footnote-id: ftn1;" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">[1]</span></span></span></a></div>
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As I sat outside, reading with my children, and marveling at
the sheer glory of the early summer day, it all evidenced to me, as philosopher
Blaise Pascal has written, that one has only to look outside in nature to
believe there must be a Creator. Considering
the wonder of all living things and how everything fits together so perfectly, it
seems absolutely absurd to believe—as many do—that this is all the result of
freak of nature, a big bang. </div>
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Even my seven-year old son sees holes in evolutionary logic.
“What caused a big bang?”, and “How do people get their ideas to make and build
stuff? And how are there ants and bumblebees and hornets and flies?” </div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/zonie/518807170/">Photo Credit </a></span></div>
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This conversation commenced after I told him about an
article I read this weekend, called “<a href="http://www.blogher.com/cross-post-respecting-others-beliefs-life-atheist-family">Stop Inviting My Kid to Church: Religion is Not for Children</a>.” In it, the author—Ms Joy FG, an atheist—expresses her
angst for people who invite her children to church. She believes that children are
easily impressionable and will believe whatever they are taught, so she aims to
stay neutral (or so she says) on the “big beliefs” and not steer her children
toward any belief, but rather let them arrive at their own beliefs. </div>
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She writes: “There are a lot of things I believe in. Love.
Family. Honesty. Gravity. Kindness. Nature. Science.” </div>
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But where do virtues like love, honesty, and kindness
originate? Where does one’s conscience come from? The big bang?</div>
<br />
She goes on,<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
“I understand why these children feel it is imperative to invite Miss N to
church. It is a fun place where they sing songs, eat a snack and talk about the
underlying fear of what happens after you die. These children love Miss N and
even though they can't quite articulate it in this way, they think we're
failing Miss N and her brother by not taking them to church.<br />
This part will be touchy for people who do not believe the same as we do and
I respect that; I'll raise my kids and you can raise yours. <b>I do not
think religion is for children.</b> I think that they should be exposed to
the beliefs of all people, and while I will tell my children "this is what
Mommy and Daddy believe," I do not expect her to believe the same thing…</blockquote>
Ms JoyFG is sadly mistaken, in my opinion.<br />
<br />
“Religion” (although I would
prefer to use the term <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">faith, </i>as it involves
the mind and the heart, rather than a weekly ritual) is absolutely for
children. Here’s why. <br />
<br />
If we were made, not by a chance explosion (which just happened to be the
most brilliant <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">accident </i>ever) but by
a Creator, then wouldn’t it make sense to introduce the children the Creator
has made to their Creator at an early age? Wouldn’t you want to teach them
about the Creator who created them? Yes, going to church (“religion”) is part
of that process, but there’s so much more. And it doesn’t involve a treat-bag
“bribe,” as Ms Joy FG states. (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">But isn’t
she for acts of kindness?)</i>. <br />
<br />
It’s like this: If I was invited to a famous movie-star’s house for dinner,
one of whom I was, and I could invite a friend, I would want you to go with me.
Simply because you’re my friend. I care about you, and I want you to meet him,
too. I want you in on the experience. <br />
<br />
Ms Joy FG writes that there are many “right ways in the world”, but what
happens if my right way clashes with your right way? Whose is wrong? The flaw
in this logic can be seen in something as simple as streets. In America, the
right way to drive is on the right side of the road. In England, you drive on
the left. If you both try to follow your right way in the other’s country, you
will have a head-on collision). People cannot always be right, at the same
time. Absolutes are necessary (although they’re getting much harder to find in
culture today). <br />
<br />
I am unapologetically a Christian, just as Ms Joy FG is unapologetically an
atheist. My right way is Jesus, and yes, I believe there is enough proof from
both history and written texts to make that an absolute. But I also understand
that many do not believe the same. We can debate ideas, while respecting people
and treating them kindly.<br />
<br />
No matter what we believe, I think we can all agree that Jesus was an actual
historical figure. And he was quoted as saying, “Let the little children come
to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as
these.” (Matthew 19:14). <br />
<br />
That’s what we’re doing when we’re taking our children to church, and
inviting other children to church. We’re extending an invitation for them to
meet the one we believe created all that is seen and unseen. We want to get to
know Him better and follow His ways. And yes, sadly, not all churches or
Christians are great examples. But we don’t throw the baby out with the
bathwater.<br />
<br />
While Ms Joy FG defends her view that religion is off-limits for children
because we shouldn’t talk with them in absolutes, does her <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">absolutes-are-out</i>-<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">of-style</i>
approach to child-rearing extend to other beliefs, such as what foods they eat
at meals and snacks, what kind of shows they watch, what kinds of behaviors her
children engage in? Or are setting, and sticking to, absolutes there as parents
ok?<br />
<br />
Despite her efforts to keep her
daughter from any sort of religion (because she’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">too impressionable</i>), she has indeed done what she set out not to
do: gained a follower in her atheism, which is—ironically--a religion. “I am
very proud of Miss N,” she writes, “that she tells her friends that she has her
own beliefs and their church is not the place for her -- it's like school for
people who believe in their god, it's not really our place.” <br />
<br />
Ms Joy FG says she doesn’t judge us and asks us not to judge her, but yet,
her statement about church—“It is a fun place where they sing songs, eat a
snack and talk about the underlying fear of what happens after you die”—sounds
pretty judgemental to me. <br />
<br />
What if Ms Joy FG is wrong in her assessment that the invitations are
motivated by fear?<br />
<br />
Could it all be motivated by love (and truth)? Everything. The creation we see—nature,
like trees, flowers, stars, and people—our beautiful children, friends, family,
neighbors; and the things we do, like learning about God, and even, inviting
others to church.<br />
<br />
As you go to church, read your Bible, and learn about Jesus, you realize there
is no fear of what happens after death. We’ll all come to know the absolute
truth of what he said in the end. In the meantime, I’m taking my kids to
church, and we might even invite some kids to come with us…<br />
<br />
<div style="mso-element: footnote-list;">
<i>Although I would not normally quote the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), our state's ACLU director was quoted as saying (paraphrased): when we disagree on issues, we don't silent discussion. We have more discussion. That's what I'm aiming to do with this post.</i></div>
<div>
<br />
Sharing With:<br />
<a href="http://womenlivingwell.org/">Women Living Well</a><br />
<a href="http://www.wearethatfamily.com/">We Are That Family </a><br />
<a href="http://raisinghomemakers.com/">Raising Homemakers</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7173567909624774356#_ftnref1" name="_ftn1" style="mso-footnote-id: ftn1;" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">[1]</span></span></span></a>
