Moms In Need of Mercy

Menu Plan: Bountiful Baskets Ideas

2012-02-12T19:03:00.001-07:00

This week in our Bountiful Basket, we received (as you can see) pears, apples, oranges, bananas, a pineapple, two lemons, romaine lettuce, broccoli, eggplant, mushrooms, corn on the cob, two bunches of celery, and asparagus. I also ordered organic nine-grain bread.

In what seems like perfect timing, a friend of mine told me about and let me borrow her Colorado Collage cookbook. It's wonderful! There are so many unique recipes, using ingredients that you'll find from time to time in your Bountiful Basket (like fresh mint) or any grocery store. Here are a few new ideas from the cookbook using the asparagus, eggplant, and limes and mint I still need to use up:

Roasted eggplant soup
Chilled asparagus soup
Chilled minted pea soup (uses limes and mint)

Other recipes to try from this cookbook this week or next:

Spiced Pear muffins
Baked pears
Oatmeal banana waffles

There are over 300 pages in this cookbook. I ordered one used on Amazon and am really excited to receive my own copy!

In other news, yesterday I made egg rolls using the recipe a good friend from church gave me. I used the cabbage I had leftover, along with the some of the 25 pound bag of carrots I bought last time, water chestnuts, green pepper, green onion, and ground beef. I plan to do a tutorial post sometime this week on how to make egg rolls. They were yummy! (Leftover filling made great fried rice tonight).

Last week, I ordered a box of apples. I plan to make applesauce this week, and an apple pie or apple crisp. We juiced a few before our juicer stopped working in the middle of juicing. The juice was delicious! Tasted like cider. (We have/had this juicer: Breville JE98XL Juice Fountain Plus 850-Watt Juicing Machine)

Breakfasts:

Oatmeal, grapefruit
Applesauce bread, yogurt (maybe smoothies)
Scrambled eggs, toast, pineapple
Spiced pear muffins, yogurt, granola
Coco-Wheats (the boys always ask for this on Fridays) with a spoonful of peanut butter swirled in
Banana Oatmeal waffles
Pancakes, freshly squeezed orange juice (or if we can get our juicer working...)

Lunches:

Chicken strips, applesauce, broccoli, carrots, celery and ranch dip
Carrot soup, breadsticks from Master mix
Broccoli-cheese quiche, carrot sticks
Bow-tie pasta carbonara (using bacon and asparagus), salad
Chili, cornbread
Roasted eggplant soup, or one of the others from the list above
Dinner leftovers

Dinners:

Steak (probably pan-seared, since using the broiler smoked up the whole house last time)
sauteed mushrooms, corn on the cob, salad, maybe baked pears for dessert
Coconut shrimp with pineapple dipping sauce, Ginger lime carrots, strawberry cake or cupcakes with buttercream frosting
Sloppy joes, oven fries, orange wedges
Enchiladas, salad, pineapple
Tilapia with asparagus gremolata, tossed salad with lime vinaigrette, homemade applesauce
Italian shell pasta (with sauteed eggplant)
possibly eggplant parmigiana (if I can talk the guys around here into eating it)

I still have lots of limes to use up, so here are some snacks and desserts to try, time permitting:
Lime muffins
Lime mousse
Lime bars

What are some of your favorite ways/recipes to use the produce I have on hand right now (pictured above)?

(sharing with Menu Plan Monday)

Living in Your Anointing

2012-02-06T22:57:00.009-07:00

It's late. I'm tired. I was not even going to blog. If I did, I was going to write a post and call it "I Can't Think Straight." I was going to share with you why I felt like a ping-pong ball all day today.

But I couldn't think of anything encouraging to say, so I wasn't even going to write. I was just going to do a little reading for our Bible study tomorrow morning (I wrote here why I haven't always gone in the past), leave the clean dishes in the sink to dry, forget about the three sprawling laundry baskets full of clothes to put away, forget about the three to four loads that still need to be washed, forget about the messes that abound everywhere I look, forget about the stuff that still needs to be cleared off the table...forget about it until 7AM when I see it again, and go to bed.

But then I did my Bible study, and amazingly, it spoke to everything I'm feeling today. Now I have something encouraging to say, so I'll do my best to say it.

---

Today was just one of those days that I'm sure we all experience more often that not as moms. Days when multiple demands from multiple children are flying at us, leaving us whiplashed. The chaos overwhelms us, and we feel like we just can't think straight.

Yesterday was busy and I didn't take the time to plan for the week ahead that I normally do. That was my first and biggest mistake, truly. With no semblance of a plan, the day was a messy, gooey blob.

If I got a spare second, the phone rang. My kids are going through a phase where they love to answer the phone and hate for the answering machine to get it, because it's just so much fun to say hello to the voice on the other end, and they don't understand it's inconvenient for Mom to talk to the voice on the other end right then. So I'd politely get off the phone, get started with something, then the phone would ring again. Today, some of the calls were actually dealing with big stuff, like a neighbor telling me the latest on the school district's plans to purchase our homes, and some family stuff.

I'd get off the phone, head reeling, look at the wake of things my children had done while on the phone. My head would reel again. The baby would cry (when will those teeth break through finally?), one child would ask me something, another child would simultaneously ask me something, and another child would ask me something before I could answer any of the questions. As I sat down to read with our oldest, the youngest wanted a snack, the baby needed a nap, and on and on. A ping pong ball.

I kept reminding myself that it's not their fault I feel this way. Individually, they are each a pretty sweet child (usually). Collectively, it just gets a little (or a lot) chaotic sometimes.

After all the kids were in bed, I sat down to start on my Bible study, and this is what I read:

"Being directed, comforted, and empowered by His Spirit within us is the only sure way to live with supernatural success when we encounter natural events that seek to derail us. We must be annointed."--Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed: A Study of David

I've been planning to blog on being anointed for motherhood...just haven't had the time or the full inspiration until now. Priscilla Shirer defines anointing as a "divine empowerment or a divine enablement to accomplish God's purposes for your life." Although in the Old Testament days, anointing priests, prophets and kings was usually accompanied with oil, as believers in Christ, we are "anointed with the indwelling [Holy] Spirit's presence from the day of our salvation." (Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed: A Study of David). (Scriptural support: 2 Corinthians 1:21-22).

I love what Priscilla Shirer writes in the study:

"The anointing on [King] David's life was essential to accomplish God's purposes, and we must have it to accomplish His plans for us. Without it, everything we do will only be a shell of activity that will leave us breathless from a series of frustrated efforts, amounting to little. With God's anointing, we can face life's circumstances with courage, joy, and inner peace." (bold mine).

Here are some other fabulous quotes from the study:

"David accomplished supernatural kingdom purposes because God's Spirit equipped him for the tasks...As believers, God calls us to accomplish divine tasks for His glory. We must have the anointing of God's Spirit."
As believers in Christ, "the Spirit lives in us, and we are sealed and anointed by Him to accomplish God's preplanned purposes. So, if you are a believer, you are anointed--right now. Your task is to rely on the power of God who indwells you so you can be empowered to do what you cannot do on your own." (bold mine).
"The anointed life engages daily and normal activities in a supernatural way. When you have patience in your mothering...gentleness in your response, contentment in your circumstances, and empowerment in the face of your challenges, you are experiencing the greatest miracle of all. God's presence appearing in your life."

So even on the days when it seems like nothing great was accomplished as you bounced around from task to task and child to child, remember that if you are daily seeking to model what a relationship with Christ looks like in the real world, you are doing the most important and eternally significant work...even if the laundry, dishes, papers and clutter are waiting for you in the morning.

We are empowered by God to do everything we need to do for our families. We may not live in monasteries. Maybe we live in messes! Faithful service, with a kind heart, of the daily tasks we have before us is what helps us grow in holiness.

Step into the anointing and walk in it!

(Sharing with Finding Heaven, Gratituesday, Graceful)

It Matters to Them

2012-02-04T08:55:00.001-07:00

Ever since he was a toddler, my oldest son loved playing with airplanes. He loves everything about them--flying them, studying each plane, learning about military jets and how they fly. Right now, he really enjoys making paper airplanes out of his Fun with Paper Planes book and flying them. He also loves studying various RC planes, buying them when he has some money, and flying them. Here's his current one:

Many times, he brings me a paper airplane he's just made and says, "Watch this, Mom. It flies really good." Almost always, I'm busy with something else, like washing dishes, and I give him my half-hearted attention, along with a patronizing comment like, "Yeah, that's really good." He walks away, and I return to what I was doing.

But the other day, I decided to give him my full attention (and praise). I stopped what I was doing, watched his paper airplane flight, and found something encouraging (and sincere) to say about it. It really glided through the air quite well for a few seconds. So I said, "Wow, Gann, that was a really good flight! It stayed up for a few seconds and glided really well--probably because you're such a great pilot." Then I gave him a hug. As he walked away, I noticed he had a little shy smile on his face, revealing a full heart. He knew he had received Mom's full attention and wholehearted praise. And it meant everything to him.

See, it may not matter to us. But it matters to them. Because they matter to us, let's make sure that the little things they bring to us throughout the day, desiring to show us--because they crave our attention and praise--matter to us.

If we don't take time for them, they'll end up feeling like the dishes (or whatever it is that occupies our attention at any given time) were always more important to us than them. Sure, there's a place for saying, "Honey, Mommy's got to finish this up, and then I can watch what you want to show me in five minutes." But that shouldn't always be our response, and certainly not, "I'm too busy right now" (end of story).

As Sally Clarkson spoke about at the MomHeart conference and writes about in The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity, children require our time to feel loved. What if the only thing on our to-do list each day was to show the love of Christ to our husband and children? Although we obviously have practical stuff to do, I think that philosophy should undergird all of our choices and actions through each day of our lives.

I encourage us to think of a practical way today that we can show each of our children that they matter to us by giving each of them a few minutes of our time to show an interest in something that matters to them.

"Love is patient." (1 Corinthians 13: 4).

(photo credit)

A Roll of Toilet Paper a Day: How to Make it Last Longer

2012-02-02T21:53:00.001-07:00

photo credit

With little boys who are learning to do things themselves--including taking care of themselves in the bathroom--there are both pros and cons. The upside is there are fewer, "Mommy, I'm done!" calls to respond to. This in itself is a huge milestone in motherhood. I would just get one taken care of, and wash my hands, and then another little boy would run in the bathroom. Repeat. Wash. Repeat. Wash. It's no wonder my hands are so dry in the winter, from all that handwashing!

The downside, however, is I've noticed we are going through a lot of toilet paper, as in a roll a day (or two days max). Is that normal? I don't know. I remember a few years ago when Sheryl Crow tried to tell everyone to use only one square of toilet paper, and more for those "pesky jobs." I know that's also not normal.

What I do know is I've come up with a plan to try to stretch it out a little and save some money.

1) Train the boys to take no more than five to six sheets at a time. Die-hard frugal zealots recommend three to four sheets, but sorry, I prefer things a little more cushy.
2) Train them to fold it in half, then in half again. Then there is still enough area to fold in half again before having to start over with new toilet paper.
3) I found this idea here. It's kind of interesting. "Separate two-ply paper into two rolls. A friend of mine swears this works. When she gets home from the store, she and the kids go to work separating out the two ply roll so that there is a layer or 'ply' per roll. She uses empty toilet paper tubes to roll the separated toilet paper and keep things neat."
I'm sure you could save money this way but I'd prefer to save time and just buy the toilet paper.
4) I know some people use newspaper and other items (like cut flannel). Yet, there are just some places where I draw the line. We are not in a third world country. I can afford to buy toilet paper. I prefer to.
5) I really like the Charmin brand best. So I watch for good sales, use coupons when I can, and stock up when it's on sale. A few weeks ago, our Kroger-affiliate, Smith's, had 12 double rolls of Charmin for $5.99.

A few weeks before that there were $2 off coupons in the blinkie by the toilet paper. I took a couple. The coupons were gone during the sale, but I had saved mine for such a time as this. I think I bought four packs. We're on our last one now, hoping to stretch it until the next decent sale.

It is a bit tongue-in-cheek that I ask this, but still, I'm curious to know--
How quickly does toilet paper disappear in your house and what have you done to conserve?

Lessons From The Farmhouse, Revisited

2012-02-01T10:07:00.000-07:00

Today I am revisiting one of the first posts I ever published, called "Lessons from the Farmhouse."
Here's an excerpt:

Driving through the Midwest, there is something very quaint about the rolling acres of cornfields, the neatly-painted red barns and the tidy and well-kept farmhouses that dot the land. The farmhouses seem to beckon visitors in, and I imagine them to be as spic and span, crisp and clean on the inside as they appear on the outside. This may not be the case, but as one drives past, the pride of ownership is so visible, it would be hard to imagine the inside of the home would be sloppy when the outside is so neat...

From outside appearances, I picture them shipshape inside, smelling of fresh air and sunshine. Beds are made neatly and crisply, a breeze blows through the windows, there are fresh flowers in glass vases decorating various rooms of the house. Thinking about what it could be like inside conjures up a peaceful feeling that I would like to recreate in my home.

But creating this idyllic image begs the question--how do you do it when you have young children underfoot? What lessons can we learn from farmhouse wives?

Go here to read the rest.

A Good Reason to Vacuum Under The Bed

2012-01-29T20:35:00.001-07:00

photo credit

In last week's Parade insert in the Sunday newspaper, Dr. Oz shared some advice about getting a good night's sleep. One of the main ways to get allergies at bay is to minimize dust in the home and particularly, in and under the bed. Did you know that dust mites are "microscopic arachnids that feed on human skin"? Yuck, yuck, yuck! They are a major trigger for asthma and allergies. He writes that these bugs "like to make their home in beds because of the steady supply of food." So the older the mattress, the more likely that mites are spending the night under the covers with you, feasting on your flesh.

This information was enough to give me a good reason to vacuum thoroughly under the bed this weekend. I think I took out an entire arachnid colony. At least, I sure hope I did! It's also a good reason to wash sheets weekly (or biweekly for pretty clean kids) in hot water.

I'm normally quite laid-back about things and a little dust doesn't bother me, but under and around the bed...let's just say my attack on the flesh-eating arachnids is on!

(By the way, Dr. Oz recommends replacing mattresses that are older than five to seven years, and buying mite-resistant casings for mattresses newer than that).

Menu Plan Monday: Bountiful Baskets Ideas

2012-01-29T19:56:00.004-07:00

Have you heard of Bountiful Baskets? It's wonderful way to feed your family fresh produce without breaking the bank. For $15, you get several in-season vegetables and fruits. You can also add onto your co-op order delicious bread ($12 for five loaves of nine-grain or organic Omega-3 Whole grain, which is made with honey, sunflower and flax seeds and of course whole wheat. It's delicious!), and themed packs. This week, I ordered an Asian pack and a Tropical pack. The Asian pack (for $8.50) included: 2 packs on green onions, onions and garlic, celery, ginger root, bok choy, Napa cabbage, fresh mint, snow peas, and six whole water chestnuts. The tropical pack ($10.50) came with a coconut, a pineapple, a plantain, fresh basil, limes, kiwi fruit, two vanilla beans, and two mangoes. The conventional pack ($15) included oranges, grapefruit, blueberries, apples, green beans, three red peppers and two green peppers, asparagus, onions, baby red potatoes, cabbage, and romaine lettuce.

Even though I consider myself a frugal shopper, I could never buy that much produce (or that kind of produce) for those prices. Plus, because I shop according to price, buying mostly what is on sale, I would probably never buy a coconut or bok choy and certainly not fresh herbs (except for cilantro and parsley, which are fairly cheap) on any given week because the price would eat up too much of my grocery budget. So we get to try things we wouldn't normally buy, and we are all healthier for it. It's fun!

Since I have a large amount of produce to use up in a short period of time, I am menu planning around my produce and any meat I still have in the freezer (plus a few protein items on sale at the store). Bountiful Baskets allows you to eat healthier, and save money. At our produce pick-up, the ladies in line next to me were commenting how much they've seen their grocery bills drop since ordering their baskets. Really, if you've eating more whole foods, and you're picking up your produce on the weekend, there is very little you need to get from the store (except for more whole foods ingredients to round out your meals, such as rice, meat/protein, dairy, etc.). Any time you can stay out of the store, you're instantly saving money (see this post and this one for more on this subject).

So here are some ideas for how I will be using all this wonderful produce this week (and into next):

(The Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book (Better Homes & Gardens Plaid) has fabulous recipes for using the vegetables)

Roast chicken (or in the crockpot), asparagus, boiled red skin potatoes
Use basil to make pesto, pasta, salad with romaine, tomatoes, celery, peppers, water chesnuts, etc.
Coconut shrimp with pineapple sauce, sauteed Chinese cabbage, cheese biscuits
Asian beef stir fry over rice (using peppers, green onions, snow peas, green beans, ginger) (in our church cookbook)
Teriyaki Chicken, Chinese cabbage salad, Orange pilaf (from Colorado Cache Cookbook: 30th Anniversary Edition)
Beef with peppers
Cuban shrimp stew (from Colorado Colore: A Palate of Tastes)
Brauts, Cabbage, potato bake (church cookbook recipe)
Chicken and ginger stir-fry
Runzas (recipe in our church cookbook), tropical fruit salad
Chicken casserole (uses water chestnuts and long grain rice), green beans amadine (from Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book, 15th Edition (Better Homes & Gardens Plaid))
Ratatouille (From Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book, 15th Edition (Better Homes & Gardens Plaid))
Fajitas
Stuffed peppers from our church cookbook
Calzones with sauteed eggplant, onions, spinach, sausage and cheese (recipe in our church cookbook)
Chicken/pork/salmon bok choy (recipes here for chicken, here for pork, and here for salmon)
Pork chow mein
Shredded bbq beef sandwiches, coleslaw, thinly sliced fried potato "chips"

Breakfast Ideas:

Orange bread
Smoothies
Banana Bread and orange juice
Cranberry-orange scones
Granola, Greek yogurt, blueberries, strawberries
Blueberry muffins
Orange muffins from Colorado Cache Cookbook: 30th Anniversary Edition

Lunch Ideas:

Chicken pasta salad (cook tri-colored rotini, drain and rinse with cold water, add Italian dressing, feta cheese, tomatoes, diced chicken, and any other veggies you'd like--cucumbers, olives, etc.)
BLT's on whole-grain bread
dinner leftovers most every day :)
or...use some dinner ideas for lunch ideas (stir-frys, etc).

Dessert ideas:

Coconut cream pie
coconut macaroons
fried plantain with butter and sugar or candied plantains
fresh fruit with mint and sherbert
candied oranges (from Colorado Colore: A Palate of Tastes (Celebrating Twenty Five Years of Culinary Artistry)

One thing I'd love some help on, though--

Does anyone have any other ideas on how to use fresh mint?

(more menu planning ideas at orgjunkie.com)

The MomHeart Conference: Encouragement, Rejuvenation, Inspiration

2012-01-25T15:09:00.001-07:00

I just returned from Sally Clarkson's MomHeart Conference in Denver. Attending a conference focused solely on encouraging women in motherhood rejuvenated, inspired, and encouraged me. First, simply being around other moms who are all going through the same stuff reminded me that we are not alone. I am not the only mom struggling to figure out how to handle housework, homeschooling, and a baby. At the nursing moms table where I sat, that seemed to be one of the biggest issues we as moms of multiples are working through right now.

One of the messages of the conference was that when we are alone in our homes, we can feel isolated--like we are the only ones struggling with some big issues, such as discouragement. But when we are in fellowship with other women, we realize we are not alone. We can share our burdens, pray for each other, and receive much needed encouragement to make it through the week.

Not only was it encouraging, the conference was also inspiring. The heart of the conference focused on building a family culture and training our children to love God with all our hearts, souls, and minds. What does this look like? Mainly, figuring out who God created your family to be, and intentionally doing the things that affirm your family's unique identity and calling in this world. We fill our child's hearts, souls and minds by "feeding them the best," as Sally said--the best literature, the best music, the best art (and the best times around the table too). (See this post of mine for more on intentionally creating an intoxicating family atmosphere). Hearing all the stories and ideas for creating a home filled with love and encouragement inspired me.

Listening to the talks certainly rejuvenated my spirits. It was like warm rays of sunshine shining down upon my soul. There are certainly areas where I can do better in my mothering, such as encouraging my children more and more. The conference also drove that home. Sally shared that if we are harsh with our children, yet teach that God is love, they will not have a reference for understanding what that looks like. On the other hand, if we are patient with them, instruct gently, tolerate their childishness without losing our cool, cuddle up with them and read them stories, give them lots of hugs and kisses, and make time to make them feel like the most special children in the world, then they will better understand God's love and purposes for them, because they see it in action in our hearts toward them every single day.

It's a high calling. We don't achieve any of this in our own strength, but only through the power of Christ working in us. We absolutely need to make time for prayer and fellowship with our Father every single day if we want to come anywhere close to being the wives and mothers He wants us to be (and we want to be). As Sally said, we can't give out what we aren't first taking it. She stressed the importance of daily quiet times. She also shared in all these noble pursuits, we live between ideals and reality. How true that is.

As the conference closed, I felt great...empowered to be the most fabulous mother of all time for my children. Then we got home and the boys started fighting like little wolf pups, the baby who is teething fussed most of the day, Play-Doh from creative pursuits spread everywhere, milk spilled not once but twice and spread like a river all over the kitchen floor, and as I tried to read aloud from a good book, the boys were most interested in being rowdy than listening. The laundry is still in the suitcase...in the middle of the kitchen floor.

Though moments like that (or a series of them) threaten to rob my joy and steal my peace, I am trying to remember everything I learned and the inspiration I took away. This is the stuff these little years are made of. They pass quickly. Let's shape our hearts with, in Sally's words, goodness, truth, and beauty. In turn, we can shape our childrens' hearts out of the outflow of our hearts with gentleness, grace, forgiveness, as we train them in gracious manners, language, and courtesies, always learning how to overcome evil with good. (My friend blogged about it here as well; a great post).

Because it boost my spirits so much, I would like to encourage you to consider attending a MomHeart conference (or any other conference near you focused on empowering you to be a great mom). There are two upcoming MomHeart conferences in California and Texas. There are also Above Rubies retreats across the country (under the teaching of Nancy Campbell). Just as professionals attend conferences to stay on top of their skills and learn cutting-edge techniques for their trades, doesn't it make sense to find a conference to help you excel in your field of motherhood? Give it a try. I think you'll be so glad you did!

Frugal Friday: Check the Ad

2012-01-19T23:10:00.000-07:00

Our grocery store circulars arrive every Wednesday along with our community newspaper (as long as our young carrier actually leaves a paper at our house that week!). I love to flip through and see what's on sale and look for those really great buys (if there are any that week).

On my last few shopping trips, I've realized how important it is to look at the ad before (or at least during) shopping. While stickers on the shelves should reflect sale prices, sometimes they do not. For example, I went to Target a few weeks ago to pick up Camelbak Kids Water Bottles--advertised to be 20% off. Yet, when I found the items in the store, there was nothing there to indicate that they were on sale. Had I just been shopping through the aisles, I would have totally missed the sale (and probably never would have bought the items).

The same thing happened to me at Safeway, although I can't remember what it was now that I was buying--just that it was a great buy in the ad and not marked on the shelf. This caused me to double check the ad to make sure the item I wanted to be was indeed on sale.

Another benefit to checking the ad is that some of the grocery store circulars contain coupons that you can use, usually along with a manufacturer coupon. But when you find Prego spaghetti sauce on the shelf, for example, although there may be a tag advertising the sale price, there will not be a tag screaming, "Grab the ad! On page four, there's a coupon for me, for an even better price!"

Lately, our Smith's (Kroger-affiliate) store has been advertising in the weekly circulars additional digital coupons available on items. But you won't find this information by the product in the store. It's only in the ad.

Looking through your grocery ads each week only takes a few minutes. The pay-off is it allows you to gain valuable, money-saving information. Don't go to check out without them!

(linked to Frugal Friday).

All My Children

2012-01-18T08:23:00.001-07:00

More out of necessity than desire, I loaded up all the kids and went to Walmart last week to get some groceries and household supplies. This was my first trip to the grocery store with all four of my children. The trip actually went surprisingly well (much better than this one)--in large part due to the fact that my husband and I have really been cracking down on training and first-time obedience. There just isn't leeway now for them to have, um, "freedom of expression" in the store. For things to go smoothly (and for me to stay relatively pleasant), they need to stay right next to me. (More on all of this in another post).

When we reached checkout, the cashier asked increduously, "Are these all your children?"

After runnning some come-back lines in my head ("No, I rented them for the day", "No, I found them in the toy section. They're very real looking, aren't they? Do you want to scan their UPC?", or "No, I don't know whose they are. They just came up and started following me through the store."), I answered his question without any comeback. "Yep, they're all mine." I think four children is more on the small end of large families, so I was surprised he would ask that, but oh well!

Even though more than two children per family may not be all that popular (or smiled upon) in culture today, I thought it would be fun to look at other famous large families, both past and present. (I was asked to do a devotion for a baby shower a few weeks ago, and this is what I did).

Ben Franklin—one of 17 children
Mel Gibson—fathered 8 children (7 with his wife, one with his then-girlfriend)
Author Danielle Steel--7 children, and she would write during the night so she did not need to take away family time for her work
Sen. Rick Santorum—7 children
The Von Trapp family-- 10
George H.W. and Barbara Bush family—6
George Washington--one of 13
Susanna Wesley (mother of Charles Wesley and John Wesley)—19 (many died during childhood)
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie—6 children
Comedian Eddie Murphy—8 children
Actress Jane Seymour—6
Actor Kirk Cameron—6
Frank Gilbreth and Lillian Gilbreth (the "Cheaper by the Dozen" family)—12
Celine Dion—youngest of 14
Actor Mark Walhburg—youngest of 9
Jim Bob & Michelle Dugar—19
Justice Antonin Scalia—9 (5 boys, four girls)
Joseph and Rose Kennedy (parents of J.F.K.) 9 (4 boys, 5 girls)

Of course, there are many others. I am blessed to live in a community where many families have embraced the biblical view of children and have many children. When your friends also have lots of kids, you don't feel so alone. It feels like the norm!
“Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,

The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;
They will not be ashamed…” (Psalm 127:3-5, NASB)

The bottom line, whether you have one or ten, is that you are blessed and you need not be ashamed!

(linked to Raising Homemakers)

Two Weeks' Worth of Menu Plans

2012-01-15T22:21:00.003-07:00

I have two weeks of menu plans today. It's especially helpful on my end to have extra ideas to pull from, since the roast I bought and cooked for dinner Sunday night had a hidden blood clot running through the middle of it, which was terribly disgusting. Yuck. Out goes my original plan to use leftover roast beef in the first few meals of this week. (However, I'm going to take it back to the store and get a new roast, so those meals may work yet).

Also this week, I picked up my very first Bountiful Baskets order and love it! I ordered a 20-pound box of Cara Cara oranges, so needless to say, we will be eating and juicing lots of oranges in the next few weeks.

Here are the ideas, listed by category:

Breakfasts:

Peanut-butter baked oatmeal and fruit
Blueberry muffins, smoothies
Swedish pancakes
Chocolate Malt-o-Meal with a teaspoonful of peanut butter mixed into each bowl with milk (my kids would love to eat this for every meal, I think)
Cereal, bananas, juice
Overnight French Toast
Whole-wheat pancakes, orange juice
Oatmeal, brown sugar, dates, walnuts; fruit bowls (bananas, oranges, kiwi, pineapple)
Scrambled eggs with sauteed peppers, onions, maybe mushrooms if I can sneak them in;)
Orange Julius, banana bread from master mix
Choc. Malt-o-Meal again in week 2 (see note above) :)
Fried eggs, toast, oranges
Overnight caramel rolls

Lunches:

Ham sandwiches, celery sticks, oranges
Tuna noodle casserole, peaches
Popcorn chicken, macaroni and cheese, apple slices
Sloppy joes, corn, fruit salad
White Chicken chili, tortillas, salad
BBQ Beef sandwiches, sweet potato fries
Dinner Leftovers
Avocado-Chicken salad sandwiches from roasted chicken, apple slices
PB & J sandwiches, veggies
Chili-cheese dip and chips

Dinners:

Beef and Rice enchiladas, lettuce, tomato, avocado
Hamburgers, fries, jello salad
Beef fajitas with avocado, pineapple
Crockpot potato soup, pull-apart herb rolls
Roast Chicken, Avocado-citrus salad, Oven-Roasted vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, and brussel sprouts--halved--from Bountiful Baskets, maybe even the mushrooms. Just cut up the veggies, put in a big bowl, drizzle olive oil and sea salt, maybe some pepper and any herbs you'd like (basil?), and put on a baking sheet in the oven. Roast at about 400 for 10-15 minutes (just watch carefully).
Homemade pizza, Caesar salad
Beef tips (basically beef for stew), simmered in sauce recipe (water, beef broth, soy sauce, Worcestershire, garlic, onion) and then add brown gravy mix (or make your own) and serve over noodles, brussel sprouts sauteed in butter
(out for a few days)

See more menu planning ideas at orgjunkie.com!

The Fiery Room of Hell

2012-01-12T20:45:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, we were at a house that screamed 1950's, complete down to the thick red shag carpet in a paneled basement room. We're talking blood red. And thick, with giant loops.

My boys--probably thinking that we went down into the depths of the earth--thought we were in hell.

One exclaimed, "Mom! Look, the fiery lake of hell!"
Which prompted another to ask, "Mom, are we in hell?"
Another son asked, "Is this the fiery room of hell?"

They enjoyed running around in and test-driving the fiery room of hell, squealing, "We're in hell! We're in hell! We're in hell!".

But then, our oldest son reasoned it out for his brothers (and for his own peace-of-mind). "No, this isn't hell. We're not going to hell, because [with a crescendo] WE BELIEVE IN JESUS!"

The Power of Encouragement

2012-01-09T22:46:00.000-07:00

With small children, especially, there is so much for them to become discouraged about. They are trying to learn new things, and they often don't succeed on the first (or even the second, or third, or fifth) attempt. They frequently receive correction for childish behavior or self-centered attitudes. All of this can leave them feeling down.

That's where encouragement steps in. It is a powerful force in anyone's life. All things begin to brighten under the refreshment encouragement provides.

In Nancy Campbell's book, How to Encourage Your Children, she suggests writing the name of each one of our family members across the top of a journal page with columns below their names. Each day, aim to say at least one encouraging thing to each person. If you did, put a check by that person's name. Make it your goal for this to become second-nature.

Here's an example. Yesterday, I encouraged my son, who is learning to read. He doesn't always like it, because he thinks it's too hard sometimes. We sat curled up on the couch together, with the afternoon sun streaming through our front windows in such a pretty way. It was a special memory. While I was making dinner, I told him how I really enjoyed sitting with him in that pretty light and listening to him read. I encouraged him that he's getting better and better at it, and I am proud of him for doing hard things and not giving up. He just beamed.

I think it's important to not only praise the good things our children do, but also (and more importantly) to praise who they're becoming. When we see our children helping each other or saying kind and complimentary things to one another, lavish the praise! It will happen more and more.

As I wrote yesterday, Michelle Duggar--supermom of 19 that she is--is so big on the power of encouragement. If there's a secret weapon in a mom's arsenal to bring about good behavior and positive attitudes, she'd know, mainly through experience. I think that secret weapon is encouragement. Plus, as we look for and point out the good in our children, it helps our attitudes toward them as well--making for a happier family all around.

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." (1 Thess. 5:11)

Forming Habits

2012-01-08T21:43:00.001-07:00

With the New Year come resolutions for new habits. As parents, we not only identify areas where we can improve, but also where our children can form new habits or improve upon already existing ones, such as obeying our requests more promptly, picking up after themselves, and paying attention fully.

Although it sounds so simple, learning to pay attention is not necessarily an easy habit to acquire. Yet it is foundational to just about every other habit imaginable. Nineteenth-century educator Charlotte Mason urged parents to see to it that their children developed the habit of paying attention, for, she wrote, "no talent, no genius, is worth much without the power of attention; and this is the power which makes men or women successful in life." She recommended parents of easily distractable children help their children build the habit of attention by keeping lessons short (ten minutes or less) and interesting.

I love what author Jamie McMillen has to say about forming new habits in her book, Legendary Learning: The Famous Homeschoolers' Guide to Self-Directed Excellence:

"Creating a new habit is actually a lot of work. That's why so many people fail to do it. Like water, we all tend to follow the same easy, well-worn paths rather than exert the effort to clear a new path. But this is all the more reason to help our kids build the right papths in the first place. It takes diligence."

The diligence required to train our children to form habits that can make us so weary as moms as moms sometimes. I would love it if I could explain and demonstrate once what I expect and then have it followed exactly so ever-after. But that is not the case when it comes to training children. This calls for a loving spirit and a great deal of patience (and a new, or improved, habit of such on Mom's part!).

"We can reinforce those expectations with gentle reminders. But we will have to be consistent and follow through. It's not enough to just say, 'Please put away your paints so we can set the table,' then repeat it at regular intervals hoping that your child will comply. You will save yourself a lot of heartache if you get your child in the habit early of cleaning up her paints as soon as she is done. Do it with her every time at first. Show her how to clean the brushes and where to put her picture to dry and where to put the paint box every time. The hard part is consistency. Even if you are in the middle of preparing dinner or a phone call, you need to initiate the cleaning-up process as soon as she is done painting. Eventually your consistency will pay off and it will become a habit she can continue on her own."--Legendary Learning: The Famous Homeschoolers' Guide to Self-Directed Excellence

So when it comes to teaching our children new habits, first demonstrate in short, bite-sized chunks, what you expect. In Legendary Learning, McMillen writes about John Wooden--named "the greatest coach of all time in any sport" by ESPN. His success was credited to the fact that he ran short, intense drills followed by feedback. Explain, demonstrate, imitate, correct, repeat--that was his habit of coaching. It worked.

"Training for anything involves repition of the correct behavior. Drama, screaming, and scolding are not helpful. Consistency, modeling, and patience are the way to go. Legendary Learning: The Famous Homeschoolers' Guide to Self-Directed Excellence

I love those lines. I would add that praise is a huge motivator as well. Our children will hopefully work hard on learning and perfecting their new habits, and they will do so much better (and be so much more motivated to work harder) under our words of encouragement and praise. As I watch Michelle Duggar with her children, I never see her raise her voice or sternly correct her little ones. She is full of praise for their attempts at obedience and helpfulness. Those little nuggets motivate children in a way that criticism and harshness never will.