Institute of Creation Research (http://www.icr.org/creation-cells/)</div>
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</div>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-89379652693054343872012-05-14T22:02:00.000-06:002012-05-16T07:55:23.579-06:00Mom Connection: Creating Vibrant Relationships in the Midst of MotherhoodSome days, I feel like I stepped on an Amtrak Express train going 100 miles per hour. I zoom past stops, that I really should exit for--basic tasks, such as putting away the laundry in baskets all over the house, sorting through out-of-season clothing, and the like; as well as more relational tasks, such as stopping to go outside and watch my sons climb trees, catch butterflies, ride bikes, or play baseball, or make time for a messy indoor activity, such as finger-painting. The hectic pace of my day just never seems like I can jump from the train to enjoy the little side-stops. I fear I'd get run over by the stuff I'm already behind on and desperately trying to catch up with.<br />
<br />
Ever been there?<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGac5rlU0EUena5rCJoSKaNDHHfI7dunClbvE_a7V6YlKLAWmaI3UazJeYqMQuhILtycRm7qY40UCL-els-D0Sxw3kF0JBEg1kFmoYo2PjSqvZ7Qi5cG8wTQw8ecVg5YmLxA3J7BFgNq4/s1600/Mom+connection.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGac5rlU0EUena5rCJoSKaNDHHfI7dunClbvE_a7V6YlKLAWmaI3UazJeYqMQuhILtycRm7qY40UCL-els-D0Sxw3kF0JBEg1kFmoYo2PjSqvZ7Qi5cG8wTQw8ecVg5YmLxA3J7BFgNq4/s320/Mom+connection.jpg" width="202" /></a>Tracey Bianchi, author of the new book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0800721152/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=mominneeofmer-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0800721152">Mom Connection: Creating Vibrant Relationships in the Midst of Motherhood,</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=mominneeofmer-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0800721152" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> has. A busy mom, like us, of three, she understands how packed our days can be, and how detrimental this busyness is to relationships, which she argues are absolutely essential to our well-being. Without them, we wither in isolation, amidst "heaps of poop-stained Onesies," she writes. I received a copy of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0800721152/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=mominneeofmer-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0800721152">Mom Connection: Creating Vibrant Relationships in the Midst of Motherhood</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=mominneeofmer-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0800721152" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> to review from <a href="http://www.mops.org/">MOPS</a> (Mothers of Preschoolers).<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>"I want to be the mom who drenches her children with time rather than
hurry. The mom whose presence signals rest and peace rather than
activity and chores. This is how I want my whole family to be known--a
people of rest and grace." </i><br />
<br />
In <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0800721152/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=mominneeofmer-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0800721152">Mom Connection,</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=mominneeofmer-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0800721152" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />Bianchi shows us how creating the right rhythm to our days affords us the time to create these vital connections with others. Chapters focus on connecting with our spouses, children, extended family, female friends, neighbors and communities--both locally and globally. Good things take time, she reminds us, but the main premise I took away is that we need to <i>slow down </i>to savor (or start) relationships!<br />
<br />
<i>"Task lists do not have to be barriers to relationships; instead they can be the very source of our connections. If I keep telling myself that I'll call a certain friend or forge a special connection once things slow down a bit, the reality is that it may be a very long time before that happens. Perhaps calling that particular person is what it will take to actually slow down!" (page 44). </i><br />
<br />
Bianchi's writing style is highly-energetic and conversational. You'll feel like you're sitting down with an upbeat friend who has a perky perspective, which will leave you feeling inspired. But I had to laugh when she used the word "spaziness" in a sentence, because it's conversational to our culture, but it isn't technically a word. (Because I worked as a writer and an editor, I tend to read books with an eye to details such as that. I found a few small typos, but that's not her fault, and it doesn't detract from the book as a whole).<br />
<br />
However, I should note that reading this book requires some understanding of current pop-culture, otherwise you won't get some of the jokes. For example, Bianchi references Tyra (model Tyra Banks) without explanation (assuming most readers will get it) and "McManus's son." Maybe I've been orbiting in outer space, but I had absolutely no clue what the story of McManus' son was all about (so I googled it, and I'm still lost).<br />
<br />
Technical criticism aside (which, again, is geared more to her editor), this is a fabulous book. It really has me thinking about some simple changes I can make in my life, such as being more willing to ask for help from others (even though it feels scary), buying Popsicles from the store to live an invitational life for friends and neighbors (creating that front porch culture), and mostly, slowing down enough so I can exit gracefully from the train to take time to connect with my kids. Through her book, I think I'm finding a better rhythm to my days. And I'm grateful for it.<br />
<br />
<i>MOPS generously sent me a copy to give away to one of you. If you would like to check it out, please leave a comment on this post, and I will pick a name randomly next Tuesday and post the winner. </i><br />
<br />
Sharing with:<br />
<a href="http://www.thebettermom.com/2012/05/simple-ways-to-build-up-your-spouse/">The Better Mom Mondays</a><br />
<a href="http://heavenlyhomemakers.com/gratituesday-my-gift">Gratituesday @ Heavenly Homemakers</a><br />
<a href="http://raisinghomemakers.com/2012/homemaking-link-up-77/">Raising Homemakers </a><br />
<a href="http://www.womenlivingwell.org/">Women Living Well </a><br />
<br />
<br />Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-61307857626234399912012-05-08T22:06:00.000-06:002012-05-09T07:21:06.409-06:00Sugar Ants & Pesky HabitsSugar ants (technically pavement ants), which are tiny--only about a
millimeter in length--decided to check out what kind of yummy morsels they could
find on my kitchen counters. The only problem--they're not welcome in my house.
Try telling them that.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5s2EIsneNE-2gy3kKPbwm_Ls32wK9WZ4bCW9FLDz7m4LR_iL3smI6AKNIjVHPUL-X37QPch9eYMpb8E9_LlNv8XRXf0650VtB-L9065upWCAKFfIcpJHNbgqNVS5ZCa_fIviPlOqp_eA/s1600/sugarantsA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5s2EIsneNE-2gy3kKPbwm_Ls32wK9WZ4bCW9FLDz7m4LR_iL3smI6AKNIjVHPUL-X37QPch9eYMpb8E9_LlNv8XRXf0650VtB-L9065upWCAKFfIcpJHNbgqNVS5ZCa_fIviPlOqp_eA/s1600/sugarantsA.jpg" /></a>When I discovered them, I sprayed them with 409 and wiped them away. The
rascals (well, new ones) came back. Repeat spray-and-wipe procedure. They
repeated their return. My husband put an ant trap on the counter. That helped a
little, but more showed up later. This was all starting to really gross me out.<br />
<br />
Fast-forward to the next day, lunch-time.<br />
<br />
<b>The scene</b>: making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for my kids.<br />
<b>The drama</b>: I thought the counter was clean enough, so I laid the bread right
on the counter without a cutting board, and began to spread the peanut butter,
then the jelly, on the sandwiches. I put the sandwiches on paper plates and
discovered a few tiny little ants crawling on the sandwiches. Yuck, yuck, yuck.
Checked the knife I used for the peanut butter. They were on it. Checked the
peanut butter. They were in it. More yuck. Threw the peanut butter away.<br />
<br />
Decided to investigate where these ants were coming from, and where else
they were in my kitchen. Looked in our main food cabinet. Yep. They were not
only on the shelves, they were climbing vertically up the sides of the cabinet
to reach other shelves. Yuck, yuck, yuck.<br />
<br />
At this point, I had a royal freak-out. I started throwing things out of the
cabinets, spraying the shelves down, and trying to figure out where the ants
were getting in at. (Sometimes spring cleaning is more out of necessity than
desire).<br />
<br />
I went over to the computer to search for ways to eliminate sugar ants once
and for all. Found some helpful tips, but this information only added to my
anxiety. Here's how you <a href="http://www.getridofthings.com/pests/ants/get-rid-of-sugar-ants.htm">wipe out and control a sugar ant invasion:</a><br />
<ul>
<li>Keep your counter tops immaculate. Spray with bleach water, or vinegar water
after every meal or snack.</li>
<li>Sweep and mop your floor with either bleach or vinegar water after every
meal.</li>
<li>Apparently, the ants will follow pheromone trails, so the bleach or vinegar
will destroy their scent trails.</li>
</ul>
Easy advice for a naturally neat person to follow, but for me?<br />
<br />
What so overwhelmed me about this was:<br />
1) my kitchen counters are nowhere near immaculate. Getting them spotless in
the next fifteen minutes (which was the urgency I felt) caused me to panic,
along with questions of how would I ever keep them spotless if I succeeded in
getting them spotless in the first place?<br />
2) Mop your floor after every meal? I am lucky if I can mop once a week.<br />
<br />
Right then, it felt like all the issues that have been causing some tension for
some time (the kids leaving toys on the floor—which I needed to mop NOW, not
confining their eating only to the table, etc.) exploded. I had a major
rant-and-rave session, which included comments, like, “You all need to help
more with chores”, “There is too much for me to do by myself!”, “We have way
too many toys!”, “I’m sick of always picking up your toys. I’m just going to
start throwing them away” and on and on. At one point, my son said, “<i>Oh no. This
is just getting way too serious. We’re still only kids, Mom.” </i>Hilarious!<br />
<br />
I realized then, as I have realized in times before, than I fall back on a
pattern I was raised with of trying to spur my children to action through using
guilt and shame. It’s terrible, I know, but like any bad habit that rears its
ugly head, it can be hard to break.<br />
<br />
Ironically, while mopping the floor, a Christian radio broadcast was
discussing the topic of anger. How do you handle it when it’s gotten out of
control and is hurting your family? One woman called in to say that she learned
to recognize <a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2010/10/staying-calm.html">her triggers </a>and then take appropriate actions to address her
stress without losing her composure.<br />
<br />
I realized then that the sugar ants were a metaphor for my own spiritual
condition. My struggle is how I react when stressed to the max. But for someone else,
it may be a different problem. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Am I going to keep spraying
and wiping the ants I see on the counter each day, or am I going to take the
necessary (although difficult) steps to defeat the problem for good?</b><br />
<br />
We can keep spraying and keep wiping (dealing
only with the surface problem), but if we don’t target the source, the ants
will keep coming back. Sometimes, we’re forced to deal with our “ants.” The pesticide for eliminating the “ants” we
struggle with is repentance, prayer, and walking in the Spirit.<br />
<br />
<div class="line">
We cannot change any bad habit or sinful pattern of behavior
without first recognizing that it is a problem and then confessing our shortcomings
and need for help to our Maker and Savior. We pray, as King David prayed in Psalm
51:</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="line">
<span class="text">"Have mercy on me, O God,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text">according
to your unfailing love; </span><br />
<span class="text">according to your great compassion </span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text">blot
out my transgressions. </span><br />
<span class="text"><sup><span id="en-NIV-14694">2 </span></sup>Wash away all my
iniquity</span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text">and
cleanse me from my sin.</span></div>
<div class="line">
<span id="en-NIV-14695"><span class="text"><sup>3 </sup>For I
know my transgressions,</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text">and
my sin is always before me. </span><br />
<span class="text"><sup><span id="en-NIV-14696">4 </span></sup>Against you, you only,
have I sinned </span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text">and done what is evil in your sight…</span></div>
<div class="line">
<span class="text"><sup>7 </sup>Cleanse me with hyssop, and I
will be clean;</span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text">wash
me, and I will be whiter than snow…</span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="text"><sup>10 </sup>Create in me a pure heart, O
God,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text">and
renew a steadfast spirit within me.</span><span class="text"><sup><span id="en-NIV-14703"></span></sup></span><span class="text"><sup><span id="en-NIV-14703"></span></sup></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="text"><sup><span id="en-NIV-14703">11 </span></sup>Do not cast me from
your presence </span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<div class="line">
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text">or take your Holy Spirit from me.</span><br />
<span class="text"><sup><span id="en-NIV-14704">12 </span></sup>Restore to me the joy
of your salvation </span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text">and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. </span></div>
<div class="line">
<span class="text"><sup>17 </sup>My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;</span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text">a
broken and contrite heart </span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text">you,
God, will not despise.”</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div class="line">
<span class="text">Once we’ve prayed, we walk in the Spirit. Christ’s
presence with us will give us everything we need to overcome our sinful
temptations and falling back into old patterns of behavior. We need to
turn our minds to Him and ask for His mercy and grace. </span></div>
<div class="line">
<br /></div>
<div class="line">
<span class="text">(By the way, the counters managed to stay pretty
clean for a few days—I wouldn’t say spotless, but close! And the ants are not
coming back to the same places. I’m still struggling with maintaining the high
level of cleanliness required to keep them at bay--it takes a lot of
discipline, which can be difficult, especially with a sick baby who wants to be
held all the time--but I’m growing. I’m growing spiritually, too. I'm <a href="http://heavenlyhomemakers.com/gratituesday-wrapping-it-up">grateful </a>that God cares enough about me that He wants me to grow to become more like Him, and He'll help me do it--and you, too!)</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sharing with:<br />
<a href="http://wearethatfamily.com/2012/05/wfmw-mothers-day-free-printables/">We are That Family (Works for Me Wednesday)</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/05/just-2-wlww-link-up-party/">Women Living Well</a><br />
<a href="http://heavenlyhomemakers.com/gratituesday-wrapping-it-up">Heavenly Homemakers (Gratituedsay) </a><br />
<a href="http://www.thebettermom.com/">The Better Mom </a><br />
<a href="http://www.raisingarrows.net/2012/05/a-little-me-management/">Raising Arrows </a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://raisinghomemakers.com/2012/homemaking-link-up-76/">Raising Homemakers</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-10336817666255481242012-05-01T21:31:00.003-06:002012-05-01T22:22:25.100-06:00The $10 Mother<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD37C94zVzJGpcCGGmQEXerpXJMwbfC0TUqboageV6IqAyiPL0Sqm2lqSnT6jPae8wLjwdMOOXYuL5GBediC1Lz8F0kfYyMe6v9HCsu9kpWg7kKyTGALsx3QmoyPEByU01iszXOmTvRlI/s1600/10+dollar+bill.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD37C94zVzJGpcCGGmQEXerpXJMwbfC0TUqboageV6IqAyiPL0Sqm2lqSnT6jPae8wLjwdMOOXYuL5GBediC1Lz8F0kfYyMe6v9HCsu9kpWg7kKyTGALsx3QmoyPEByU01iszXOmTvRlI/s320/10+dollar+bill.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/rychlepozicky/4845979158/sizes/m/in/photostream/"> Photo credit</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Has anyone
ever given you a tip for being a great mother? Not a verbal, “here’s-how-you-do-it”
tip, but an actual cash tip?</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">In my
<a href="http://aboverubiesbookstore.mybigcommerce.com/100-days-of-blessing/">devotional book for mothers</a>, Nancy Campbell shared an encounter that happened
to her daughter, Evangeline, while out shopping with her five youngest
children. While in Wal-Mart, a woman—a
complete stranger—came up to her and said, “You are an incredible mother!
Here’s some money,” and gave her a ten-dollar bill. Then, awhile later, she approached
again: “I’m not finished. You have to know
you are an incredible mother! Here’s another $10.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">For a few
days, I was pondering what in the world she was doing that was so impressive in
this woman’s eyes. Coincidentally, I
downloaded an audio teaching by Evangeline called “<a href="http://aboverubiesbookstore.mybigcommerce.com/the-adventures-of-motherhood-downloadable-mp3-format/">The Adventures ofMotherhood</a>.” In the message, she recounted the Wal-Mart experience and shared
additional information.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">As she was
walking down the aisles, she was praying in her mind, asking God, “<i>Am I a good
mother, </i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Lord?” </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Right after
that prayer, the woman approached. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> “She didn’t even see me mother! We were just
walking,” she said. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">But she had
to be doing <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">something</i>! Perhaps it was
just her countenance and general demeanor toward her children that so impressed
the woman. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">While no one
gave me a $10 tip during my shopping trip yesterday with my children (although
a very pregnant mother so kindly offered to let us go ahead of her in the check-out
lane—and then insisted we traded places!), I have been contemplating what makes
us the kind of mothers others take note of (and may even tip!). Here are some
thoughts:<br /> </span></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Smile at your children! </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Act like you enjoy them, even if the feelings aren’t
flowing easily at any particular time. Feelings always follow actions. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Speak
kindly. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Handle your children gently. We’ve all seen the mothers who yank their
children away from things. Let’s not be “Yankees.” </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Be proud of your group. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Be proud to be a
mother!</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">As Nancy Campbell writes,</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> “When you go out with your children, lift your head high, put
a smile on your face, and be proud to be a mother. You have the most important
career in the nation. God Himself is your employer and you are determining the
future of this nation.</span></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Be a light
in the midst of a society that does not embrace children. Do not be intimidated.