(linked with the Homemaking link-up at Raising Homemakers and Works for Me Wednesday)

My Son Swallowed a Quarter

2011-12-28T22:01:00.001-07:00

photo credit

In a newly invented game--one that he thought of himself--my six-year old son swallowed a quarter. The game? A spin-off of Hungry, Hungry Hippos: "Stuff Your Mouth With Coins--See How Much You Can Hold." Except he couldn't hold as much as he thought he could, and down went the quarter.

He came upstairs, crying and scared. "Mom, I swallowed a quarter. Am I gonna die?" Me, not thinking he was capable of such a feat, wondered why he would be making up a story like this. But after lots of questioning, "Are you serious? Are you really serious?" and affirming he was in fact serious, the second line of questioning was, "Are you sure it was a quarter?" We are learning about the different coins right now, and I told him to show me exactly what coin he had put in his mouth. He produced a quarter.

With the coins from his piggy bank spread in piles (pennies, nickles, quarters minus one) all over the living room, he began to cry. "I don't want to die. This was too short of a life! I didn't even get to fly a plane."

I assured him that I didn't think he would die. He assured me that he would. We went in for the x-ray. On the way, I lectured him about how we don't have insurance and Christmas is in a few days (this was last week) and this is not what I want to be spending money on. Then, thoughts of surgery, flashed through my mind, and huge, horrible bills. I just prayed the quarter would go down and out quickly.

I realized he did not need lecturing in what he believed were his final moments on earth, but rather compassion and mercy. I stopped lecturing and drove silently the rest of the way. That was as much mercy as I could muster right then.

Sure enough, the x-ray showed a quarter. Fortunately, it was in his abdomen--not his trachea or esophagus, which would have required surgery in our nearest metropolitan city four hours away, since no surgeon will touch that kind of surgery here in our smallish city.

I think it's since entered the sewer system. Despite our daily checking, I think we missed its exit.

Tonight, our middle son began crying before bed and asked if he would die if he swallowed a nail. After another line of intent questioning, he admitted he did in fact swallow a nail. My stomach sunk to the floor.
I buried my head in my hands. My husband asked him why in the world he would do such a thing. Through tears, he answered, "Because my nail was sharp and I was mad at it, so I wanted it off." It was his finger-nail.

A "Good Enough" Christmas

2011-12-22T22:00:00.001-07:00

Is it just me, or does this Christmas seem a little different from years past? The house isn't clean enough; the tree isn't decorated enough (the ribbon ran out half-way down, and I have yet to finish it; several ornaments were removed after curious hands broke too many); the baking isn't done; cards aren't even started. My son swallowed a quarter last week and it has yet to make its way out. It's just one of those years.

I could keep stressing about it all and the lack of being the way I want it to be. Or I could relax and realize it is good enough and enjoy it as it is.

photo credit

I often wonder what Mary thought two-thousand years ago, as she prepared to give birth to her baby boy, in a place and circumstance that wasn't quite good enough. Far from home, in an unfamiliar town, with unfamiliar people. No family around. Her mother was not there to help her give birth, probably not even a mid-wife. And the location? Giving birth to God's Son in a dirty stable? Laying a newborn in a manger for feeding livestock? You've got to be kidding. Nothing seemed good enough.

And yet it was. Even more than good enough, it was one of the holiest nights (along with the Resurrection) in all history.

So even if things don't seem just so, let's remember what it is that we're really celebrating. Even the most bare-bones Christmas experience is still worlds compared to what the mother of Christ herself experienced. It's not about the fanfare. It's about the event.

The 30 Minute Principle

2011-12-12T15:12:00.001-07:00

photo credit

The list of things I'm falling behind on grows by the minute. It's beginning to look a lot like those giant Christmas lists Santa unrolls in the movies. For example, when I learned I was having a girl this time around, I purchased material to sew some adorable clothes in Making Children's Clothes. I'm a beginner seamstress; I just haven't begun.

Another example--
My third son (who just turned three and can't say his "j's" yet) looked at the wall of pictures the other day and said, "Mom, where's Whack in these pictures?" (His name is Jack). Yeah, no pictures of him on the wall anywhere. In fact, his baby book isn't even begun.

That's why I love the 30 minute principle:
Work at something every day--be it a creative project like scrapbooking or sewing, or a necessary project like putting laundry away--for 30 focused minutes (or as many focused minutes as you can with small children in the house). Set a timer if you want. When the 30 minutes is over, put the project away for the day, and start again the next day where you left off.

I read about this idea in Teri Maxwell's book Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit (which is fabulous, by the way). She says that disorganization can be one of the biggest hindrances to a meek (not easily perturbed) and quiet (gentle) spirit. I definitely find that to be true in my own life. This 30-minute principle, although referenced in Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit, is actually from her other book, Managers of Their Homes.

So whether it's getting your house under control, or finding time to work on a hobby, I encourage you to find a way to put the 30 minute principle into action! That half hour is a perfect length of time to get something accomplished without getting burned out (especially when you're cleaning or organizing). Thirty minutes a day, then stop until the next day. You may find yourself even looking forward to it...unless of course, the job that's been put off too long is cleaning out the fridge!

(linked up at Works for Me Wednesday)

Christmas Giveaway

2011-12-08T14:24:00.000-07:00

I received an email announcement about this giveaway and thought I would share it with you! Good luck! I know my boys would love the castle blocks!

With the holiday season upon us and many people getting caught up in commercial buzz, Primrose Schools is encouraging families to slow down and reflect on their favorite things. Dr. Zurn, the Vice President of Education and Professional Development for Primrose, is helping spread her love of giving to her Dr. Z and Friends followers by sharing her Favorite Things with you and your children!

For the remainder of this week and all of next week, until December 16th, Dr. Z will describe one of her Favorite Things in a blog post and give it away at the end of the day; simply leave a comment on her post to enter for that day's giveaway and a winner will be chosen at random to win not only that day's Favorite Thing but you will also win a book that reflects the same theme.

So far, Dr. Z has given away a music set, a full collection of children’s books, and an iPad with an iTunes giftcard. The prizes for the remaining prizes for the first week are as follows, with next week’s prizes being announced soon:

December 8th: A Groupon gift card for you to use on your next family outing. The book is Field Trip Day by Lynne Plourde.

December 9th:
ArchiQuest Blocks: Kings and Castles

The book is
Castles, Caves, and Honeycombs

More about Dr. Mary Zurn: She has been with Primrose Schools since 2004 and has been paramount in developing the curriculum taught in the family of over 200 early education day care practices. With over 40 years of experience, she began her blog as a way to communicate with parents and loved ones her love for education and children.

More prizes being given away next week! Go here to enter.

Menu Plan Monday

2011-12-05T10:45:00.000-07:00

So there are some great sales at Safeway right now that I want to take advantage of, but other than that, I am trying to plan my menu around the meats I have in the freezer (and beans) and the vegetables on hand. Need to get some fruit for the week, though.

Breakfasts:

Oatmeal, orange juice
French breakfast puffs, homemade hot chocolate
Scrambled eggs, toast, kiwi fruit
Muffins, Greek yogurt with granola and honey
Cream of wheat
pancakes
Oven-baked omelet, toast

Lunches:

Goulash, bread and butter, oranges
Cheesy beef and rice, green beans
Vegetable beef soup, rolls
Chicken salad sandwiches, grapes
Leftovers
(Saturday--snacks)
Sunday--chili cheese dip during football

Dinners:

Pork roast, mashed potatoes, gravy, brussel sprouts, chocolate cake
Pork stir fry over rice, tropical fruit salad
Roasted chicken (or in crockpot), butternut squash, Normandy blend vegetables
Beef stew (crockpot), milk, bread and butter, honey
Pinto beans and rice (taco style), corn
Skillet ziti with broccoli and chicken

Visit Menu Plan Monday for more ideas!

Potato soup, salad

I'm A Mommy, Not A Mompreneur (Part 2)

2011-12-01T12:03:00.000-07:00

The Internet provides a fabulous way for moms to earn money from home. It sounds like a dream come true: stay-at-home to raise your children, wash your laundry, cook your meals, clean your house, offer hospitality to friends and strangers, and earn some money, too, without ever leaving your front door.

But is it really that easy? Or has feminism so crept into our beliefs that we as Christian women—many of whom profess to stand staunchly against the doctrines of feminism--are feminists and we don’t even realize it?

Feminism encourages women to pursue careers outside the home, but does Christian feminism encourage women to pursue careers inside the home? Even Christians who think they oppose feminism may find they have subconsciously been so influenced by it that they, too, crave career success, but justify it by working from home. But if one seeks to climb the career ladder in one’s field from inside the home, is that really any different than doing the same thing outside the home?

"The mompreneur movement is one steadily growing in the US as mothers try to find ways to make money, express their creativity or business acumen, and also to parent their children". --source

Read what World Net Daily has to say about feminism's influence in culture today and see if it applies to the mompreneur movement:

"So many women – and men – have bought into the notion that women should work outside the home that for the first time in American history, and perhaps world history, vast numbers of children are not primarily raised by their mothers or even by an extended family member. Instead they are raised for a significant part of their childhood by nannies and by workers at day care centers. Whatever feminists may say about [they’re] only advocating choices, everyone knows the truth: Feminism regards work outside the home as more elevating, honorable and personally productive than full-time mothering and homemaking." (bold mine) source

We may say we agree with those statements (or we may not), but what I'd like us to ask ourselves is:

Do we regard work inside the home as more elevating, honorable and personally productive than full-time mothering and homemaking?

There are so many moms out there earning a part-or full-time income from making products, writing articles, and marketing their sites and products online. Nothing wrong with that. The Proverbs 31 woman, who provides us an excellent example of biblical femininity, was involved in the marketplace, no doubt. Proverbs 31 tells us she sewed and sold linen garments, traded goods, and bought a field out of her earnings. Yet, all of her endeavors were for the good of her household—not for her own career success. From this, I gather that there is a distinction between a mom selling craft items or writing articles in her spare time and a mompreneur aggressively pursuing success from within her own home.

Plus, it sounds like the children of the Proverbs 31 woman were not small. They arose and blessed her. This tells us they were old enough to: 1) walk, and 2) talk. Perhaps she wasn’t involved in the marketplace when she was fully involved in raising small children?

Yet, many mompreneurs are not only trying to rise to the top in their fields, they’re usually also parenting little ones who desperately need Mom’s training and attention. They might even be homeschooling, too. They either have superhuman organizational skills and manage to excel at it all, or the work-family balance is out of balance.

“One of the principal issues the mompreneur faces is learning how to balance the requirements of her children with the needs of her business. This is why many sites advise people new to running a business to create small realistic expectations that will not cause too much of a burden to especially young children.” --source

The truth is--we really can't do it all. Even Crystal Paine, the famous money-saving mom, admits that her success comes with a price—it’s not a cake-walk.

“I am a firm believer that, with God's blessings and lots of hard work, anyone can successfully work from home. However, I will be the first to tell you that working from home is just that–it's work...
I won't sugar-coat the truth when it comes to working from home: if you are not prepared to put in lots and lots and lots of time and effort, working from home won't work for you.”--http://moneysavingmom.com/2009/10/becoming-a-workathome-mom-its-work.html

Motherhood—being a good mom—is already a full-time job. Homeschooling, for those that do, is at least a part-time job. Keeping house, making nutritious meals and caring for the needs of our families is another full-time job. Since I already have two full-time jobs and one part-time job, I can’t take on anymore in this season. That’s why I’m a mommy, not a mompreneur.

I'm A Mommy, Not A Mompreneur (Part 1)

2011-11-28T21:57:00.000-07:00

In the movie Soul Surfer, Bethany Hamilton's youth pastor tells her that sometimes all we need is to pull back from a situation to get some perspective on it. That's happened to me with blogging.

I love to write. I remember sitting in my bedroom, probably as young as six or seven, writing stories in notebooks I'd keep. In college, I majored in communications and minored in psychology and religion. I envisioned myself going into broadcast news and wanted to make it to the top. But I didn't see how that could fit with my other goal of being a wife and mother, and perhaps someday having a writing and speaking ministry.

God worked it all out. I did work as a journalist for a few years before deciding to trade in my career for a new career: Mommy. Honestly, even the tightest deadline (even a minute to air) is still not as challenging as motherhood can be some days. But what I am doing with my kids has value that reaches far beyond the impact of any news story.

For me, blogging has been a great way to continue to express my love for writing and my desire to encourage other moms. I tried to blog daily. But honestly, I just can't keep up. Not in this season, at least.

I know there are plenty of talented women who run successful, profitable blogs. Would I love to be in that category with them? Yes, and no. I think, if we're honest, we all want what we're doing to translate into some measurable success. But getting to that point takes a lot of time and a lot of effort. Right now, I can't do it. I can't devote the time it would take to write and market my humble blog and keep up with what I need to do at home, and most of all--raise my children. They're little now. They need lots of time and attention--attention I can't be giving them if I'm giving it to my computer.

Honestly, I don't know how other moms of small children (especially moms who say they homeschool) are finding time to be "mompreneurs." Either they have out-of-this-world organizational skills, or something's falling through the cracks.

As I've been mulling over posting on this topic, I just read what Sally Clarkson wrote and knew it was time for me to start this discussion here.

"Last Spring, I met with a young woman. She said, as many young women have said, “Sally, God is just opening so many doors for me, I just have to be a good steward of my opportunities.” (as her exhausted teen daughter was pushing her toddler in a stroller behind her, and complaining that her mom just never had time for her.) This happens to me a lot–young women who have stars in their eyes from money that can be made, audiences that can be found, numbers that can build up. [bold mine]

I have never had more opportunities come my way as now, but I do not like what I see going on in my heart and soul, and so, I am convicted that I need to cut back. I am pulling back from expectations. Pulling back from stress. And simplifying."--http://www.itakejoy.com/im-just-not-that-important/

That's what I've been realizing: I need to forget about trying to be big as a blogger and focus fully on what I'm called to do at home, as a wife and mother. It's my first and highest calling. It keeps me busy! It is, after all, a full-time job in itself.

I love what Paul writes, "Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load." (Galatians 6:4-5). The study note says, "Paul suggests that we focus instead on our own responsibilities. Are we faithfully living for God and fulfilling our responsibilities before him?"

I'll be blogging more about motherhood and mompreneurship in the next few days--just can't promise it will be tomorrow!

Why I Love Watching The Duggars

2011-11-25T20:24:00.001-07:00

There is something definitely unique about having a large family in today's culture. There is something even more unique when you have a family Duggar-sized. Many people, including myself, are intrigued by this special family and how they make everything work.

To get a glimpse into their daily lives and glean wisdom from their experience, I've read their books (The Duggars: 20 and Counting!: Raising One of America's Largest Families--How they Do It and A Love That Multiplies: An Up-Close View of How They Make it Work). Recently Vision Forum offered a free Tea With Michelle Dugar video download if you liked the ministry on Facebook. From listening to Michelle share about motherhood in a conference setting, I desired to learn more from her on how she handles various challenges that come with raising multiple children. So I talked my husband into downloading the latest season on his computer, and we could watch the episodes on our TV through Apple TV . I also put in an inter-library loan request for 18 Kids and Counting: Season 2. We just finished watching all the episodes. Today (Black Friday), Christianbook.com has 17 Kids & Counting, Season 1 on sale for $3.99 (plus lots of other great family-friendly movies on sale)!

What we all love about watching these videos is they offer inspiration and serve as a fine model for family life. Quite frankly, whether you have one children or eleven, they're just a great example to us all. You may not agree with all their personal convictions (such as making sure their knees are always fully clothed), but you can't help but appreciate (and learn from) Michelle's calm and gentle spirit with her children. I can certainly strive to emulate that same grace with my children--a family one-fifth the size of hers.

In an era where not much on TV is wholesome or family-friendly (I heard Glee just featured a teen girl losing her virginity and two teenage boys lost theirs to each other), watching the Duggars is family-viewing at its finest. Unlike Jon and Kate Plus 8, which left me feeling sad and depressed to see how she treated her husband (while they were still married), watching the Duggars is uplifting. I love that we all, from our three-year old to my husband, can find a nugget of wisdom to take away from each episode, whether it's watching how the siblings treat each other, how they handle homeschool, how Michelle and Jim Bob respond to the children's energy and activity levels in the house, and more. They're a great example to me of not easily becoming agitated or short-tempered, but understanding that kids are kids--rules within reason but don't hyperventilate when a child is climbing on top of the couch or trying to climb up the window.

If you didn't come from a home where Christian family-life was modeled well, or even if you did, I think you'll find taking a peek into the Duggar's home can help us all learn to do it better. At the very least, you'll be inspired and encouraged that raising your family to love God and each other is one of the most important things you'll ever do.

The Home Ec Counter

2011-11-21T22:22:00.000-07:00

All I remember about taking home economics in junior high is how clean the kitchen was. The only thing I recall learning to make was homemade donuts, but for some reason, the cleanliness of the counter is still in my mind to this day. It was spotless. Cooking in the classroom kitchen felt laboratory-like.

Like my home economics classroom, the kitchen for a nutrition class I took a few years ago was also spotless and lab-like. But when you think about it, food preparation is a science (and an art.) It deserves an austere workspace.

Yet, that's not what I find in my home most days. Sure there is room enough on the counter to do all my necessary food prep (usually). But how much more there would be if, like the classroom kitchens, there was absolutely nothing on the counter top.

A spotless counter encourages cooking and baking. The whole process is easier, because, for one, there is room to work. Things don't have to be cleared or shuffled around first, which can discourage home-cooking and baking.

So that is my goal for this week--to get the counter completely cleared (perhaps even of appliances...we'll see) and then keep it that way.