Show your love for your children as you speak sweetly to them and are patient
with them. If God has blessed you with a number of children, be proud to display
your ‘blessings’ from the Lord.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">You reveal to the world what God is like for He
loves children. Jesus did not reject children. He welcomed the children to come
to Him. (Mark 9:36-37).</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">There is no
more beautiful picture than to see a serene and happy mother with well-trained
children in tow. There can be no argument from those who don’t embrace
children.”</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">A high
calling. I’m working on becoming a more serene and happy as a mother every day,
and certainly, training our children well is a constant work in progress. That’s
why I’m a mom in need of His mercy. I’m so thankful that we can approach the
throne of grace with confidence to find mercy and receive grace to help us
daily in our time of need. There are eternal rewards. And maybe someday, there
will even be a financial reward, like an out-of-the blue tip!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>*links in this post are attribution links, not affiliate links </i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><i>Sharing with:<br /><a href="http://www.womenlivingwell.org/">Women Living Well</a></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.raisinghomemakers.com/"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><i>Raising Homemakers</i></span></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><a href="http://wearethatfamily.com/2012/05/wfmw-closet-organizing-tips/">Works for Me Wednesday</a> @ We are That Family </i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://heavenlyhomemakers.com/gratituesday-may-day-preparations">Gratituesday</a> @ Heavenly Homemakers</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.themodestmomblog.com/2012/04/modest-monday-and-a-link-up-2/">The Modest Mom </a></span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.thebettermom.com/">The Better Mom </a></span></i></div>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-21611084508140984352012-04-24T22:32:00.002-06:002012-04-24T22:36:29.016-06:00Lord, Where are My Keys?<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXM41ZSVSA9wFPgArXIvsfSa_NIwxXyIMkf2LPlJ7TX1YMhJNOPDDcNBC8GuMcQvLh8PDeS32zajXCcC1Uji_YyGIIQqU7VLXPjc4mfhUKJWFOoCRnA0uq2NY_x_6XmkDp87h29EkzTB0/s1600/car+keys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXM41ZSVSA9wFPgArXIvsfSa_NIwxXyIMkf2LPlJ7TX1YMhJNOPDDcNBC8GuMcQvLh8PDeS32zajXCcC1Uji_YyGIIQqU7VLXPjc4mfhUKJWFOoCRnA0uq2NY_x_6XmkDp87h29EkzTB0/s320/car+keys.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59937401@N07/5857485174/sizes/m/in/photostream/"> Photo Credit</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Ten o’clock
Sunday morning, and we were ready to head out the door. We were on schedule to
arrive 15 minutes early to church—unusual for us, on its own, and even more
unusual considering I had singlehandedly gotten four children and myself ready
for church. Not just “average-day” ready but looking nice! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">My husband
was playing guitar on the praise team for the first time at our church, and I
was looking forward to hearing him play. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Let’s go,”
I announced. “Where are the keys? Who
took the keys?” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">No answer. Repeated
a little more loudly and frantically this time, and the next, and the next… Finally,
the culprit confessed (or his brothers confessed for him).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Where did
you go with the keys?” I asked, with increasing inflation in my voice (obviously
not as calmly as I would have liked, if I could do it over).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Outside, in
the garage, and downstairs,” he responded.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Lots of
ground to cover there.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Out I went
to search, while urging the troops to come search with me. I wish I could say I
acted like a loving coach motivating them to action, but it was more like a
stressed-out mom on a rant about why we have rules that kids do not take keys,
why we don’t lose keys, how we won’t be going anywhere until we find the keys,
how we’ll probably be missing church and hearing Dad play guitar, and how we
spent all that time getting ready and it was all a waste, since someone decided
to run off with the keys and lose them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">We looked
through the garage. Under and over things and in the minivan. We searched
outside, around the house, the patio furniture, in the grass, in the window
wells for the basement, and around again (I think I even checked in the
mailbox). We searched downstairs. I searched the main floor and upstairs for
good measure. No luck anywhere. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">We spent the
better part of 45 minutes looking. (The “better part” is an interesting phrase,
since no part of those 45 minutes were in no way “better” than how I could
otherwise be spending them.) I encouraged my son to pray and ask Jesus to help
us find the keys. Crying, he said, “I did pray, but He’s not helping me,
because I can’t…[out-of-control crying] find…the…keeeeyyyyyys [more
out-of-control crying].” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">My son was
crying so hard that he summoned the attention of a neighbor, who came out to
look at why this boy was wailing uncontrollably. Partly it was because he felt
sad for losing the keys, but mainly it was because his sensitive spirit couldn’t
stand that his mom was upset at what he thought was him, but was really the
situation (good luck explaining that to a five-year old). </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Finally, I gave
up and sent everyone to their room. “If we aren’t going to church,” I said, “you
aren’t playing” (in case it was a con to get out of going). </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I went
outside to read my Bible, reflect, and pray.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Here’s what
I was thinking about: </span></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Just because I wasn’t spending those hours in church on Sunday morning didn’t
mean I couldn’t worship God</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">When you don’t
get to use your time the way you thought you were going to use your time, how
do you respond? </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">What was God
trying to show me through this?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">If I was
upset that we were dressed up and looking nice but with nowhere to go (and no
way to get there), is this not pride?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">If I was
upset that I had spent my time getting everyone ready, which seemed to be a
waste of time, was this not a trivial thing to stew about?</span></li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m glad that even in my frustration and
anger, God gave me the grace to hold my tongue. I wanted to go into a tirade
about why they are never, ever to take my keys. The accusation--“because you’re
not responsible”--was wanting to leave my lips. But God’s mercy and grace
helped me to picture what that would do to my child’s spirit. I remember what
it felt like to receive stinging comments as a child. Luckily, I refrained.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The Lord
brought to mind the parable of the woman who searches her house for her lost
silver coin. It’s in Luke chapter 15, along with a parable of the shepherd who
loses one sheep out of a 100 and searches for it, as well as the parable of the
prodigal son. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">My sons came
up from their time-out, and I read them these parables. We discussed how, even
though we had lost our keys, it is more important that our souls are not “lost”,
that we find Jesus, and help others find Him, too, and that even someday, if we
get “lost” from Him, that we—like the prodigal son—find our way back. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Right at
that very moment, my son exclaimed, “Mom! The keys!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">They were
sitting on top of the barbecue grill right next to me. I can’t tell you how
many times I had looked on and around the grill. It was as though the Lord had
blinded my eyes to the keys the whole morning, up until that moment. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Why? I don’t
know. Perhaps there would have been an accident on the way to church. Perhaps
there was a lesson I needed to learn. Perhaps it was a lesson one of my children
needed to learn. Perhaps the story is something someone needs to be encouraged
by. I don’t know.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I just know
it was ok with God that we weren’t in church that Sunday morning, because He
kept us home.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Sharing with:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/04/how-religious-is-your-state-wlww-link-up-party/">Women Living Well </a> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.raisinghomemakers.com/">Raising Homemakers </a></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.heavenlyhomemakers.com/">Heavenly Homemakers</a></span></div>