MomSense Winner

2011-11-21T21:19:00.000-07:00

The winner of MomSense: A Common-Sense Guide to Confident Mothering is Andrea.
Andrea, I've sent you an email. Please send me your mailing address, and I will get your book out to you.

Thanks, everyone, for entering. Even if you didn't win a copy, I hope you have a chance to read it! It's a great, confidence-inspiring book.

Smooth-Sailing Sundays

2011-11-20T18:00:00.001-07:00

Are Sunday mornings stressful at your home? Trying to get everyone out the door for church on time, while looking for needed, but misplaced items (like one missing shoe) can make the most patient among us come unglued. I told my husband before church that I knew my warning signs and I was approaching the "I'm going to lose it now!" emergency signal. At church, one of my best friends said, "You look stressed." (It was either really obvious, or this is a testimony to the fact that she knows me well).

Although the morning was full of promise (since I woke up for good at 6AM and got breakfast ready shortly thereafter and laid out the boys' clothes--minus shoes), it all fell apart.

Here are just a few of the items we couldn't find in the half hour before needing to head out the door:

baby's diaper cover to match her dress
the hat I had crocheted for her, which would have matched her outfit perfectly
matching shoes for our 3-year old
one of my shoes (thanks to little boys who play in our closet)
the next set of checks for the checkbook

In retrospect, this list doesn't seem too long. But the stress lies in having to find multiple items in mere minutes. And if you can't find them, it is even more frustrating.

The key to being prepared, and having a peaceful Sunday morning, really starts Saturday night.

Last week, for Lauren's baby dedication, I wanted to ensure a peaceful morning. So Saturday night was really geared toward a smooth Sunday morning, instead of our own leisure. I figured out what each of the boys was going to wear, and laid out their clothes--complete down to socks and shoes. I made sure anything that needed to be pressed was. I put the baby's dress, tights, and shoes together (except I forgot to find the hair ribbon the night before).

On Sunday morning, we got up and immediately started getting ready. Then, if there was extra time before church, the kids could play or do whatever they wanted once they were ready. This was so much more peaceful than procrastinating and then having to rush like mad...which in the end just makes everyone mad.

(Lauren has laid out a helpful list here as well: http://titus2moments.blogspot.com/2011/10/preparation-is-key-part-1.html)

What tips have helped you get out of the house peacefully?

MomSense: A Common Sense Guide to Confident Mothering

2011-11-15T16:38:00.154-07:00

You would think that, with my fourth child, I would be pretty confident in my mothering. Not necessarily so. Sure, I am more confident in many areas, such as interpreting what an infant is trying to communicate, how to go about potty-training boys, and how to deal with a temper tantrum in public. But after the birth of my fourth, I suddenly felt like a wave tossed to and fro in regard to our parenting philosophy in general. We've always adopted more of a Dr. Sears/attachment parenting style, but I found the convenience of the schedule of the Baby Wise approach appealing. The only problem is I've never had the grit to let my baby "cry it out" for a half hour or more.

So when I was offered the opportunity to read and review MomSense: A Common-Sense Guide to Confident Mothering, I jumped at it. This sounded exactly like what I needed! Check out what the book's back cover has to say:

"Do blogs, books, magazines, and well-meaning women in your life have you questioning your mothering intuition? Jean Blacker is here to tell you that you are the best mom for your children--and you have what it takes to raise them.

With personal stories from real moms and proven, practical advice, MomSense helps you honestly assess your skills, embrace your mothering instincts, and develop your own unique mothering style. Rather than pushing one 'right' way to be a mom, this hope-filled book shows you that you can have contentment, joy, and confidence in your role as Mom."

Right off the bat, this is a unique book. First, it's the first book I've ever read that is printed in blue ink! Beyond that, like the back cover states, it's not advocating a specific parenting style ("do-it-this-way-or- else") but it encourages moms to take an honest look at one's own particular style and become more confident in our MomSense.

What exactly is "MomSense"? Author Jean Blackmer, who is herself the mother of three sons and the publishing manager at MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) International defines it as "Mom intuition plus common sense." The good news is--even if you don't have very much mommy training starting out (or much common sense!), you can learn new skills and improve your MomSense everyday throughout your parenting journey. (And, by the way, in case you ever feel like mothering leaves you somewhat scatter-brained, Jean points out that "a woman's brain begins functioning at new levels once she becomes a mom." So, even if you're fumbling around in your purse, trying to find your keys, while your kids are begging for quarters for the gumball machine at the grocery store, and the bagger is just waiting on you so he can help you unload your groceries in your car, your MomSense is off the charts!)

After introducing the idea of MomSense and sharing encouragement for growth in our skills as mothers, Jean explores how our mothering is shaped by our own mothers, both positively and negatively. This chapter provided an opportunity for reflection. You've probably found in your own life, that no matter how many times you used to say, "I'll never do that as a mom!", you find yourself doing those very things now that you are a mom. Through reading this chapter (and the reflection questions at the end), I identified some areas where I can work intentionally to improve my MomSense.

The next chapter focuses on decision making. "Life is jam-packed with decisions. How does a person make decisions and live without regret?" You'll find answers here, in this immensely helpful chapter. It offers great advice for trusting your own intuition more fully and making confident decisions. For those like me, who tend to be indecisive and seek out tons of information before making a decision and then second-guess decisions to no end, this chapter was a real confidence booster.

Speaking of decisions, one of the most important choices a mom can make is in regards to the attitude of her spirit. With "practical tips and tools," Jean addresses several areas that are crucial for successful mothering. These are listed and explained as:

Sense of Patience: Intentionally practicing patience: the ability to endure waiting, delay or provacation without becoming annoyed or upset
Sense of Respect. Modeling and teaching the Golden Rule: do unto others are you would have them do unto you.
Sense of Consistency. Becoming the reliable, faithful mom your children need.
Sense of Perspective. Avoiding the nonsense and focusing on what matters most/
Sense of Self-Control. Practicing and modeling self-discipline in a self-indulgent world
Sense of Calm. Remaining composed in the chaos and creating a peaceful home.
Sense of Joy. Maintaining a sense of humor and creating a joyful atmosphere in the home.
Sense of Love. Building a sensible mothering philosophy grounded in unconditional love.

The above sections are rich not only with encouragement, but also with practical areas where we can all improve our MomSense.

Finally, Jean shares helpful advice for dealing with some of the common challenges of motherhood, such as handling tantrums in public, potty-training, dealing with sibling rivalry, handling advice from in-laws, and more.

Because motherhood is not one-size-fits-all, you won't find that kind of an approach in this book. What you will find, however, is plenty of grace, encouragement, and practical tips to help you become the best mom for your kids. You'll learn how to make decisions in their (and your) best interest, and how to feel confident about them.

Especially because mothering boys can present unique challenges for us moms (since they are so different from us!), I wanted to ask Jean for any tips on becoming more confident in raising sons.

Here's what she had to say:

"First, it's an important step to realize and accept that you are a girl and raising boys can be challenging, they are definitely different than girls.

My advice to help moms grow in their MomSense (and confidence) in raising boys is to rely on things you know, your common sense, such as boys typically are more physical, greater risk takers and louder than girls. And often boys are attracted to things such as video games, balls, trucks and guns. But, it is common sense that even though a boy is more physical it's not okay to hurt someone else, or boys are louder doesn't mean it's okay to be loud all the time, or it's okay to allow your boys to take risks just teach them safety skills too (A book came across my desk called "50 dangerous things every boy should do" or something like that :)., or just because a boy is attracted to video games doesn't mean it's good for him to play endless hours etc.

Then use your mom intuition. You know your boy better than anyone else. If you know what makes him tick you can help him grow in those passions and direct his - what girls might feel are negatives - his boyishness - into positives. For example, a boy that is super physical would probably really enjoy contact sports and needs to get outside every day and release that energy. If you know your son gets a thrill from taking risks help him find some fun and safe ways to experience the adventures he craves. (Husbands are often good sources for this.) Be intentional about really observing your son and getting to know him, be his biggest cheerleader, and trust your intuition in your mothering of him, over time you will become more confident. At times you still will feel at a loss for understanding your boys so I really encourage communication with other moms of sons and glean wisdom from each other, keep a sense of humor, and enjoy your boys and the passion, energy and adventure they bring to your life!"

In conclusion, MomSense: A Common-Sense Guide to Confident Motheringtruly helped me to not only make a decision regarding our parenting style and newborn scheduling, but encouraged me to grow in my confidence as a mom and in the decisions I make for our family. I heartily recommend this book.

And...you can win a copy, courtesy of MOPS. Just leave a comment on this post. I'd love to hear what one area you'd specifically like to become more confident in, in regard to motherhood (but you don't have to share that). I'll post a winner on Monday. (Please be sure to leave your email in the contact. Shipping to US residents only, please).

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book to review and one to give away.

Menu Plan Monday & After school Snack Ideas

2011-11-13T20:25:00.001-07:00

This week, I am trying to plan again from what I have on hand in the freezer/frig and cupboards. I will make a trip to the store to pick up some fresh vegetables and fruit to round out the meals and for snacks. To save on produce, I usually try to shop for fruits and vegetables that are .99 cents per pound (or as close to that as possible). (You can read more about that in this post.)

Apples are in season and on sale for .88 cents per pound right now. Lots of ideas there: applesauce, apple crisp/pie, apple slices of course, baked apples, applesauce bread, apple cake or coffee cake...

Scroll down if you're looking for new after school snack ideas.

Breakfasts:

Overnight caramel rolls
Oatmeal, bananas
Oven baked omelet, toast, grapefruit
French breakfast puffs, Greek yogurt, granola and honey
Cold cereal/granola, bananas
Hot cereal (Cream of Wheat, Coco Wheats), orange juice
Pancakes

Lunches:

Stromboli, veggie tray
Leftovers
Beefy biscuit casserole (carry over), corn, apple slices
Sandwiches, carrot and celery sticks
Cheesy beef and rice, green beans, bread and butter
Saturday: leftover pizza and snacks

Dinners:

Beef tips over noodles, salad, rolls, apple pie
Cranberry chicken, rice, broccoli
Hamburgers, fries, tossed salad, jello, maybe chocolate cake for dessert
Pork roast, acorn squash, Normandy blend vegetables (cauliflower, broccoli, carrots, yellow squash)
Homemade Pizza night
Beef stroganoff, green beans
Roast chicken, butternut squash with butter and brown sugar, brussel sprouts

I would also like to share some great, healthy ideas for after school/late afternoon snacks.

Peanut butter baked oatmeal (tastes like a soft granola)--my kids eat the entire 9x13 pan in a few hours
Lazy Granola
Cranberry-apricot granola bars (using homemade granola recipe above)
Apricot-oatmeal cookies
Applesauce bread (could also do in a bundt pan) (make your own applesauce using all the yummy apples in season and on sale now!)
Ranger cookies (whole wheat flour, coconut, Craisins, oats)
Hard-boiled eggs
Ants-on-a-log (or celery with strawberry cream cheese)
Graham crackers with strawberry cream cheese
Fruit slices with or without dip
Veggies and dip
Wholegrain Crackers and cheese
Almonds/walnuts/pistachios (for children old enough), apple slices, cheese cubes
Whole-grain muffins, plus lots of other ideas in this post

What are some of your favorite after school snacks?

Be sure to visit Menu Plan Monday at orgjunkie.com for more menu planning ideas!

The Love Languages of Our Children

2011-11-12T20:20:00.000-07:00

Does your child know how much you love him? Probably yes, but he'll know it best if you express it in the language of love he understands--his unique love language.

You've probably heard of the book called The 5 Love Languages of Children. In it, author Gary Chapman outlines the

five universal love languages:

quality time
words of affirmation
gifts
acts of service
touch (hugs, cuddling, holding hands)

The book's back cover explains that "every child (like every adult) expresses and receives love best through one of [these] five communication styles. If your love language is different from your children's, you'd better learn to translate fast. Or you could miss your chance to meet their deepest emotional needs."

I find this to be so true in my own life. One of my boys, in particular, has been acting up quite a bit lately. But when someone does something one-on-one with him, he is such a happy boy, and so helpful. He will then obey any request, quickly and with a pleasant spirit. Could it be because he feels a special fellowship from his love language (quality time) being met?

What I realize is that this child needs a little more one-on-one time, instead of always corporate time, where he's one out of four children. He needs focused attention to feel loved.

Maybe we can all take some time on Sunday to think through our children's love languages and find at least one practical way this week to express love in the language they best understand. As an added bonus, my guess is they'll behave a bit better, too.

Yummy, Delicious Homemade Hot Chocolate

2011-11-11T14:11:00.001-07:00

photo credit

In the movie Chocolat, I was enraptured (ok, maybe that's too strong of a word to use there, but how often do you really get to use it?) as I watched Juliette Binoche prepare a cup of hot chocolate. I remember thinking, "That must taste really good."

Well, I've found a recipe that tastes like I imagined that cup of hot "chocolat" would.

It's simple, frugal, and oh so yummy. Way more delicious than a packet of Swiss Miss (and healthier, too). Did you know unsweetened cocoa contains healthy antioxidants?

Here's the recipe (straight off the side of the Hershey's Baking Cocoa Natural Unsweetened, 8oz Can)

Favorite Hot Cocoa
1/2 c. sugar
1/4 c. cocoa
dash salt
1/3 c. hot water
4 cups milk
3/4 tsp. vanilla extract

Mix sugar, cocoa, and salt in saucepan; stir in water. Cook and stir over medium heat until mixture boils; boil and stir 2 minutes. Stir in milk and heat. DO NOT BOIL. Remove from heat, add vanilla.

I see they also have dark chocolate too. The can looks like this:

I think this would be delicious with homemade whipped cream and some chocolate shavings on top!

(linked to Frugal Friday)

Men Should Not Send Women to Buy Mouse Traps

2011-11-10T07:18:00.000-07:00

On the way out the door to Wal-Mart, I asked my husband if there was anything he wanted me to pick up for him. "Yeah, mouse traps," he said. "And if there's a difference between the cheap ones and the more expensive ones, go with the more expensive ones." Ok. Buying mouse traps can't be too hard, right? Wrong.

Standing in the aisle looking at all the different ways to kill mice, I was overwhelmed. The pictures got me. Little mice laying upside down, gagging. Definitely not buying that one. Poor little mouse. Then it hit me--I was about to murder a mouse! Although I have no problem swatting flies (and find it strangely gratifying-- kidding), I suddenly had a conscience problem selecting a mouse trap. Here's where packaging definitely matters.

Check out this picture.

Doesn't that just tug at your heart? Even a little? To know you're the person buying this trap to do that to a mouse is a terrible feeling--even though the mouse did get into my bag of wheat. Revenge aside, I couldn't do it.

But in the end, I did. The covered lid convinced me. I wouldn't have to see the poor creature. What you don't know you can justify.

Once I got home, I read the reviews on Amazon. It sounds like the traps I bought don't really work that well anyway. My conscience feels better. But that doesn't solve the problem of the mice in the garage...

To get the job done right, I am sending my husband to buy the traps. It is, after all, a man's job.

Silence is a Mom's Worst Nightmare

2011-11-09T07:28:00.000-07:00

When my boys are home, silence is a terrible thing. It means destruction lurks behind the corner, devastation looms downstairs, and doom is inevitable upstairs. Free will in the house comes with a messy price.

Just a few days ago, while working on reading with my 6-year old, my other two sons and partners-in-crime, ages 4 and 3, traveled downstairs. I thought they were happily playing--it is, after all, the playroom; yet it was quiet. Too quiet. And that's never a good sign.

What I found was surprising. And infuriating. They had pumped out all the liquid soap in the bathroom, plus all the lotion from my Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy Orange Ginger Energy Body Lotion and my Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy Lavender Vanilla "Sleep" Body Lotion (which aren't cheap) and apparently decided their toys--including their LeapFrog Read and Sing Little Leap needed a massage.

The aromatherapy from the orange ginger lotion must have worked: they had plenty of energy. Unfortunately, the lavendar vanilla scent did not seem to calm me.

After a discussion about why we don't smear soap and lotion all over our toys, I thought we had checked that category of mischief off the list. Wrong. It morphed into a fascination with aerosol cans.

When I went upstairs after they were taking too long for a potty trip, I discovered that they started spraying Lysol on toys (not terrible I suppose, as we approach flu season), and in the toilet. Steady streams of toothpaste squeezed out in the toilet look like blue poo. And my makeup? Well, let's not even go there.

How do we keep our kids out of mischief? I'm not sure. But I'll tell you one thing--listen for the silence. Then proceed immediately and with caution, calming yourself in advance for what you're likely to find.

Motherhood and the Maple Tree

2011-11-08T06:55:00.001-07:00

photo credit

Motherhood is like a maple tree. Numerous demands on our time and attention tap our sweet syrup. Our love pours out into little lives (and not-so-little lives), filling their buckets. But sometimes, we find our sap is slowing to a trickle.

This trend of needing at times, to intentionally choose to show love is common to all moms. So common, in fact, that the Bible addresses it. In Paul's letter to Titus , he encourages older women to train the younger women to love their husbands and their children? Doesn't that just come naturally? Why would anyone need to be trained in it?

I think I have a clue...

The Greek word for "love" in that text is "phileo," which is the friendship type of love. After the initial "I'm-so-in-love-with-you" feelings wear off (for either our husbands or our newborns, but I'll focus on our kids in this post), we could use help to keep on loving our children in the friendship sort of way. They can annoy us, disobey us, test our patience, and sometimes just plain drive us nuts. We love them unconditionally for life, but at times, we need training and encouragement to continue to like them, to love them in a friendship sort of way. (See this post for raising our kids so we like them). We still need to tap our sweet syrup into their lives in a cheerful way.

I love what Jean Blackmer has to say on this topic:

"It's easier to love our children unconditionally when they are newborns. Nothing compares to that experience. And thank God he lets us experience that type of love for our babies--so that when they're toddlers throwing a temper tantrum at the park, we remember how much we love them, even though we might not feel it right at that moment...
As time passes, we forget those days of snuggling with our baby. We forget the smell of the lotion we slather on their bodies. And we don't always feel love. Sometimes love becomes a choice. We choose to love even when we don't feel like it, and this choice will be easier if we practice loving intentionally." -- Jean Blackmer, MomSense: A Common-Sense Guide to Confident Mothering

So when we find this type of love for our children needs to be poured out in a little higher concentration in our lives, where can we turn to find this practical help?

Our relationship with the Lord. Insight through Scripture, prayer and the Holy Spirit
Older moms whom we admire
Peer moms who can share what they're learning, what's helping them
Inspirational books and articles on motherhood (I love aboverubies.org and the free Above Rubies newsletter, as well as Nancy Campbell's book The Power of Motherhood: What the Bible Says About Mothers)
Teaching resources (audio messages on motherhood, etc.)
Blog posts from Christian ministry leaders and others with a passionate heart toward mothering (I find so much encouragement at itakejoy.com)

In conclusion, choosing to love our kids in a friendly way does sometimes take a little intentionality. When they're pestering us with the same request for the 20th time in a day, or they're disobeying or otherwise irritating us, we're not allowed to just turn a cold shoulder, to shove the lid on our syrup bucket, and say, in essence, "No more kind love for you today." We need to train ourselves to love them in a friendly-sort-of way still.

Some posts I've loved lately are:

(linked up with Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers)

How The Time Change Helps My Home Management

2011-11-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

Even with an extra hour, we still managed to be a few minutes late to church this morning. How's that for a laugh?

Overall, though, I really enjoy the first few days of the time change.

Here's why:

It lends me a helping hand. You can read more here:
http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/2009/11/daylight-savings-time-lends-me-helping.html

Now, just to figure out my baby's new schedule...

Menu Plan Monday

2011-11-06T21:29:00.001-07:00

This weekend, I browsed through a copy of Colorado Colore: A Palate of Tastes (Celebrating Twenty Five Years of Culinary Artistry)

What a fabulous cookbook! Many creative and gourmet ideas (plus some easier fare). This, like the other Colorado cookbooks put out by the Junior League of Denver (Colorado Cache Cookbook, Creme De Colorado Cookbook (Celebrating Twenty Five Years of Culinary Artistry) and Colorado Collagefeature truly unique recipes.

Here's a few from Colorado Colore that I'll be making this week:
Curry pumpkin soup
Balsamic glazed beets (with maple syrup)
Rosemary Chicken in herb vinaigrette
Twice-baked acorn squash
Fruited cranberry scones

Here's what else is on the menu. (Oh, and did I mention I'm going to try to do it all from my freezer and pantry this week).

Breakfasts:

Apple Oatmeal (cooked with diced apples, in apple juice)
Pumpkin waffles, milk
Scrambled eggs, toast
Granola/cereal, juice
Cranberry scones, Greek yogurt with honey and granola
Whole wheat pancakes with chokecherry syrup

Lunches:

Curry pumpkin soup, french rolls
Ravioli with spaghetti sauce, salad
Minestrone, crackers
Stir fry over rice
Chicken salad sandwiches, apple slices
Leftovers

Dinners:

Beef stew from leftover Sunday roast, applesauce, homemade (?) wheat bread (depending on how the day goes)
Lemon pepper pork roast, balsamic glazed beets, mashed potatoes, leafy green salad
Beef stroganoff, green beans, fruit of some sort (peaches?)
Rosemary chicken in herb vinaigrette, twice-baked acorn squash, apple pie (again, on an ideal day)
Waikiki meatballs over rice, broccoli, grapes (didn't happen last week)
Cranberry chicken, rice, asparagus
Tilapia, sweet potato fries, mixed vegetables (another carry-over)

I would love to do some baking this week. Plus, we have some company coming. I would love to hear how you handle making extra dishes for company. Do you do it all (or most of it) ahead of their arrival? I think that would probably work best. Now, just to get around to it...

Visit Menu Plan Monday at orgjunkie.com for more menu ideas!

Craving Spiritual Milk

2011-11-05T11:48:00.000-06:00

Whenever I have a nursing infant, this verse takes on new meaning to me:

"Like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation." (1 Peter 2:2, NASB).

Newborns need to nurse every few hours, for about 15-20 minutes at a time. You cannot feed your baby once in the morning for 10 minutes and call it good for the rest of the day. The feedings need to be continuous throughout the day so that the infant is receiving the nourishment she needs. A fed baby is a content baby. A hungry baby is miserable and lets everyone know it through her cries.

Also, babies need to be fed milk. Breastmilk is certainly the purest form, but formula meets the need as well. You cannot put water in a bottle, or tea, or chocolate milk, or any number of "substitutes." To nourish a baby, you must provide pure milk.

And why do babies need to be fed? Not only for meeting current needs for sustenance but also for promoting growth.

So what do I take away from this?

1. Just like a newborn needs frequent feedings throughout the day, we, too, need continuous nourishment in the Word of God. A baby feeds for several minutes at a time. Before a feeding, the baby may get a bit fussy. After the feeding, the baby is happy and peaceful. After our feeding in the Word, we should feel peaceful and content as well. Without this feeding, we may become increasingly miserable, even if our cries are not expressed as vocally as a newborn. (We may make those around us miserable as well).

2. "Long for the pure milk of the word."
How often do we seek to feed ourselves with something other than the "pure milk of the word"? I have no problem taking frequent feedings throughout the day on things other than the word. Every few hours, for a pick-me-up, I'll run over to my laptop and check what's going on in the Internet. I'll seek a dose of encouragement through an inspiring blog, I'll check what friends are up to on Facebook. But do I long to feed myself first with the pure milk of the word? To be honest, after I've "fed" myself in the morning, I think that feeding can last me all day, and I substitute other things for feedings the rest of the day. This is as silly as feeding a newborn a bottle of water and expecting it to meet her needs.

This week, let's challenge ourselves to nourish ourselves with the pure milk of the Word. Let's see if we become more content as we feed our bodies and spirits every few hours what they truly need. This is not meant to be a legalistic "read-your-Bible-every-three-hours-or-else" rule, but rather a principle for our good.

And if you don't know where to start, you could begin with the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke or John) and read about Jesus' life. You could start reading Proverbs for wisdom, or the Psalms for encouragement. Or you could just start at the beginning (Genesis) and work your way through. Or you could read a chapter from the Gospels in the morning, a Proverb a few hours later, a Psalm a few hours later, maybe a letter from Paul after that (Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, etc).

So when you start feeling like you're running low, just like a newborn starts to feel like it's time for another feeding, let's give ourselves a good healthy dose of that pure spiritual milk of the word.

Why You Need a Friend

2011-11-04T14:30:00.000-06:00

I commited to blog every day for the next 30 days with BlogHer's NaBloPoMo challenge.
Whew!

Everyday, I have ideas of what I want to write about. Everyday, I can't seem to find the time to sit down and write as thoroughly as I'd like to. So I don't. I wait until I can say it all, the way I want to say it. (Sometimes, I need to process my thoughts, too. Like this week, I'm thinking through big things--adversity and motherhood, handling challenges, not feeling depressed. Through God's grace and mercy, I'm reaching conclusions. I'll share them with you...soon).

But, for the next 30 days, I will not let my hesitancy to post until I'm ready to write it well hold me back.

So off the top of my head, today I just want to say:

You need a friend.

Blogs are great and a wonderful source of encouragement. But what I'm realizing lately is you need a real-life friend--someone you can call in the middle of the afternoon and say, "I'm having a really bad day, wanna take the kids to the park?" Or, "I'm about to lose it. Can we meet at the park?" Or, "I need to get out of the house for a bit. Wanna go to McDonald's play land?"

Friends help us keep our sanity when our husbands are still at work. Friends help lift our spirits. Friends encourage us simply by sharing that they're struggling with the same things we are. Friends inspire us by sharing what's working for them. Friends give us new ideas. Friends even order pizza for us, when they know our mother-in-law is coming and we need a crash-cleaning day.

Friends are a blessing. Celebrate the ones you have. Pray for a good one if you need one now.

Why I'm Loving Skirts

2011-11-03T22:31:00.000-06:00

The post-baby belly prompted my aversion to pants. No thanks, buttons-that-don't-button because you're on fabric that's two sizes too small. My children and I all love muffin tops, but not on Mama. Goodbye, pants. Hello skirts!

Skirts (particularly long skirts) are not only pretty and feminine; they're also incredibly comfortable, making them the perfect postpartum piece. No zippers (generally). They lay nicely, draping modestly from the hips, rather than following the outline of all the curves. It may be my imagination, but I feel like men treat me more like a lady (opening doors and minding their manners) when I'm wearing a long skirt. It's as if femininity brings out gentlemanly behavior.

To find out what skirts are most fashionable for fall, I contacted Shari Braendel, considered America's leading Christian fashion expert and author of the new book, Good Girls Don't Have to Dress Bad: A Style Guide for Every Woman

Here's what she had to say:

"Hi Cheryl, the trendiest skirts for fall are longer in length and have some fullness to them...a little flair. Old Navy is showing them in their new arrivals for fall. Short and straight is not in...it's longer and full with some flair...most body types can wear them....wear with boots."

[and more info sent from Shari, found on MSN.com:]

Midi-Skirts

"Lazy Girl's easy approach to fashion requires lots of well-tailored pieces that are easy to mix and match. Thankfully, fall's new hemline, the "midi" length (which hits anywhere between the bottom of the knee and mid-shin) flatters most figures and makes finding work-appropriate outfits a no-brainer. When looking for these low-dipping hemlines, pick a darker hue, like [a] black Brioni pencil skirt, to help elongate legs, and always opt for a heel to enhance the appearance of toned calves."

*picture from Old Navy (Jersey maxi skirts)

I also like some of the women's skirts at modestmom.com, particularly the Nantucket Denim Long skirt. I contacted her to see if she would be willing to do a skirt giveaway or sale in exchange for featuring her products, but she declined.

To make fall fashion more frugal, I always love to shop nice-quality thrift-stores first (if you have a few minutes). I found a few great black knit skirts, very similar to the Old Navy Jersey maxi skirt, for a few dollars, rather than a few twenties. One of the best ways to increase your income is not necessarily to earn more, but to stretch what you do have further.

Fashion meets faith, and frugality!

(linked to Frugal Friday)

Catching Up When You're Behind

2011-10-31T09:44:00.000-06:00

In this season of life, I am falling behind with housekeeping. Not that I want to, it's just too busy right now to stay on top of it all. However, with company (my mother-in-law and sister-in-law) coming to visit, I knew last week I had to get real busy, fast. (Plus, my mother-in-law is super, super neat. She's admitted her standard is very high). Talk about pressure.

Some things that helped me get caught up:

Teamwork (taking a night to work with my husband; having the kids help pick up, too)
A friend offering to watch the kids for a few hours, so I could have some focused work time (my now 3-year old stayed with me, and I gave him a microfiber cloth and a bottle of Basic-H spray, which is non-toxic, and he helped me spray and wipe. "There's a spot, Mommy! There's some spots!..." Yes, lots of spots.)
Simple meals and clean-up (time for paper plates!) (A friend who knew my predicament ordered pizza for us one day so that I wouldn't have to make lunch. Bless her!)
Focusing on two rooms to clean well, instead of picking around in multiple rooms and continuing to feel overwhelmed at the lack of overall, measurable progress. After two rooms were cleaned quite well (kitchen and living room), I chose to do the best I could with the time I had left in the rest of the rooms

After all that, ultimately, I just had to humble myself. The house was as good as it was going to be. At that point, I needed to loosen up and let people in anyway--focus on enjoying their company, rather than feeling anxious that it wasn't up to my erroneous pre-conceived notions of people's reactions.

I think we judge ourselves and others' expectations more harshly than what the reality is. I was expecting to feel embarrassed. Yet, I was wrong. I was putting undo pressure on myself. Family and friends understand we can't do it all, and they don't expect us to. People are often much more merciful (and willing to help) than we think they may be.

Now that things are somewhat caught up, it takes discipline to keep them that way. Put things away where they belong right away. Keep pickup routines in place. Stay caught up on the laundry. Stay off the computer!

Menu Plan Monday

2011-10-30T22:15:00.001-06:00

It's always fun to take some time and flip through the assorted recipes I've clipped from magazines through the years. (I keep mine in a large flip-style photo album, with three slots per page, like for 4x6 pictures. Then you can buy index tabs and create categories). So some of the recipes this week come from ideas I came across while flipping through my collection (it seems like you can find lots of lost recipes on cooks.com). Others come from the latest issue of Simple and Delicious magazine. And others are simply old favorites.

Breakfast:

Oatmeal with coconut flakes and Craisins
Apple Butter muffins (Better Homes and Gardens, 1990--an oldie! Found pretty much the same recipe at cooks.com, and that is what I'm linking to)
Spinach and feta cheese omelets (lightly saute spinach in butter or olive oil, with a little onion if desired. Prepare omelets filled with the spinach and some feta cheese).
Greek yogurt with flaxseed, berries, granola
Cream of wheat, oranges
Whole wheat pancakes, orange juice

*A great list of new, heart healthy breakfast ideas can be found here.) (The recipes are on the right side of the page)

Lunches:

Stovetop Italian Macaroni, rolls
Garden Tuna Pitas, carrot and celery sticks
leftovers
Cheesy Beef and Rice, peas
Harvest squash and apple soup (another Better Homes and Gardens 1990 find, but this recipe looks about the same), bread and butter
Beefed-up biscuit casserole, fruit/veggie, jello
Doesn't this one look yummy to try maybe next week (or when pork tenderloins are on sale?)

Dinners:

Leftover manicotti
Pork Roast, Autumn salad, butternut squash, possibly brussel sprouts in butter sauce and possibly apple-walnut crisp
Waikiki meatballs over rice, grapes, steamed broccoli
Spaghetti, caesar salad, garlic parmesan bread
Taco night
Homemade pizza night (using my Toastmaster Bread and Butter Maker with the recipe from Toastmaster Corner Bakery Cook Book
Parmesan tilapia, sweet potato fries (have you tried these yet? I sampled the Ore Ida brand at Sam's and they were yummy!), salad

See more menu ideas at Menu Plan Monday!

Late for Pickup

2011-10-26T22:58:00.000-06:00

Motherhood is full of so many delightful firsts: first smiles, first words, first steps. Then there are the not-so-pleasant firsts: the first time you lose your temper, the first time you make a mistake, the first time you're late to pick up your kids.

That happened to me today. And I felt terrible.

It was AWANA night at church. Not having been out of the house all week, I was feeling a little stir-crazy and was excited to drop off the boys, leave the little ones behind with Daddy, and head to the store for some shopping and sanity. Before I left the house, I made sure to find my watch and put it on so that I wouldn't be wandering around in Walmart (the Mom getaway) long past pickup time.

As I browsed and picked up a birthday present and some items on my grocery list, I kept checking my watch to make sure I wasn't running late. I checked out with 15-20 minutes to spare before pickup time, which presented a dilemma: arrive early and visit with whichever friends happened to be there early as well, or make a quick run without kids to Walgreens, which was on the way. The running-in-without kids sounded really appealing and won over.

Big mistake. By the time I had found the five packages of toilet paper I was buying, the two dish soaps, the two Cover Girl concealers (which were .49 cents each after coupons), and checked out with my coupons, I was already a few minutes late for pickup. Right then, this whole trip just seemed silly. So I was getting a great deal on the t.p. and the dish soap, but really? My kids are so much more important to me than my Charmin and Cover Girl.

Since I don't have a cell phone, there was no one I could call to say I was on my way. It seems like when you're in a hurry, you always get behind the slowest driver in the world, and this night was no exception.

Finally, I arrived at church...25 minutes after they are supposed to be picked up. I thought that surely there would still be some kids and moms there. But no, it was just the AWANA commander and my boys, one in tears, because all the other kids had long since been picked up and taken home and yet their mommy wasn't there. He said he thought he was going to "have to stay at church for a long, long time."

I could have told him the Bible story of Hannah and Samuel, how she left her son with Eli in the temple for ever, but I didn't. :)

Lesson learned: errands always take longer than anticipated. If you think you can squeeze in just one more itty bitty thing before x, y, or z, you probably can't. Err on the side of caution if it matters to you to not be late. (The plus side is I am stocked up on toilet paper for a good long while, though). ;)

It Was Just a Test

2011-10-25T21:41:00.000-06:00

I awoke this morning to blaring sirens. The emergency alarms in our city were sounding over and over again. I jumped out of bed, complete with nursing infant in my arms (no longer nursing), and rushed over to the door of our upstairs master bedroom so I could hear the announcement following the sirens.

"Take cover immediately. A tornado warning has been issued. Take cover immediately," urged the robotic voice of the pre-recorded siren message.

But it was snowing softly...

Maybe there was warm air high above?