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<br /></div>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-83802157195509553172012-04-17T22:38:00.001-06:002012-04-17T22:42:22.529-06:00What's On My Floors Could Be the Death of My DaughterMy three sons have learned a new phrase in the past few weeks:<br />
<br />
<b>Choking hazard. </b><br />
<br />
A curious, crawling eight-month old baby loves to find things and put them into her mouth--things that I might miss, that the boys lazily leave lying around. Things like candy wrappers, coins, band-aid peels. Things that could easily cause a baby to choke.<br />
<br />
We've had a few incidents.<br />
<br />
The first involved the peel from the back of a band-aid. I didn't know one of the boys had gotten a band-aid, unwrapped it, and left the wrappers on the floor. Little Lauren was crawling around the kitchen, and suddenly, I heard her gagging. Nothing puts more panic in the heart of a momma than to see her baby's face turning red as she's gagging and struggling to get air.<br />
<br />
I turned her over my leg, thumped on her back several times, and prayed. Fortunately, a few days before, I had asked my husband what you're supposed to do if an infant is choking on something, if turning them over and thumping them on the back doesn't help. He reminded me that you're supposed to look in the mouth and finger sweep the item out if you can see it or feel it.<br />
<br />
That's when I could see the band-aid peel stuck far back on the roof of her mouth, going down her esophagus. I prayed that I could quickly get it out, without pushing it down further. <br />
<br />
Doing this on a frantic baby is about as easy as it would be on a cat. It was sight unseen, but it worked. The wrapper came out.<br />
<br />
It took all day for my nerves to calm down.<br />
<br />
Since then, we've had another scare with another kind of wrapper or piece of construction paper(I can't remember what it was; I only remember the gagging and turning red). Just today, I had to fish a Hershey's kiss foil wrapper out of her mouth.<br />
<br />
While extremely scary, these ordeals have been a great kick in the pants for the boys to <a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2012/01/forming-habits.html">learn better habits. </a>They cannot be so lazy, for lack of a better word, to just peel something and let the wrapper drop and lay. They cannot take <a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2011/12/my-son-swallowed-quarter.html">coins out of their piggy banks</a> and leave them on the floor. Everyone must pay super close attention to what is on the floor and remove anything that could be a choking hazard.<br />
<br />
As for me, I need to diligently sweep the kitchen and vacuum other rooms, watching closely for little items that may not be a big deal normally but are a huge deal with a baby. <br />
<br />
Looking on the bright side, having a baby can be a huge motivator to step up one's home management.Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-22280064742058422342012-04-12T08:43:00.002-06:002012-04-24T22:57:56.274-06:00Home-SCHOOL or HOME-school?Homeschooling is about so much more than the academics. Certainly, there are those, but more broadly, one of the reasons families choose homeschooling over traditional public or private schooling is for the opportunity to be together all day. You really get to know your kids and have plenty of opportunities to teach and train their character.<br />
<br />
At the start of this week, I envisioned such a fabulous Monday. I ordered a new homeschool curriculum book (<a href="http://www.konos.com/www/elementary.html">KONOS Volume 1</a>--character-driven unit studies), and I had spent time Sunday planning out what we'd study and some fun activities to go along with it. The day ahead held so much potential.<br />
<br />
But it totally flopped.<br />
<br />
My kids just like the spring-like weather too much to stay inside. From the time they woke up, they were outside (even in their jammies). Jump on the trampoline; come in and eat breakfast; go back out and ride scooters around the house; come in and get dressed; go back out...<br />
<br />
I decided I could work with this. It's not important where they do their work, as long as it gets done, right? So I brought handwriting and phonics pages out to the trampoline along with a pencil. I told my son he could work on it outside.<br />
<br />
Several minutes later, I checked on him. The pages were blank. "<i>My pencil led broke, Mom, so I couldn't do it."</i><br />
<br />
This was just the tip of the iceberg. When I called this son in for his reading (or even to listen to<i> me</i> reading to him some of the books I had picked out about birds, which is what we were supposed to be studying), he seemed to be deaf. The hysterical thing is this first unit focused on ATTENTIVENESS. They were being attentive alright, but not to their studies--to their scooters, to the trampoline, to the tent Dad had set up in the yard for them to play in, anything but what I wanted them to be attentive to.<br />
<br />
Suffice it to say I felt totally discouraged. We had a big talk when my husband got home, and I shared that homeschooling is not going to work if they won't cooperate with the schooling part. <br />
<br />
Later that night, I flipped through some books, searching for encouragement and advice. In <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/188409824X/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=mominneeofmer-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=188409824X">I Saw the Angel in the Marble,</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=mominneeofmer-20&l=as2&o=1&a=188409824X" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> I found a helpful perspective. You can focus on the SCHOOL part of homeschooling, or you can focus on the HOME part of it. Essentially what the Davis' were saying is--if you believe God has called you to keep your children home as opposed to sending them away to school for the majority of the day, then relationships--learning to live together as a family--becomes a higher priority than academics.<br />
<br />
Monday, the academics didn't happen the way I originally pictured. The joyful, cooperative spirit for studies was absent from one of my sons. But...we managed to accomplish most of it anyway, just far below my ideals for a bright, sunny, warm-fuzzy day of learning together.<br />
<br />
The more important thing, though, is we had a huge talk about character. Even if the day had been worthless on a scholarly scale, a lot of learning happened after all. HOME-school learning, learning for life.<br />
<br />
One other note...<br />
<br />
It was helpful for me to think about Jesus' education (or anyone's education years ago). As the Son of God, being in the exact nature as God, He is the source of all wisdom. Do you think Jesus as a boy grew up going to the Nazareth one-room schoolhouse? Or did He learn everything He needed to know as a man in the context of day-to-day life, living with His family and in His community? (A theological note: He knew everything anyway, of course!) My understanding is that boys in biblical times would receive tutoring in their adolescent years. But their early years? Probably spent with their families, learning to live and work.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I guess the point I'm trying to make is that education has not always looked the way it looks in modern culture. And that's ok.</span><br />
<br />
<i>"Families are returning to that road whose name is Life As It Was Intented To Be."</i><br />
<i>"...your child was born with all the talents, giftings, and callings put into him or her since the foundation of the world. Find out what these are and let your child become truly good at what you find."</i>--Chris and Ellyn Davis, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/188409824X/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=mominneeofmer-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=188409824X">I Saw the Angel in the Marble</a><br />
<br />
Sharing with:<br />
<a href="http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/04/getting-staying-organized-giveaway-wlww-link-up-party/">Women Living Well</a><br />
<a href="http://raisinghomemakers.com/2012/homemaking-link-up-73/">Raising Homemakers' Homemaking link up</a><br />
<a href="http://www.raisingarrows.net/2012/04/the-one-room-schoolhouse-model/">Raising Arrows </a><br />
<br />
<br />
<img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=mominneeofmer-20&l=as2&o=1&a=188409824X" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-70703095096260628492012-04-09T07:34:00.000-06:002012-04-09T07:34:16.745-06:00The Big Meltdown<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">“Cook for two minutes, turn over, and microwave for two minutes more,” read the instructions on the bag of chicken tenders. Easy enough. A multi-tasking mom, I ran to the bathroom while the chicken was warming in the microwave and came back to a kitchen filling with smoke. Looking around, I didn't see anything on fire. Was there an electrical fire behind the wall that I couldn't see? Then I remembered the chicken in the microwave. </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I found charred chicken tenders and a plastic plate with a hole completely melted through. All in two minutes. Impressive, even for our out-dated '90's microwave.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Then it hit me: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">this was the perfect picture of my day</i>. I was just a few minutes away from my own meltdown, but, unlike the microwave, in my attempt to be a better mom, I was fighting hard against it...</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><i>Continue reading at <a href="http://www.thebettermom.com/2012/04/the-big-meltdown-and-better-mom-mondays-link-up/">The Better Mom</a>, where I am guest posting today on "<a href="http://www.thebettermom.com/2012/04/the-big-meltdown-and-better-mom-mondays-link-up/">The Big Meltdown</a>." </i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-20882254240621630182012-04-08T16:21:00.003-06:002012-04-16T21:37:46.788-06:00Growing in Patience<i><b>Update: Jessica, congratulations! You won the drawing for the 100 Days of Blessing devotional book. Please email me your address (cheryl@momsinneedofmercy.com), and I will order that for you.</b></i><br />