Thoroughly puzzled, I booked it downstairs, where my husband had fallen asleep in our boys' bedroom, after he had gone down to help them in the middle of the night, since they are sick. We were all awake and confused. Ready for the tornado--the kids in their warm footy jammies, me in my fleece bathrobe, the baby in her nightie, and my husband in his...well...Hanes.

Turns out the morning news host was confused, as well. When we finally fumbled around and found: 1) an alarm clock downstairs, and 2) the proper radio station, the host was saying he thought it must be a glitch.
My husband thought the emergency management coordinator hit the wrong button on his alarm clock this morning: "tornado warning siren", instead of "snooze."

What a way to wake up on a rainy, 39-degree morning, otherwise perfect for staying under the covers for a few extra minutes.

The benefit of the glitchy sirens is they roused me from my bed, bright and early (ok, at 7:00). But that's better than staying in bed until almost 8:00. I got up and got going, just like in the pre-4th-baby days. Despite our nudgings, the sick kids chose not to go back to sleep and woke up, too.

Having everyone up early worked out great. I have to say that using that 7-8:00 hour sure made the day more productive. It ran more smoothly from the get-go.

Even if there isn't a tornado warning tomorrow morning, I think I'll get up and get moving as if there is.

Tips for Organizing Kid's Toys and the House

2011-10-24T14:34:00.002-06:00

I could open a toy store with the sheer volume and assortment of toys we have for our boys. But to them, the toy store is boring. No matter how many they have, they seem to only play with a few favorites, leaving the rest to clutter up the basement floor/play room. Should I pack up all the toys and donate them to charity?

While that is certainly one option, there is another way, which rotates the toy selection and keeps things fresh and exciting. Zesty.

Buy some Bankers Boxes and fill them with toys. (The best price I found was at Sam's Club: 10 for $18; Office Max was four for $18.) They look like this:

You could box toys according to category, such as monster trucks and bulldozers in one, Little People in another, electronic toys (like Buzz Lightyear in another. Or, the option that my husband thought would be best would be to just box up an assortment of toys, so there are multiple choices to play with when that box is opened.

Here's how the system works and the rotation comes in:

I read in an Emilie Barnes' book once (I think it was More Hours in My Day: Proven Ways to Organize Your Home, Your Family, and Yourself) that to organize your home, you box up all unused items in the banker's boxes (they are recommended because they stack well and are durable). Number each box. Then, on a rolodex, list each box number on a card and record on that card what is inside. For example, if you are looking for the box with the Transformer toys, or the Christmas decorations, you can easily flip through the cards and find what number box the item is in. (It would probably make most sense to file the box number for Christmas decorations under the "C's").

Setting up this system certainly takes some time, but I believe (and I come to believe more and more with the more children I have!) that the rewards are worth it. I remember reading in The Duggars: 20 and Counting!: Raising One of America's Largest Families--How they Do Itthat this is the system Michelle Duggar went with after she had her fifth child. She wrote that she either had to do something or she was going to go under. That's where I'm at now, with four kids!

Getting back to how this works with toys, simply rotate the selection once every few days or once every week, at your choosing. This way you ensure the toys you've purchased with your hard-earned money are played with more than once. It also helps keep the kids from getting bored with the same toys. Mostly, it helps keep the toy clutter under control, since there can only be one boxful of items out at any one time.
(And if you want to donate a box or two to charity, that's fine too!).

(linked to Works for Me Wednesday)

Menu Plan Monday

2011-10-23T22:21:00.004-06:00

If you compare this week's menu to last week's, you'll see a few repeats. That doesn't mean we're eating the same thing again, but rather, we didn't get to it last week, so we'll see if it happens this week instead!

Breakfasts:

Oatmeal with brown sugar, raisins, walnuts and dates; bananas
Pumpkin waffles (such a great source of B vitamins and yummy!), milk
Swedish pancakes (like crepes), cottage cheese, raspberries
Pumpkin-chocolate chip muffins, yogurt
Coco-wheats with a spoonful of peanut butter stirred in (kids' favorite), orange juice
Whole-wheat pancakes (I grind my own wheat using a Nutrimill Home Grain Mill), orange juice

Lunches:

Cheese quesadillas, tomato soup
Broccoli-cheese quiche (except I make mine altogether in a pie plate, with a pie crust), mandarin oranges
Beef stroganoff (from dinner leftovers, over rice or noodles, depending on how many noodles are left after dinner)
Sandwiches, carrot and celery sticks
Goulash, biscuits
Dinner leftovers

Dinners:

Parmesan pork chops, scalloped potatoes, peas
Beef tips over noodles, applesauce, green beans
Chili, cornbread, peaches
Leftovers
Pork Roast, butternut squash with butter and brown sugar, brussel sprouts
Homemade pizza night (really easy actually--I make my own dough in my bread machine on the dough cycle, using a recipe in Toastmaster Corner Bakery Cook Book. We received the Toastmaster Bread and Butter Maker as a wedding gift, and I love it! I actually think it was one of the best gifts we received. You can do so much with it.
Manicotti (less expensive to use cottage cheese than ricotta), spinach and mixed green salad, garlic bread

Visit Menu Plan Monday, hosted at orgjunkie.com, for more menu planning ideas!

Embracing The Season

2011-10-19T20:06:00.000-06:00

Photo credit

Like all of life, motherhood is made up of countless seasons that follow each other with change, just as in nature. There's the adjusting-to-life-with-your-first-baby season. Remember that one? What an adjustment it was! Then, after the seasons of smiling and crawling, walking, and talking, there was perhaps the season of adjusting to life with two. And more seasons followed.

The season I'm in right now, with four kids six and under and homeschooling one, is not terribly productive in terms of accomplishing lots of noticeable work. Dishes are always piled in the sink. I can get them done, but then a new batch comes in, and you'd never notice--unless you had an inventory list--that I really had washed, dried, and put away a previous batch. The laundry is getting washed, but being put away? Full laundry baskets all over my house testify that the clothes aren't making into the drawers and closets. Many days, my nearly three-year old is still in his jammies at 10 o'clock in the morning (and sometimes his older brother, too). Much to my chagrin, PBS cartoons educate the kids first thing in the morning, while I nurse my newborn upstairs. (At least they're educational!)

I can either feel like a failure for all the things that aren't getting done each day, or I can embrace the season I'm in right now. With joy. See, I realized--after too many days of feeling depressed and beating myself up for how miserably I was falling behind--that this is just a season. This is what the season of being a stay-at-home mom, with four under six (including a newborn), and homeschooling looks like. Do I want to look back on it down the road, when I'm in a different season, and regret how I felt defeated and discouraged each day? How I just wanted to hurry up and get to a more productive season? Or, do I want to look back with no regrets--remembering instead, that even though it may have looked unproductive according to measurable standards, we had joy. We lived each day to its fullest. I didn't try to change the way it was. I changed me instead.

That's what I want. A transformed heart that recognizes I can't do it all. So the dishes and laundry can stack up during this season, just as long as I am cheerfully loving my husband and children and making memories that I can look back on and cherish--not regret.

How about you? What season do you find yourself in now? How can you find more joy in it? What tips have you found to help you embrace it fully?

Menu Plan Monday

2011-10-16T22:51:00.001-06:00

I love the weeks when you have most everything you need to execute the menu plan already at home, in your pantry and in your freezer. This is one of those weeks for me, making it fairly frugal and relatively easy to pull off.

Monday:
Oatmeal, brown sugar, bananas, orange juice
Ham and cheese sandwiches, apples, milk
Skillet Ziti with chicken and broccoli, garlic parmesan bread (Walmart bakery), salad

Tuesday:
Fried eggs, toast, juice
Chicken stir-fry over rice
Enchiladas, corn, tossed salad

Wednesday:
Granola with milk or yogurt, triple berry blend (frozen from Sam's Club)
Broccoli-cheese quiche, mandarin oranges
Leftovers

Thursday:
Scrambled eggs, toast
Chili, cornbread (grinding my own cornmeal from popcorn kernels), peaches
Riso alla Pitocca (chicken thighs on sale for .99 cents/pound), biscuits

Friday:
Cream of wheat or Coco-Wheats, juice
Pasta Fagiole, breadsticks
Homemade pizza night (making dough in bread machine--it's a cinch!), salad

Saturday:
pancakes (grinding my own wheat), juice
leftovers
Roasted pork shoulder (on sale for 1.49/pound with rain check), butternut squash, sauteed cabbage or brussel sprouts

Sunday dinner:
Stuffed shells (manicotti), salad, garlic bread

(Linked to Menu Plan Monday)

The Missing Redbox

2011-10-16T22:07:00.000-06:00

photo credit

The kids were asleep. The house was quiet. My husband and I were all set to have a fun date at home. I was looking forward to relaxing on the couch with a bowl of popcorn while watching a romantic comedy. The only problem was we couldn't find the movie. Anywhere.

After scouring the house, the mini-van, the kids' rooms (they make off with the strangest things sometimes), the garage, and the house again, the Redbox finally turned up. All that time, all that searching, and it was directly next to the entertainment center, on the floor under a throw pillow.

The messier our homes are, the harder it is to find something. In a more pristine environment, out-of-place items are much easier to locate, mainly because they're--well, out-of-place. We waste time searching here and there, moving clutter around to discover where our hidden item has chosen to make its new home.

Right now, I'm trying to figure out some systems to help me stay on top of it better, or at the very least, to not become so buried. It is difficult to housekeep for five other people while also mothering those other people. I can't pick up the soldiers spread out at Fort Living Room while also acting as commanding officer--stopping duels and redirecting unauthorized exercises; mess haul cook; and chaplain.

We need mercy. A helper provides that mercy. There is power in two.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

My husband and I worked together this weekend. Together, one could oversee the troops while the other could focus fully on clearing the mine field. Together, progress was made.

If your husband is unwilling or unable to help, perhaps you could find a friend to swap kids with. One week, she takes your kids (on top of hers) for two hours while you clean like mad. The next week, you take hers while she gets some time to do what she'd like. I have tried this before on occasion, as well, and it is also helpful.

What strategies do you employ to get caught up and stay caught up?

The Hour that Matters Most: The Surprising Power of the Family Meal

2011-10-13T22:09:00.000-06:00

Recently, I was sent a copy of The Hour that Matters Most: The Surprising Power of the Family Meal by Les and Leslie Parrott, and Dream Dinners' founders Stephanie Allen and Tina Kuna. The book's back cover states that "Researchers across the board are finding that an hour around the dinner table can really tether a family together and help you raise up healthier, happier kids." The book aims to show you "how to nourish and nurture your family through regular meal times," and it includes recipes (with photos), basic cooking tips, and conversation ideas to use at the table.

This book was much different from what I expected...but in a good way.

At first, I was thinking--after reading the first chapter--that the book was geared toward families who have never experienced sharing dinner together, those who want to make it happen, but--night after night--run a mini-cafeteria for the kids and other family members, who grab individual selections and eat on their own at a place of their own choosing. I really can't relate to that, since we make dinner together a priority in our family.

But that is where authors Les and Leslie Parrott were at with their two boys. Similarly, Stephanie and Tina were also finding it difficult, because of busy schedules, to manage dinner as a family each night. They didn't like it; they wanted to spend more time together. They set out to make it happen. Then they discovered the power of sharing evening meals together and wrote a book about it--this book.

So, although the first few chapters seemed redundant to me (since I already appreciate the value of togetherness at the table), the book quickly caught me off-guard. Who knew it would be a book about dinnertime that would cause me to have a major reassment of my parenting, and my relationship with one of my children, in particular?

It was shortly after the birth of my fourth child that I was reading this, so granted, I was sleep-deprived and extremely emotional. But in a chapter called "How to Listen So Your Kids Talk," I had an emotional break-down while reading what the authors' wrote about active listening and empathy (the Parrotts are relationship experts). I realized I had been too harsh with my son in far too many areas. I was jumping to my own conclusions about certain things and wasn't really listening to him, giving him a chance to explain--from his perspective--the "why" behind the "what."

A book that I thought I didn't need surprised me by showing me how much I truly did need what it had to say.

Beyond patching up the rough spots in my relationship with my son, the book also gave me some great ideas to make meal-time more enjoyable. A chapter called "Enjoying More Laughter" suggests ways to get everyone smiling, which makes dinner more fun, and thus, more anticipated as the hour that matters most each day. My boys really loved the jokes printed in the book (ideas can be found by doing an Internet search for "clean kid's jokes," or something similar).

There are also practical tips on: setting a positive mood, curbing conflict at the table, teaching manners, instilling values, and starting a fix-and-freeze dinner club (although it is a relatively short chapter, so if you are looking for more in-depth information, I would guide you to books written exclusively on that topic). Each chapter ends with either a never-before-published Dream Dinners' recipe, and/or a family recipe.They look great. You'll find one below, along with two questions I asked Les and Leslie Parrott.

Slow-Cooked BBQ Short Ribs

3 pounds boneless country-style beef short ribs

1/2 chopped onion

2 T. oil

In a heavy skillet over high heat, add oil, onions and ribs, browning ribs by cooking 2-3 minutes per side. Combine sauce ingredients in slow cooker:

1/4 c. vinegar, 2 T. sugar, 1/2 c. ketchup, 1/2 c. barbecue sauce, 3 T. Worcestershire sauce, 1 tsp. dry mustard, 2 tsp. salt

Add browned ribs and onion to slow cooker. Cook 6-8 hours. If you are pinched for time and/or do not have all the sauce ingredients, you can combine raw short ribs and an entire bottle of barbecue sauce in the slow cooker and cook.

Taken from Hour that Matters Most by Les and Leslie Parrott with Stephanie Allen and Tina Kuna. Copyright © 2011 by Les and Leslie Parrott and Dream Dinners. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.

Since the focus of the book is getting your family to spend more time at dinner together, I wanted to ask Les and Leslie a few questions to help us moms with young children (and short attention spans).

Q: "In the debate between quality time and quantity time, when you encourage families to make spending an hour at the table together, are you intending for a literal hour? Or is it the principle of being together to share a meal and conversation (whether it's twenty minutes or an hour and twenty) the goal we're striving toward?"

Les and Leslie responded:
"The magic is not necessarily found in a literal 60 minutes. It’s the simply the pattern of having this routine that the family can count on. So no need to set a time or a start a stop watch. Focus instead on simply making that time together happen – and then being fully present for it."

Q: "In encouraging families to spend an hour (or more time than is currently being spent) over the table together, what tips could you share (beyond what is already in the book) to help families with small children and short attention spans get beyond the eat-and-run stage?"

Les and Leslie responded:
"The goal with small children at the dinner table is to make it as pleasant as possible for everyone else – including you. So don’t make this the place for power struggles. If you want your little one to eat something specific and you’re getting the toddle stiff arm, save the power struggle for later (when the rest of the family isn’t trying to enjoy their meal together). And to help you manage the short attention span of these squirts, have something at the [table] ready to entertain them when they grow tired of the table talk. You want to keep the time around the table as pleasant as possible for everyone – a safe place where people linger (not where they watch a small one dominate the time)."

So although reviewing the power of the family meal didn't surprise me, there is plenty in this book that did. While we already make dinner a priority in our home, this book renewed my excitement for just how valuable that togetherness time really is, for each of us. It encouraged me to think not only about the food I'll serve, but how to make the time fun for everyone--what jokes and table-talk topics can I bring to facilitate laughter and meaningful conversation? There are some great, free resources available at thehourthatmattersmost.com, including coaster topics that you can print off and laminate (or put contact paper over), table setting guides (for kids), and more.

"Thriving families don't just happen. Merely going with the flow or taking what comes is fatal to the heart of a home. Healthy and happy families are the result of deliberate intention, determination, and practice."--The Hour that Matters Most: The Surprising Power of the Family Meal

So where are you at with family dinners? Do you make them a priority in your home? Would you like them to happen more frequently but are having trouble bringing everyone together? I encourage you to take a step, wherever you're at, to be more intentional about eating together--and enjoying it.

Disclosure: I was sent a promotional copy of this book and requested, but not required, to review it. I've reviewed it solely at my discretion, with no monetary compensation, because I truly enjoyed it and believe in its message.

Wordless Wednesday: Wyoming Wind

2011-10-12T07:51:00.001-06:00

Compared to Chicago, we live in the real windy city. Where we sit in the Northern Rockies, the wind can get pretty gnarly. On this day last week, gusts were up to 75 miles per hour. Let's just say the kids were definitely not playing in their sandbox that day!

The wind gets worse in the winter, making those of us who live here in definite need of God's mercy to remain cheerful while the wind blows through the winter months.

(linked to Wordless Wednesday)

Where Do Smiles Come From & Where Do They Go?

2011-10-11T21:39:00.001-06:00

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Have you ever wondered how it is exactly that a baby learns to smile? A baby innately learns to mirror expressions by simply watching the faces that smile down upon him or her. Yet, it is also somewhat of a complex skill. The actual physical act of smiling requires both the will (choosing to smile) and the act (moving the muscles to form a smile).

Isn't it neat that this is one of the first skills babies learn? I marvel at how fearfully and wonderfully they are made. In the face of a smiling infant, we see that smiling is an instinctive response to the joy and love one feels inside.

We coo over and smile madly at our newborn babies to the point it would seem silly if we were to look at anyone else that way and smile at them as long.

What happens to these smiles? I've smiled incessantly at all my newborns, showing them how to smile at first, and then smiling back at them when they show me those great big happy grins on their own.