<i><b> </b></i><br />
This weekend, we celebrated Easter. The Resurrection offers tremendous joy and hope for believers in Christ, as we know: 1) Christ is who He says He is--the Son of God, 2) what He said is true, and 3) He overcame sin and death and gives us the power to do the same. We know we will live forever with Christ and loved ones in a beautiful place after this life is over. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The Resurrection also provides hope and joy for us as mothers.</b></span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">"Do you need more of God's power in your life? Do you need more of His power to help you mother each day? I have wonderful news for you. As you allow Him, God's power is working in you mightily. Not ordinary power, but the <i>dunamis</i> power of God, the power of God which releases miracles. It is the dunamis power of God which was poured out upon the disciples when they received the Holy Spirit to take the Gospel to the uttermost part of the earth. This is where we get the word dynamite--explosive power!...<br />
<br />
<b>Do you have trouble being patient? Are you plagued with anger?</b> You do not have to be defeated any longer. Jesus died on the cross to give you the victory. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, did not die in vain. He died to not only save you from your sin, but to deliver you from your 'self' nature and to change you into the image of His Son. His <i>dunamis </i>power is working in you mightily to reveal God's nature and character in you and through you--to your husband, your children and to the people you associate with in your life.<br />
<br />
Let Him work in you mightily. Jesus' blood has been shed to give you a new life. <b>You can have patience because Christ lives in you and He is patient! </b>You can have long-suffering, because Christ in you is longsuffering. <b>He does not fly off the handle! He does not scream and shout! He has long patience and forbearance. And His wonderful life is living in you!...</b><br />
<br />
Not only is Christ living His patient and longsuffering nature in you, but He enables you to do it with <b>joy and thankfulness. </b>Christ in you is joy. In the flesh, you live in defeat, but in Christ, you can bear your burdens with joy. You can put up with those who would naturally drive you mad. You can be patient with your children. You can endure as the power of God works in you mightily!"--Nancy Campbell, <a href="http://aboverubiesbookstore.mybigcommerce.com/100-days-of-blessing/">100 Days of Blessing: Devotions for Wives and Mothers</a></blockquote><b>Here are some of my favorite posts that share some practical ideas for growing in patience:</b><br />
(I realize there are several here. I encourage you to read through them this week as you have extra time. I hope they will bless you.) <br />
<ul><li><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2012/02/change-clothes-several-times-day.html">Change "Clothes" Several Times a Day (Getting Out of Bad Moods)</a></li>
<li><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2011/09/schedules-and-sin.html">Schedules and Sin</a> (confronting the misdeeds and sometimes ugly attitudes of our kids)</li>
<li><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2011/09/on-being-pleasant.html">On Being Pleasant</a></li>
<li><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2011/06/noodles-of-wrath.html">The Noodles of Wrath (lessons from mischievious acts)</a></li>
<li><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2011/05/if-momma-aint-happy-aint-nobody-happy.html">If Momma Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy</a> (how to "snap out of it")</li>
<li><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2011/04/fighting-discouragement-cookie-flop.html">Fighting Discouragement</a></li>
<li><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2011/02/motherhood-its-stressful-sometimes.html">Motherhood: It's Stressful Sometimes</a> (but what legacy do we want to leave?)</li>
<li><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2010/11/take-hike.html">Take a Hike</a> (enjoying your family)</li>
<li><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/search/label/Anger%20Management--Cultivating%20a%20Gentle%20Spirit">Staying Calm </a>(practical strategies when you feel like you're going to lose it)</li>
<li><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2010/06/good-bad-ugly.html">The Good, the Bad, the Ugly </a>(and God's grace in motherhood)</li>
<li><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2010/05/grouchy-ladybug.html">The Grouchy Ladybug</a></li>
<li><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2010/04/image-by-john-morgan-these-roses-arent.html">A Day With No Sin </a></li>
<li><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2009/12/conquering-anger-with-kindness-and.html">Conquering Anger with Kindness and Goodness </a></li>
<li><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2009/10/check-it-at-door.html">Leave it Outside</a> </li>
<li><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2010/02/topic-of-me-time.html">The Topic of "Me" Time</a></li>
</ul>Because I have been so blessed by Nancy Campbell's <a href="http://aboverubiesbookstore.mybigcommerce.com/100-days-of-blessing/">devotional book</a>, I would like you to be encouraged by it, too. <b>As an Easter gift, I will order a copy for one of my readers. </b>Please leave a comment on this post if you would like to be entered. The winner will be posted next Monday.<br />
<br />
Sharing with:<br />
<a href="http://raisinghomemakers.com/2012/homemaking-link-up-72/">Raising Homemakers </a><br />
<a href="http://www.womenlivingwell.org/">Women Living Well</a>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-87733042685467171442012-04-03T15:56:00.002-06:002012-04-04T06:59:42.991-06:00Replacing "I Can't" with "I Can"<i>"Mommy, will you build a castle tower with me?"</i> asked my little three-year old buddy.<br />
<br />
"I can't right now," I was about to say, but I stopped myself. Why couldn't I? What was I about to do? Putz around the house and look for stuff to pick up? Load dishes into the dishwasher? Throw laundry in the wash? Important tasks, yes, when it comes to keeping our home running smoothly, but so important that I couldn't sit on the floor and build a castle tower with my son? <br />
<br />
On the heels of my <a href="http://heavenlyglimpses.blogspot.com/2012/03/10-benefits-to-playing-with-our-kids.html">friend's post </a>about <a href="http://heavenlyglimpses.blogspot.com/2012/03/10-benefits-to-playing-with-our-kids.html">playing with our kids</a>, I resolved to say, "I can't" less and "I can" more.<br />
<br />
We sat on the floor with the instruction booklet, and we built the castle out of blocks. It really didn't take that long (maybe 15 minutes), and it was actually quite fun. The laundry didn't mind waiting. My son treasured his little castle that he built with Mom (until baby sister crawled over and knocked it down).<br />
<br />
Yesterday, after the boys woke their baby sister up from her nap too soon, I was rather frustrated. "Will you read me this story, Mommy?" one asked. Feeling a little grouchy, I was about to respond, "I can't right now; let's go downstairs." But I stopped myself and tried the "I can" challenge.<br />
<br />
We all curled up on the bed with pillows piled all around, cuddled up together, laid with heads touching and read <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0744519314/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=mominneeofmer-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0744519314">Can't You Sleep, Little Bear?</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=mominneeofmer-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0744519314" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>I realized then that it will be the "I can" moments that reward us with the sweetest memories of motherhood. </b>We can so easily miss out on them with two seemingly simple words, "I can't." Yet, they'll rob us of the joy we could experience in everyday moments at home if we resolved to say "I can" more often.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">"I <i><b>can </b></i>do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." (Phil. 4:13). </div><br />
Sharing with:<br />
<a href="http://wearethatfamily.com/2012/04/wfmw-choosing-family-friendly-movies/">We are That Family</a><br />
<a href="http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/04/coming-soon-wlww-link-up-party/">Women Living Well</a><br />
<a href="http://raisinghomemakers.com/2012/homemaking-link-up-71/">Raising Homemakers</a>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-30435939552511082682012-03-28T07:28:00.012-06:002012-03-28T13:48:56.996-06:00What if We Refused? (A Guest Post)<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><span style="color: black;">Today I am privileged to introduce my friend, Theresa, to you. She encourages us to build a heavenly vision for our homes and families at her blog, <a href="http://heavenlyglimpses.blogspot.com/">Heavenly Glimpses</a>. </span></i></span><br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-size: x-small;"><i>Theresa's been writing a series on intentional mothering, and I am confident her post today will bless you!</i></span></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">---</span></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgls8hk7Jt8cXq_czWSfQuCJW5u2aCQPovUakiE_bJePpypCzLKJIRu1rcoC8XonbV0UnFvpqz-Ma7g_0MmJpPfQg9dDNZut5QQGhBie59cznvXarL66NEbYZ3Suf6H9u7mKKhwakaIFis/s1600/Robboy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgls8hk7Jt8cXq_czWSfQuCJW5u2aCQPovUakiE_bJePpypCzLKJIRu1rcoC8XonbV0UnFvpqz-Ma7g_0MmJpPfQg9dDNZut5QQGhBie59cznvXarL66NEbYZ3Suf6H9u7mKKhwakaIFis/s400/Robboy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"> "Go hard on me, mom," declares eight-year-old, Robby, as we prepare to play one-on-one soccer in our back yard. I chuckle at his words for I know how much has changed in a few short years.</span></div><div style="margin: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="margin: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Just a few years ago I was holding back, running barely behind him as he kicked and darted toward the ball all the way up the yard to score a goal. On occasion, I enjoyed hassling him, weaseling the ball away just to make him work harder and he'd complain that I<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><i>was not going easy enough on him</i>.</span></div><div style="margin: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="margin: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">In just a few short years, he's grown and changed so much. He's more mature, able to control his emotions, and more athletically coordinated. We communicate, relate and laugh together and it wasn't even that long ago I sat up nights nursing and rocking him back to sleep.</span></div><div style="margin: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="margin: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">One of those mid-nights, within the first week of bringing him home from the hospital, I had nursed him, changed his diaper, and swaddled him snug. When I went to lay him back down, he would not have it. As a new mother, I didn't know what to do for him. Weary and exhausted, I remember my anxiety rising that night. I had abruptly flung his blanket back open and re-swaddled him, then breathed deep and like a tide rushing in, felt wisdom wash over me that would linger throughout my parenting years, not for one but for four children throughout infancy, toddlerhood, and into childhood:</span></div><div style="margin: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="margin: 0in;"><i><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Don't become frustrated, Theresa. This is just a season. You'll never have him this small again. Yes, you will lose sleep. It will be hard. But it will pass. These moments you'll find were gifts. Receive them.</span></i><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span></div><div style="margin: 0in;"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I'm sure I have become frustrated over other issues, regarding children and sleep, over the past eight years, yet I cannot recall another night, hovering over an infant, in frustration over my sense of helplessness. Not one since that vivid internal monologue. And I've had many sleepless nights and those nights did pass. I encounter different frustrations and feelings of helplessness now in a whole new season and the never ending question remains, how do I choose to contend with those?</span></div><div style="margin: 0in;"></div><div style="margin: 0in;"></div><div style="margin: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">And I wonder if what made a difference eight years ago can make a difference today.</span><br />
<br />
</div><div style="margin: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><b>What if we refused? </b>If we took a deep breath and decided we're not going to let weariness, frustration, and feelings of helplessness overtake our peace. We won't allow those emotions, that so easily creep in, to dictate our behavior. I wonder how it would change our parenting, how we see our children.<i> </i></span></div><div style="margin: 0in;"><br />
<i><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Because we'll never have them as small and impressionable as they are now, ever again. Yes, we will lose sleep. It will be hard. But it will pass. What if these moments are gifts, even the hard ones? Will we receive them?</span></i></div><div style="margin: 0in;"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Today he dances with the ball over the winter withered grass, maneuvering fancy feet. He kicks the ball passed me and goes for the goal.</span></div><div style="margin: 0in;"></div><div style="margin: 0in;"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><b>When we choose to see the bigger picture, the greater goal and desired outcome, maybe our frustrations become small.</b> If we intentionally commit to accepting that it will be hard, that cultivating the lives of our children will take labor, sacrifice and perseverance, maybe we will bounce back quicker when we stumble - because we will.</span></div><div style="margin: 0in;"> </div><div style="margin: 0in;"> </div><div style="margin: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">"Good game, mom. That was fun." Robby exclaims. "Thanks for playing with me." And I think I also hear, "Thanks for being patient with me through the years. Thanks for your dedication, perseverance, and for believing in me. Thanks for upholding me with dignity and respect even though I'm smaller than you and dad. Thanks for laughing with me, and for loving me no matter what."</span></div><div style="margin: 0in;"></div><div style="margin: 0in;"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">And I think about the little things that never really mattered. And the things that do.</span></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN-iKL_sxyqYTySZYAC4HbHxJVHEVEDiFMPABR6w5ncKRf886C8HuRMkZGWUCgbob9bHphqIsbTCEdNSeNeEXoBMjQ8av8k-A2oezy18D3I0zDy-MT7Ag0l9YBclLNqCWduu7WAE2VvfY/s1600/Theresa_Miller_image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN-iKL_sxyqYTySZYAC4HbHxJVHEVEDiFMPABR6w5ncKRf886C8HuRMkZGWUCgbob9bHphqIsbTCEdNSeNeEXoBMjQ8av8k-A2oezy18D3I0zDy-MT7Ag0l9YBclLNqCWduu7WAE2VvfY/s1600/Theresa_Miller_image.jpg" /></a><span class="apple-converted-space">Theresa is a wife and mother of four wonderful children. She is a stay-at-home-mom, whose passions are primarily with her family, writing, and in ministries that encourage mothers in this generation. Theresa has been published in MOPS International, MOMSnext e-zine and other on-line publications. Theresa authors <a href="http://www.heavenlyglimpses.blogspot.com/">Heavenly Glimpses</a> blog, where she captures the heart of Christ through glimpses into the life of her children, marriage, and a humbly inspired heart.</span></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Sharing with:<br />
<a href="http://raisinghomemakers.com/2012/homemaking-link-up-70/">Raising Homemakers</a></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><a href="http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/03/dealing-with-bad-attitudes-part-2-wlww-link-up-party/">Women Living Well </a></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><a href="http://wearethatfamily.com/">We are That Family</a></span></div>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-52192967976017095172012-03-27T05:56:00.001-06:002012-03-28T13:55:26.317-06:00The Nurturing Mother<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXC4kQgYqiTdqyTjI7EiELZupuRePOt29vmLBmCM9tJ9LjXkurvjCC-1Dex_NV05mRTVP1y7Bp8v8POHdhIhyphenhyphenL0RgSv8lrTbbUAVBeT5IONFztxugmJfxcw0EPWJ5YAYyKfbu9ia0XZAc/s1600/orchid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXC4kQgYqiTdqyTjI7EiELZupuRePOt29vmLBmCM9tJ9LjXkurvjCC-1Dex_NV05mRTVP1y7Bp8v8POHdhIhyphenhyphenL0RgSv8lrTbbUAVBeT5IONFztxugmJfxcw0EPWJ5YAYyKfbu9ia0XZAc/s400/orchid.jpg" width="325" /> </a></div><div class="MsoNormal">A few months ago, these orchids held so much promise. Two stems burst forth with no less than a dozen buds. We awaited a magnificent display of gorgeous flowers. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Yet something went wrong. Perhaps due to a lack of watering, or lack of fertilization, the buds that held such promise of beauty never bloomed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, they shriveled up and fell off the branches altogether.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As I reflected on what went wrong, I realized: <strong>this is the perfect picture of our children’s souls...</strong></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b>---- </b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b> </b>Keep reading at <a href="http://heavenlyglimpses.blogspot.com/2012/03/nurturing-mother-guest-post-by-cheryl.html">Heavenly Glimpses</a>, where I am <a href="http://heavenlyglimpses.blogspot.com/2012/03/nurturing-mother-guest-post-by-cheryl.html">guest posting today</a> on the life-giving value of choosing to intentionally nurture our children and cause their lives to bloom.<br />