But where do those smiles go? Chances are, you don't smile at your six-year old the same way you smiled at him when he was a six-week old. (I know I don't). Yet, this reflection caused me to realize, no matter what their age, they still need us to smile at them. Lots. The kind of smiles where you just sit and stare and smile at them and remind them how much joy they bring to your life.

So let's sit and smile today. Silly long smiles that teach our newborns to smile big, happy smiles; and the kind that cause our older children to stop and say, "Mom, why are you looking at me that way?"

Let the love you feel inside come out with a smile, just like a baby is learning to do.

(linked to We are That Family)

Finding a Focus

2011-10-10T09:43:00.000-06:00

Has your house ever been so messy and so chaotic that you feel like you're going to have a panic attack? Mine has. Everywhere I look, I feel overwhelmed. My head starts to spin. The dishes are backed up. The laundry's backed up. There are piles everywhere. Clothes. Toys. Books. Clutter. I feel like I'm living in chaos.
In moments like these, it's important to just get busy and do something. Anything. Take 10 minutes and load the dishwasher. Get the dishes out of the sink. Looks better. Now do something else for 10 minutes. Just keep working in short chunks, working around the kids, interruptions, tantrums, phone calls. The key is to just keep plugging away here and there, as you have time, using those minutes. You will soon notice progress. You will soon feel better.

Maybe it's not your house. Maybe for you, it's your schedule. Maybe you're so busy that you feel overwhelmed. Do you feel like you can't focus?

No matter what the source of our disclarity, just find something to focus on. Plug away at the task directly before you, without allowing yourself to panic about what else is also laying ahead. Focus on the minute at hand. Like the saying--"How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

Tackle whatever need's tackling in manageable chunks. You may be amazed at how quickly the fog clears when we're putting a lot of productivity into a few minutes. (See this post for more on that).

I Have A Button!

2011-10-09T12:16:00.001-06:00

From time to time, I get asked if I have a "Moms In Need of Mercy" button that readers can put on their own blogs. I haven't had one. But thanks to my tech (and graphic)-savy husband, I now do.

So if you'd like to share on your site that you like this site, you can grab the code for the button in my left side bar.
Enjoy your day!

Super Frugal, Semi-Fun Date Idea

2011-10-06T22:12:00.001-06:00

By the time you budget for a sitter, there usually isn't a whole lot left over for the date. But we all know how important those date-nights with our hubbies are (of course, you could always have one at home. See some ideas on how to make this happen here). A friend told me their favorite date night idea is to head to Sam's Club and hang out on the furniture and talk. I love it! My husband, not so much. (But I think he could be convinced to give it a try).

To make this more fun, you could stop and pick up some coffees or other tasty beverages before heading over to your local big-box store. You could also eat an inexpensive dinner or snack in the cafe section. Share a pizza? A sundae? Just don't tire your husband out by grabbing all the items on your regular grocery list. Remember, this is date night!

Who knew club memberships could have marriage benefits as well?

(linked to Frugal Friday and Works for Me Wednesday)

Under The Dark Cape

2011-10-05T22:01:00.000-06:00

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You know you're having a mom's-in-need-of-mercy moment when you're at the salon, trying to get a haircut, while also trying to manage your hungry, crying newborn baby. The "rock-the-baby-in-the-car-seat-with-a binky-in-her-mouth" trick worked long enough to get through the shampooing. Then she fell asleep for half of the haircut. But when she woke up, she was not a happy camper. The pacifier no longer pacified. The haircut was only half done. What to do?

Enter: the dark cape.

Sounds like the title for a new Batman movie, hugh?

I decided it was in everyone's best interest to take her out of her car seat, which I was holding sideways on my lap to keep falling hair off her, and slip her under the cape, where I could nurse her.

It's funny how the breastfeeding-in-public (even under a cape where no one can see) debate can affect one's judgements at the time. It was completely in my baby's best interest to feed her. It was in everyone else's, too.

Still, I hesitated. What will people think? Will someone be offended that I'm nursing my baby during a hair cut? (Someone had already made a comment, while my baby was crying, that she never wanted "a thing coming out of her," and that "it just wasn't worth it" after I said motherhood can be challenging at times but it's also a great joy.) Obviously, it wasn't the optimum situation with a supportive crowd. (For the record, I normally have no problem nursing under a blanket if I'm out and about somewhere, although I do aim to find a private place, such as a fitting room, if possible).

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. My baby was supposed to be home during this haircut, happily napping. If she woke up while I was still away, my husband or father (who's visiting right now) could feed her a bottle. But I ended up having to take her in for an emergency doctor's visit at the same time I was scheduled for a hair cut.

See, just before my hair appointment, I had called the doctor about what I thought was an infected eye due to a blocked tear duct. The area was a little puffy, and she had some discoloration under her eye. The doctor wanted to see her right away, since I guess the infection can become so serious that the baby needs to be admitted to the hospital for IV antibiotics. It wasn't exactly like I could say, "Well, I was just about out the door for my haircut, so could this wait 'til tomorrow?" Bad mom of the year award right there.

So we went to the doctor's office together and we went to the salon together. (They let me push the appointment back a little).

In hindsight, I wish I would have felt more confident to nurse my newborn sooner. It wasn't like I was whippin' it out for everyone to see, after all. She was under the dark cape.

As women, we so aim to please everyone. We worry what others will think. This sensitivity is polite, to some extent, but not so great when we compromise the needs of those most vulnerable--such as our newborn babies--to cater, instead, to the opinions and possible judgements of those with much larger stomachs and bigger brains.

This Coffee Talk Thursday, I'd love to talk about your experiences with breastfeeding in public. Do you feel comfortable nursing out and about (under a blanket or similar covering)? Have you ever had a negative experience with it? Let's chat!

Missing Toilet, Cleaner House

2011-10-04T14:22:00.003-06:00

It is amazing how simple things are taken for granted until they're gone. Then you realize how much you appreciate them.

Take our toilet, for instance. Stinky thing. Wondered why, no matter how much I wiped it clean, it always smelled like pee.

Now I know.

Son sitting on it this weekend. Announced, "Something's wrong. Water's coming out of the back of the toilet." Handy man husband checked it out. Discovered broken tank. Took toilet apart. Went to Menard's. Realized it would just be easier to install a new toilet. Bought new toilet. Came home.

Removed old toilet. Discovered old toilet installed incorrectly by previous owners. Leaked under toilet. Leaked. Leaked. Leaked. Ruined tiles. Removed tiles. Discovered rotted floor. Could not install new toilet as planned. Cleaned. Cleaned. Cleaned.

Travelled back to Menard's. Bought shop-vac. Cut out old floor. Vacuumed up rotten wood. Thinking about new flooring options. Waiting for new toilet. Missing main floor toilet.

Not missing cleaning main-floor toilet. Boys learning about the importance of not missing, too.

Now for the moral of the story:

When doing a job, do it correctly, the first time. I know I wrote last week about not taking too long for routine chores. Dusting doesn't have to be perfect, just done. But when it matters (like installing a toilet), do it right. Or else, down the road, you'll pay the price for what seemed like a shortcut at the time.

Tips for Kid's Cups

2011-10-03T21:56:00.001-06:00

Photo credit

At my house, it seems like a never ending story: the kids are thirsty, so they get a cup out of our cup-drawer (down where little hands can reach), fill it with water, take a drink, and leave their cup either on the counter or the table. Then they get thirsty again, take a new cup, get a drink of water, and put that cup somewhere (usually on the table or on the counter). It's as if the thought of reusing the same cup is foreign to them. By the end of the day, we've stacked up a bunch of cups on the kitchen counter.

Recently, I came across a great solution here:

Buy each child a reusable water bottle (you can find them at Wal-Mart, or wherever you shop) for around a dollar
Every day, fill it with water and place it on the table (this could be a child's chore)
The kids drink from their water bottle whenever they are thirsty--no more dirtying unnecessary cups

I thought this was a fabulous idea and just had to share it with you!

(Linked with Works for Me Wednesday)

Loving the Little Years Winners

2011-09-30T09:17:00.000-06:00

Thanks, everyone, for entering the Loving the Little Years book giveaway, courtesy of Canon Press.
The winners, according to a random number drawing, are Sallie (comment #5) and Stephenie (#6).

If you provided an email address, I emailed you. If you didn't, please email me at cheryl@momsinneedofmercy.com with your mailing address with 24 hours. If I don't hear from you, I will draw another winner. Thanks!

Enjoy the book!

The Rise of Mommy Cliques: Are You "In" or "Out"?

2011-09-28T21:53:00.002-06:00

I've always been quite outgoing. In high school, I was involved in a lot of activities, had a lot of friends, was on homecoming court, and was voted "most friendly" my senior year. Despite all that, even though it seems silly now, there was a certain group of girls that I wanted to be included with. I was on the outskirts of their clique--in enough to hear what my friends did on the weekend, but not quite "in" enough to be invited to those activities. Sometimes it stung a little.

We're not in high school anymore, but we still find cliques. A group of mommy friends gets together to do something and leaves us out. Or perhaps there's a party, and our mom friends and their kids are all invited--except we're not. Even though we're more mature now, I don't know how old we have to be for that sting to disappear.

Clique is defined by Merriam-Webster as "a narrow exclusive circle or group of persons; especially : one held together by common interests, views, or purposes."

Sure, we all have friends we click with more than others. That's natural. But I think the problem with the clique lies in the key word "exclusive." When our group of friends consistently does exclusive things together, exclusively, we leave others out who might want to be in and open the door to potential hurt feelings. I wish I could say this doesn't happen in the church, but I see it there, too (maybe largely in part to the fact that, as a stay-at-home, homeschooling mommy, it's the biggest social network in my life).

So what's one to do? Here are a few ideas that help me:

Hang out with our own clique. I think it's helpful to realize that as wives and mothers now, our family is our clique. They're the people we hang out with the most, and they're the ones we should most enjoy hanging out with. We may be left out of a group of women, but we are never left out of our most important group!
Celebrate the friends we do have. I would rather have a few very close friends, whom I can talk with deeply, than a group of friends where the talk is typically trivial.
Consider. When getting together with friends, think about if there is anyone you're leaving out of your invitation that maybe you should include. Be sensitive to who might need the fellowship. With Facebook and other social media, it's super easy to blast out an open-ended invitation to local friends.
Remember. Remember that the definition of a clique is an exclusive group. Consistently inviting only the same people to get-togethers is probably a clue that the group's crossed into clique territory. We're way past high school. Let's get past the clique mentality, too, and open our friendship circles up to more people.

"My [sisters], as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism. Suppose a [woman] comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor [woman] in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the [woman] wearing fine clothes...have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?"
--James 2:1-4

This Coffee Talk Thursday, I'd love to hear if you've experienced mommy cliques and how you've dealt with it maturely (and your ideas on how to prevent hurting others' feelings through them).

(linked up with Works for Me Wednesday)

The "Eggs"periment

2011-09-27T21:52:00.000-06:00

If the name-calling and fighting among your children has you fried, crack some eggs for your kids at breakfast--but not in the traditional sense. A friend of mine told me about this idea. She used it with her family, and I used it in mine. I think it's a great visual to dish out some teaching about the way we are to treat one another.

Lay out some newspapers, take out the eggs, and repeat the statements you've heard your children say to one another as you throw down an egg. They'll watch it crack in awe and wonder if Mom's cracked up, too.

Don't explain yet, just keep going. Did someone hit someone recently? Fire away with another egg. Any biting? Break another one. Pushing? Shoving? Name-calling? Egg away. (With the price of eggs rising, you may want to limit the number of wrongdoings you illustrate).

Once they eggs lie open and messy on the floor, you can begin to teach to this visual experiment. Explain that when the children call each other names (use the specific names they say), it's like cracking the egg of their relationship and that person's heart. It's messy. It's ugly. We can clean up the damage, but we can never put the egg back together again.

So it is with the things we do and say to each other. The relationship among siblings is like the egg. God created it whole, with a purpose to bless one another through help and encouragement. He did not design us to put cracks in our sibling relationships (or any relationships) daily. We are all created in the image of God. We are not to destroy one another with our words or deeds.

After the "eggs"periment, I read to the boys some verses out of the Bible that I wanted them to soak into their hearts. I used Romans 9:9-21, as I felt it was most pertinent to our situation right now. There are also many great verses on speech, which you could easily find by using the concordance at the back of your Bible.

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves...Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse...Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud...Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends...Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 9:9-21).

We cleaned up the eggs and will continue to work on cleaning up our behavior.

I'd love to hear if you serve up (or throw down!) some eggs this week. As a final caution, watch what you're wearing. The eggs do tend to splatter.

(linking up with Works for Me Wednesday).

The Law of Thermodynamics in our Homes

2011-09-26T15:47:00.000-06:00

Hard work on Friday resulted in a clean, orderly house to enjoy for the weekend. A fun Friday night at home gave way to a lazy Saturday morning, which turned into a busy Saturday afternoon, which morphed into an enjoyable evening out with friends. Home late and up early for church. By Sunday afternoon, what had been a nice, neat house had deteriorated beyond recognition. I woke up to a very messy Monday. It was discouraging.

As my husband sought to encourage me, he said that houses--particularly homes with many young children--will vacillate between order and disorder continually. We just have to stay on top of it, or we will find a disaster all the time (and it will be very difficult to climb out of).

I loved what Sally Clarkson wrote last week on this topic,

"We are living in homes where the laws of thermodynamics take place every day–that energy is depleting at a constant rate and everything is moving toward disorder. Knowing this–understanding that it will never change–and give yourself grace. Do not expect perfection. Do not condemn yourself or become angry at your children because they are not perfect."--"The Fallen Kingdom of Home"

A weekend of leisure can certainly be a good thing. But work is a good thing too. Either, taken to an extreme, is harmful. Both in balance is helpful--for our homes and for our hearts.

In a sermon about work, Pastor Mark Bergen of The Painted Door church in Chicago said that God intended work for our joy, as a way barricade us from the negative consequences we would encounter if we ignored our work. See the book of Proverbs in the Bible for examples. In our homes, too much leisure usually gives us too much mess.

In closing, may we all be encouraged--even in the midst of any disorder in our homes--by Sally's words:

"Walk in grace. Celebrate life. Look for joy in the corners of your life. Always find a friend to pray with, to share life with, who holds your ideals and values. Know that all moms have the same issues–just different puzzles to put together."--The Fallen Kingdom of Home

I will be blogging about work, children, and chores more in the next few weeks.

Healthy $10 a Day Menus

2011-09-25T23:30:00.004-06:00

I've been in the mood to try out some new cookbooks. "Try before buy" is my motto! (See this post if you love to read but are limited to what you can buy). I checked out several cookbooks from the library--mainly Italian. I'm excited to try a few recipes from them.
Here are the cookbooks I'm trying recipes from this week:

Here's what's on the menu this week (and some tips on how I do it frugally):

Sunday:

Farmer's Breakfast Casserole, leftover whole-wheat pancakes from Saturday morning
snacks
Hot ham and cheese sandwiches, spaghetti squash rewarmed, other leftover cleanup and clean-out

Monday:

Oatmeal, brown sugar, raisins, bananas
Broccoli-cheese quiche, toast, fruit
Citrus Roast chicken from Giada's Family Dinners, carrots, spinach salad (whole chickens were on sale for .88-cents/pound; I stocked up).

Tuesday:

French breakfast puffs, strawberries, vanilla yogurt
White chicken chili, using leftover cooked chicken, chips and tortillas
Taco bar

Wednesday:

Zucchini bread, milk; spinach and feta cheese omelets
Bean and cheese burritos (using leftover refried beans from taco night)
Runzas, fried potatoes, salad

Thursday:

Cereal (bought on a good sale, with coupons)
Italian bean soup, homemade breadsticks
Chicken parmesan over spaghetti, green beans and french bread (make homemade bread crumbs using bread ends; spaghetti sauce hit a rock-bottom price and combined with a coupon, it was about .70 cents; making my own french bread in the bread machine)

Friday:

Cream of Wheat, juice, fruit
Corn chowder, fry bread, carrot and celery sticks
Homemade pizza, salad

Saturday:

Whole-wheat pancakes from freshly ground wheat
leftovers
Riso alla Pitocca (traditional rice and chicken), probably a big leafy green salad in homemade vinagrette, rolls

For more menu ideas, be sure to visit Menu Plan Monday!

Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches

2011-09-22T21:51:00.000-06:00

As moms in need of mercy, we care about being good moms, we desire to become better moms. As we grow in Christ and seek to become more godly mothers, we find there's always at least one area where we can work to improve.

In this journey of sanctification, resources like blogs and books that meet us where we're at when we're struggling and inspire us to new heights are treasured gems. They renew our vision and refresh our spirits.

That's how I felt when I came across a copy of Loving The Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic--a young mother of five, ages five and under. Reading this book felt like having a heart-to-heart talk with a great friend or mentor, where what they say just clicks, and you go away encouraged and motivated.

The book is a quick, but deeply enriching, read. Chapters are short--like reading blog posts. As Rachel writes, it's a "loose collection of thoughts on mothering young children--for when you are motivated, for when you are discouraged, for the times when discipline seems fruitless, and for when you are just plain old tired."

My only complaint is I found it a little too short in places. I wish she would have elaborated more on some topics and flushed out more practical suggestions in areas, such as dealing with the chaos that comes along with multiple little children. However, as Christians, we have a relationship with Christ and fellow believers, the Bible and the Holy Spirit to help instruct us and guide us in wisdom.