<i>(Simply click on the links, or go <a href="http://heavenlyglimpses.blogspot.com/2012/03/nurturing-mother-guest-post-by-cheryl.html">here</a>).</i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Sharing with </span><a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2012/03/nurturing-mother.html"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Raising Homemakers</span></a><span style="font-size: x-small;"> and </span><a href="http://www.womenlivingwell.org/"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Women Living Well</span></a></div>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-13410677736569448622012-03-26T22:31:00.003-06:002012-03-28T07:44:27.803-06:00Filling in The Gaps: What Really Happens in Other People's HomesI've <a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2010/03/super-parents-are-just-ordinary-people_23.html">written before</a> that it can be so easy to feel like magic and wonder happens nonstop in our friend's houses, or others whom we admire, while life at our own home can be so lackadaisical. We imagine (or hear about) happy picnics, creative crafts, and loving interactions; meanwhile, we're buried in laundry, dishes, and undone chores, while our children squabble with each other, whine, complain, and fail to respond cheerfully, quickly, and obediently at times (many times). Reading whimsical status updates on Facebook or inspiring blog posts only serves to makes us feel more discouraged about real life in our very real home.<br />
<br />
For example, awhile back, I read about a <a href="http://spilledmilkandwetkisses.blogspot.com/2011/09/day-in-jamestownhmmm.html">good friend's homeschool day</a>. Her sons reenacted Jamestown by building forts out of Lincoln Logs (my boys just throw Lincoln Logs every which way and have yet to build any kind of structure). She shared that her sons went outside to "build wattle and daub [mud] walls just as the colonists did for their homes and buildings inside the fort." They "drove stakes (small sticks) into the ground, intertwined vines...in between the stakes and formed mud around the structure to dry and harden."<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGmRUt3Lv_bvsDtzUYzTt1bclJQ4LqBDpHFrPs7Jz9RmnD5xIwqc09p_9xMdZC4gQhm18X8j7cZgmiMkzuzkuJko0EdJlbwBKVEctUKLNA0KExD6Xzgc3sCj-pkZt0lxMev8x1twKZ8j8s/s1600/DSC06138.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGmRUt3Lv_bvsDtzUYzTt1bclJQ4LqBDpHFrPs7Jz9RmnD5xIwqc09p_9xMdZC4gQhm18X8j7cZgmiMkzuzkuJko0EdJlbwBKVEctUKLNA0KExD6Xzgc3sCj-pkZt0lxMev8x1twKZ8j8s/s320/DSC06138.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Doesn't that sound highly creative and tremendously impressive? The sting of comparison began; I wished we could have a day like that, where the boys were that creative with their play and got along well enough and long enough to work together on projects like that.<br />
<br />
And yet...<br />
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My friend was honest enough to "fill in the gaps." With her permission, I'll share what really happened (from <a href="http://spilledmilkandwetkisses.blogspot.com/2011/09/day-in-jamestownhmmm.html">her post</a>):<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">"Today was honestly a very frustrating day...I felt that nothing was getting done to the level that I had expected it to. My plan for sitting and reading turned into a disaster as books were falling off the couch, Hannah was all over, drooling over everything and screeching. Austen kept zoning out, Moriah was being a complete 'Ramona' and Jay was fine.<br />
<br />
When we were outside building our walls, Austen kept asking me over and over if there were ants outside, and if they were going to climb up their wall (to see my son's opinion of ants see this post <a href="http://spilledmilkandwetkisses.blogspot.com/2011/09/nature-walk-takes-deadly-turn.html">nature walk turns deadly</a>.) Then, when the boys went upstairs they kept coming down over and over because "so-and-so was not helping, they weren't sure how to do it....". I had imagined them upstairs for hours playing and creating this fort. Darn you expectations. THEN, our Lincoln Logs kept falling over, Hannah again, crept upstairs and tried to be the jolly green giant and overtake the poor Indians and Colonists. Then, after it was all over, Moriah destroyed the entire fort. The icing on the cake.<br />
<br />
To say that I felt quite defeated today was for sure. It was just a frustrating day. I want every day to move seamless and smooth and that is an unrealistic expectation, I want Moriah to be a "big helper" everyday and that is unrealistic. Finally, tonight, the kids were told to go upstairs to brush teeth.....we hear run, laugh, run, laugh, scream.....run upstairs and Austen caught a corner with his forehead, huge bump, huge gash that by God's grace did not break open and averting a trip to the Urgent Care and huge screams. Ok, breathe, God give me grace right now because more than anything I feel angry for their disobedience. Needless to say, I am thankful they are in bed...<br />
<br />
<b>Anyone else ever have days like mine</b>? More than anything I want to down an iced mocha with whip....more than anything....but since we have no coffee and I am too tired to go out , I"ll settle for crackers and iced water instead. Here's to a new day tomorrow."</blockquote><div style="text-align: center;"> ---</div>What I love about Amanda's post is--<b>it's real.</b> And it made me feel better about my own situation. (Ha ha). I love the crackers and ice water part, too. It's just real life.<br />
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<b>We can live our lives comparing ourselves to a standard that doesn't exist, because we are all imperfect people. </b>Or we can embrace the days that we have been given and live them out fully, to the best of our ability. With heaping spoonfuls of God's grace, we can aim to make magic within our own walls. But when we hit reality, as everyone does (even though you won't hear about it on Facebook), know that you're not the only one. Most people simply fail to fill in the gaps. <br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(P.S. I really recommend Amanda's blog, <a href="http://www.spilledmilkandwetkisses.blogspot.com/">Spilled Milk and Wet Kisses. </a>Especially for homeschool moms, I think it will inspire and encourage you, as it points you closer to the Lord.</span> <span style="font-size: x-small;">Take a look around; you'll be glad you did)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Sharing with:<br />
<a href="http://raisinghomemakers.com/2012/homemaking-link-up-70/">Raising Homemakers</a></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/03/dealing-with-bad-attitudes-part-2-wlww-link-up-party/">Women Living Well</a></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://wearethatfamily.com/">Works for Me Wednesday</a></span>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7173567909624774356.post-52799583211082025942012-03-18T19:47:00.003-06:002012-03-21T07:56:35.427-06:00Should Moms Wear White?Shopping in Target the other day, I had to run back to the fitting rooms to nurse my baby before leaving the store. Of course, as you walk through the clothing department and see all the new spring styles, you find some things that you fall in love with. (Plus, I've just been thinking that I really need to get a cute pair of pants that fits...comfy sweats and yoga pants around the house until I can zip up my pre-4th pregnancy pants only work for so long; still love <a href="http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2011/11/why-im-loving-skirts.html">skirts</a>, too, but<i> </i>I<i> </i>don't wear them everyday).<br />
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One of the always-in-style pieces for spring and summer is a pair of white jeans or capris. They're so versatile. You can wear them with anything. They look crisp. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCN_fHnirvw2gEV_sdW2WfEQakGUZOwpqxcy3UPMfFY8edjPlUfpscCcd4ag7JKpPHX87tte-r_c_PoHOkX_OiJ9XalGBwVMN_YZ_oSMPuOQ3bk_YJg3NG42WFZ-Fq1zCRgH_46egSS_s/s1600/white+jeans.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCN_fHnirvw2gEV_sdW2WfEQakGUZOwpqxcy3UPMfFY8edjPlUfpscCcd4ag7JKpPHX87tte-r_c_PoHOkX_OiJ9XalGBwVMN_YZ_oSMPuOQ3bk_YJg3NG42WFZ-Fq1zCRgH_46egSS_s/s1600/white+jeans.jpg" /></a></div>But do they stay clean? That's the problem when you're a mom.<br />
<br />
I skipped out on the white, and bought myself a pair of these instead:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_qzfyClNjzdEPpy4SlJSNJdI2mwZCmqoKv4WJKR4r5veTXEgz13W2isof5U1mV3l7XumkSfWSb6pBPfQ0wEqrbl1EyaWuq58jp3SQLIlaIUitEZNZE778OesJjKFiDha2NPqEiaS2RmY/s1600/cargos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_qzfyClNjzdEPpy4SlJSNJdI2mwZCmqoKv4WJKR4r5veTXEgz13W2isof5U1mV3l7XumkSfWSb6pBPfQ0wEqrbl1EyaWuq58jp3SQLIlaIUitEZNZE778OesJjKFiDha2NPqEiaS2RmY/s1600/cargos.jpg" /></a></div>The best part is the elastic/drawstring waistband. :) And still more fashionable than sweats...<br />
<br />
Yet, during a recent dinner, they still managed to collect splashes of orange baby food and drips of Italian salad dressing (while eating and holding my baby at the same time). Said splashes of baby food also ruined my brand new white t-shirt (although I put some Dawn on the spots right away and sprayed Oxi-Clean on it bbefore bed, so we'll see when it comes out of the wash...).<br />
I gained new confidence in my decision to forgo the white in this season of raising little ones.<br />
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<b><i>What do you think? Is there a way for moms to safely wear white (and keep it white)?!</i></b><br />
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Sharing with:<br />
<a href="http://www.thebettermom.com/2012/03/and-better-mom-mondays-link-up/">The Better Mom Mondays</a><br />
<a href="http://raisinghomemakers.com/2012/homemaking-link-up-69/">Raising Homemakers </a>Moms In Need Of Mercyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378782100273197226noreply@blogger.com4