I'd love to share with you everything I loved about this book, but that would require more space than this post allows. So here are a few of my favorite excerpts from the book:

"As you deal with your children, deal with yourself always and first. This is what it looks like and feels like to walk with God as a mother."
The spirit in which we correct our children: "When they disobey, do you talk about your own hurt? Are you pointing to all the work that you have to do now that they screwed up? Do you want to elaborate at all on how bad, bad, bad that particular thing was?...Now try thinking of discipline as a different kind of nourishment--a sweet means of grace to your children."
"Flunking" a bad day: '"Child number one was a huge pill all day. Child number two was crying and fussing and fighting with child number one. children three and four were just as bad, but I don't know what they were doing, but everyone was terrible, terrible terrible...A F minus for the whole class...'" (she follows with a challenging conviction to moms on what to do if days like that have been happening a bit too often.)
Helpful tips for teaching kids to manage their emotions
Encouragement to renew our perspective on mothering. Do we feel overwhelmed? Rachel writes, "God gave me to do this. I may not be overwhelmed about it. I can try as hard as I can, and maybe fail sometimes. I can try as hard as I can and fall asleep at the dinner table. I can try as hard as I can and be completely burned out at the end of the day. But I may not be overwhelmed. Actually, I may be overwhelmed, but I may not say that I am overwhelmed! The words have a real power over us."
Great points for not blowing our tops when multiple children are doing multiple things at the simultaneous time. (This section inspired this post).
A fresh perspective on "me" time
Dealing with the "ambiguous restlessness in the house" during a time of change (such as giving up naps). Rachel writes that it's only a problem when Mom refuses to have a growth spurt herself and suggests Mom finds a creative way to deal with the new needs.
Thinking of yourself as a "racquetball court": taking the blows our children send our way and not bouncing them back at them, but absorbing them and finding ways to soften them.
Suggestions on sibling rivalry and handling the all-too-common fights over toys
A challenge to get rid of the alarm clock when you have a nursing baby. Do we really need to know how much we were up with the baby and how little sleep we got?
A beautiful section on teaching expectations and instilling obedience: "God will give you the kind of overwhelming joy that cannot remember the details. Motherhood is hard work. It is repetitious and often times menial. Accept it. Rejoice in it..."

I came away from reading this book feeling like Rachel was a kindred spirit, the kind of friend where you sit and have coffee while the children play and you have a great (but often interrupted) conversation about the real meat of mothering: our hearts, and how to find God's mercy in all the messy moments.

Reading the book was such a blessing to me, I'd like to offer the same experience to you. Cannon Press has graciously agreed to give away two copies of the book (US and Canada entries only, please.) I will draw two random winners next week Thursday. If you'd like to win, please leave a comment on this post, including your contact information. Winners will have 24 hours to respond, or another winner will be chosen.

The $27 Nap

2011-09-20T21:58:00.002-06:00

Photo credit

You know you're desperate for sleep when you drive your kids to the nearest drop-in daycare (for the first time ever) so you can try to get a nap. Twenty-seven dollars later ($27.08, to be exact), I'm still as tired as I was when I dropped them off.

That's because I kept my two-year old with me, thinking that he, I, and the baby could all get a little sleep. Wrong. For the hour slot that we had, he cried and threw a royal fit on the stairs because he wanted to be with his brothers. He ended up falling asleep...right when I needed to leave to pick the boys up. Nap derailed.

Especially with a newborn baby (and the lack of sleep that accompanies it), I am working hard on instituting a quiet hour rule in the house in the afternoon. The only problem with that is that the boys (ages 6, 4, and 2) all fall at different points on the obedience spectrum. Mom can't rest when she's worried about what sort of mischief they could be getting into (they've done some doozies in moments unsupervised).

So today, in a classic mom's-in-need-of-mercy moment, I did the only thing I could think to do to keep from snapping: call the daycare and see if I could drop off my children for a wee little bit.

When I picked up the boys, we had a long talk about obedience and adhering to the quiet time rule from here on out. Unfortunately, to my disadvantage, they really enjoyed the drop-in daycare (complete with a giant ball pit). One clever son asked, "So Mom, if we get into mischief again when we should be having quiet time, will we get to go back to [said daycare.]" Nice try, son.

The baby's sleeping. I'm going to try to get some rest now, too...

If you've also been there, I'd love to hear about the desperate measures you've gone to in order to get some rest in your most sleep-deprived moments. One mom friend of many littles told me once that she used to barricade a door with a mattress and lay on the mattress while her children played inside the room. She could rest knowing they were safe and wouldn't be able to get out. Creative idea.

Raising Sons: We Have Their Childhood

2011-09-18T19:13:00.001-06:00

Listening to this song while washing dishes, I flash-forwarded to a thought of dancing with my oldest son at his wedding. It made me teary. In that moment of giving my boy to his wife, all the silly, childish things he has done (and has yet to do) won't seem so terrible. In fact, they may even turn in to fond memories...things to laugh over--depending, that is, on how I handle the moment: will I crush his spirit with a sharp-tongued expression of my anger and frustration; or will I subdue my displeasure, resist the desire to sin in my own self, and teach his character?

See, the thing is, for our boys, we have their childhoods. Their wives have their futures. We are given each day in their most formative years to shape and guide who they become. We can do, as moms, what their wives cannot do. A wife cannot, or should not, mentor her husband into the character she hopes he displays day-to-day. Yet that is our mission as moms. A woman will someday choose our son as her husband largely due to the groundwork we have laid in forming his character.

Once grown, our sons may still make foolish choices that their wives have to deal with. But the poor decisions they make then will not be the same poor choices they make now. A 30-year old, for example, will not be getting in trouble for coloring on the walls, getting into Mom's makeup and perfume, splashing too much in the bathtub, being mean to his brother, putting a piece of paper in a candle flame...We get the childishness. Seen in the right perspective, we can use it to teach lessons that his future wife will reap.

So we are given these days. May we purposefully embrace our mission to love and train our children. May we remember, even on the bad days when childish behavior is at its worst, that we--unlike any other woman in our sons' lives--are given a chance to chisel these precious boys into godly men. May that vision drive us on.

(Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!)

Schedules and Sin

2011-09-13T22:32:00.000-06:00

There's the saying that you can't control interruptions to your schedule. I would modify that to add: you can make the perfect schedule, but you can't control the sin. What I mean is, as a full-time mom with children at home, you're bound to encounter lots of sin during the day. Chalk it up to strong-willed children, disobedience, overtiredness, hunger, sibling rivalry and whatever else causes bumps along the way in the course of a day. While rough moments can indeed be chalked up to any and all of those issues, for the sake of keeping it short and sweet, I'll just call it sin.

It seems as though our sin, our children's sin, is more noticeable when we're trying to operate on a schedule. In the evening, we can create what looks like, on paper, to be the perfect schedule for the coming day. We imagine the day running smoothly, peacefully, joyfully.

And then our feet hit the floor in the morning. We're off and running, and so is the sin. Maybe it's the squabble over who sits where at breakfast that escalates to pinching, hitting, or biting. Maybe it's who-took-whose toy and won't give it back. Maybe it's the mean things one said to another. Maybe it's the failure to obey promptly. Perhaps it's all of those and more. We see the sin. It tangles up our perfectly planned schedule. It throws us off-course.

While we can't anticipate what kind of behavior our children (or others in our lives) will display during our "planned" day, we can control how we personally respond when confronted with the sometimes ugly realities of imperfect people. We can choose to stay in the Spirit, and remain patient and calm, lovingly guiding and directing our children and those who come our way. Or we can give in to the frustration and lose our cool completely. (Please don't think that just because I'm writing this, I epitomize the former).

How do we remain in the Spirit of Christ? By His divine grace, which we pray for. But also, the Bible says to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling (Phil. 2:12). There is a work on our part, aided by the Holy Spirit, "for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." (Phil. 2:13). I reflected today on the fact that we are to resist sin. As moms, I think this means we are to resist giving into blowing our tops. Resist.

"Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood" [as Jesus did]. (Hebrews 12:4).

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." (1 Peter 5:10, bold mine).

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience..." (Col. 1: 10-11, bold mine).

Here's to planning tomorrow's schedule (reminding myself that it will not be as pretty in real life as it looks on paper)! Praying for great endurance and patience, and the grace and strength to resist giving into sin.

Related post: A Day With No Sin

Coffee Talk: Where Did The Memories Go?

2011-09-08T16:59:00.001-06:00

Baby Lauren - Two weeks old

One of the things I love most about having a new infant is that each reminds me of the other. Glimpses of an older' sibling's face as an infant in the newborn's face causes a fleeting memory of that stage with that child. Yet, the memories are shadowy, not solid. It's as if they disappeared in the fog of lack of sleep and the sea of busyness and demands of days spent mothering more than one child.

What happens to all those memories? Why can it be so difficult to recall each child's newborn phase (or aspects of other phases, in general)? Certainly, there are many moments I remember, but there are also many others I don't. It seems the ones I remember best are those that I will myself to remember, as if I intentionally take a mental snapshot and save it on the hard drive of my brain.

While we were talking about this, my husband shared a great point: magnificent as they are, our minds--specifically our memories--can only hold so much. We can't possibly catalog and recall everything. So we have to be intentional about what we choose to store. And we have to slow down a little so we can effectively store it.

I came across this quote on Elizabeth Foss' blog and think it ties in perfectly:

“…the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make…I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of [my children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4, and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.” --Anna Quindlen

Have you found this to be true in your own life as well? How do you think we can enlarge our memory bank?

Don't Let Your Labors Take Too Long

2011-09-05T13:23:00.000-06:00

I read once that extreme perfectionists tend not to clean very often. The reason is, if they feel like they can't do an immaculate job right then, they'd rather not do the job at all. So routine tasks are put off indefinitely and the deep cleaning rarely gets done either, because when in life is there ever that much time available?

Recently, I observed this in action in someone's life whom I know well. Cleaning a bathroom should not take two days. I would argue it should not even take two hours (unless it is in particularly bad shape with excessive clutter to clear away first). But if one stretches the job to make it take a massive amount of time, it's no wonder one will burnout and not want to clean regularly (as in a fairly quick, weekly tune-up).

Our mothers and grandmothers reserved deep cleaning tasks for fall and spring. There is a reason for this. Deep cleaning like that cannot reasonably be done every week. Cleaning any room (or the entire house) top-to-bottom twice a year is still a pretty big undertaking. That's why it was limited to twice a year.

This Labor Day, I encourage you to limit your labors. It is more important to clean kitchen counters, floors, and bathrooms regularly (even if it is not perfectly thorough) than to spend hours scrubbing every nook and cranny. Reserve those not-so-urgent or obvious tasks for once-a-month deep cleaning days or fall or spring cleaning. That way, at least the routine stuff will still be accomplished and the house will be relatively neat and tidy. It doesn't have to be perfect, just sanitary and presentable.

Related post: The Disastrous Pairing of Disorganization and Perfectionism

On Being Pleasant

2011-09-01T21:53:00.000-06:00

Confession: I haven't been a particularly pleasant person to be around the past few days. I hope you wouldn't notice this outside of my home, but my family would probably attest to the fact that I've been short and snappy with them--and things in general--more often than not.

Have I felt justified? Sure. I may have plenty of reasons for being unpleasant, but those don't matter. I need to be pleasant. In fact, I think we are all called to be. Here's a few good reasons why:

1 Cor. 13:4, 5--"Love is patient, love is kind...It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs."
Ephesians 4:32--"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
1 Thess. 5:15--"Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (I think the "praying continually" is where we gain the grace and find the strength to fulfill all that this verse calls us to.)
Titus 2:5 younger women are called "to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind..." (bold mine)
Gal. 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."

I read this today and think it also ties in well (and is a great verse when it comes to training our children:
"A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult." (Proverbs 12:16)

I think what it boils down to is--when we try to take on too much, we too easily snap. I didn't realize it fully until my mom said she feels like I'm on overload (definition: "too load too heavily, an excessive load.")
Gosh. I don't feel like I'm loaded too heavily or carrying an excessive load (after all, I just delivered our seven pound baby!).

Loving my husband and my children, looking after our needs and caring for my home are not heavy burdens; they are my calling and my delight. But somewhere in there the transmission went on the fritz. Nothing that can't be repaired with a healthy dose of prayer, Scripture, reflection, great heart-to-heart talks with my husband and even with the children.

Today I knew I had to lighten the load. At first, I felt a little anxious taking large chunks of time away from responsibilities inside the house to spend time enjoying the beautiful day outside with my kids. But then I realized being with them was exactly what I needed to be doing. So we took blankets, a book, the baby, and a big cup of water and spent the entire afternoon outside on the lawn doing nothing but being together and enjoying each other. And it was so refreshing.

I reread this today, and it says it all so perfectly:

"When your first baby was born, chances are you treated him with the utmost kindness and careful respect. I'm willing to bet that child never heard you yell for the first couple of years. But as he grew and you added to your family, as the pressure to meet the needs of many individuals mounted, you became a taskmaster. The focus in your relationship shifted in subtle waves over time. Now, you are utterly exhausted and those relationships you hold most dear have deteriorated...

We are in authority over our children. God put us there. That does not mean that we must be tyrants. That does not give us license to berate, belittle, or scream at them. That does not allow us to excuse our own weakness and impatience. Remember: Charity, above all. Be a friend to your child. Listen with interest. Speak with courtesy. Think of him as a friend...

What does this have to do with burnout? Everything. When you treat your children as treasured friends, so much of the tension that has built in your household will dissipate. You will begin to relax and enjoy your role as a mother. You will recapture the exuberance and innocence of those early days. You will once again delight in the humorous antics and refreshing sweetness of little children. You will savor long and interesting conversations with a young teenager who is just beginning to make sense of the world. Mama will be happier, and so will her children"--Elizabeth Foss, Real Learning: Education in the Heart of the Home

To sum it up: Stress over lesser things stopped me from savoring those who matter to me most. It made me uptight and unpleasant. I think I've got it lined out now. These experiences are all profitable if we reflect on them and grow in grace, becoming more Christlike, through them.

Grace for Days That Don't Go as Planned

2011-08-31T15:38:00.000-06:00

I'm having one of those "mom's in need of mercy" weeks--you know, the ones where you feel like you're doing just about everything wrong when it comes to your kids. Too much nagging, too much scolding, too little laughter, too few smiles. I'm trying to see myself as they see me, and I wonder: do they feel like I'm just one grouchy mother? I don't intend for the days to be like this.

After a rather rough start to an "official" homeschooling day (which ended up being just a phonics and handwriting lesson) that did not come anywhere close to being the happy, fun, excited time of learning and togetherness I envisioned, I read this post by Elizabeth Foss. It said exactly what I felt.

Even if you don't homeschool, I encourage you to read it. It encourages all mothers with children at home.

May you be blessed as I was.

Read it here:

The First Day Never Goes As Planned

Ever had one of those days?

How the Cash Envelope System Can Work with Chores

2011-08-29T22:36:00.000-06:00

Our cash envelope system continues to work well for us, helping us discipline and track our spending and save in various areas. With the system, as you probably know, you put a certain amount of money in each envelope, spending it as needed. But the goal is to spend as little as possible in order to save as much as possible and see that money grow.

I think the same principle can work in our homes in reverse. Let me explain.

Instead of putting money in envelopes, you'll put a list of chores--written on index cards--in six envelopes, one for each day of the week (I suggest taking the Sabbath off for rest). Whereas with the cash envelopes where you'll aim to move through the money as slowly as possible, with the envelope chore card system, you'll aim to "spend" them (or move through them) as quickly as possible each day.

How to make this work, practically speaking? First, think through what needs to be done in your home on a weekly basis. Write these chores down on a sheet of paper. Note how often they need to be done. (For example, with boys, I need to do at least a quick clean of our bathroom every day or every few days. With laundry, I have to do at least two loads a day to stay on top of it. Then I have to put those away each day.) If you need ideas of what should be done weekly, I've found these books helpful: Confessions of a Happily Organized Family and Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House. (Check if your library has one or both, or do an Internet search on suggested weekly cleaning chores).

Then look over your list and transfer the chores to index cards (one chore per card). Divide those up as evenly as possible into the envelopes. Don't spend too much time figuring out if you'd rather mop on Monday or on Wednesday, dust and vacuum on Tuesday or Friday--although, if you know a certain day of the week is particularly busy for you, put fewer chores in that day's envelope.

With little children, you could draw pictures on the index cards to illustrate the chore. If they're capable of doing it, they can "spend" that card. One of my boys, in particular, loves getting in our cash envelopes (and really loves finding the bigger bills). So now he can have an envelope system I don't mind him digging through. Maybe if he does a good job, he can earn some money from a cash envelope--just not as large of a bill as he would hope for (a one, not a one with two zeroes.) :)

I think we'll make some chore envelopes in the morning, complete with pictures. I'm thinking three to five chores each day is a good start. (We can always build from there as needed). Then we'll aim to work through them as quickly as possible for the day.

Menu Plan Monday

2011-08-29T22:11:00.000-06:00

Our baby is almost three weeks old now, and I feel a little more up to making some meals. But the key is they have to be super easy and fairly quick. So those are the kind of meals on the menu this week.
Breakfasts:

Oatmeal, cantaloupe
French toast, strawberries
Granola and milk or yogurt, blueberries
Farmer's breakfast casserole
Cream of wheat, OJ
Pancakes, eggs, bacon, juice (standard Saturday breakfast)

Lunches:

Sandwiches, veggies and dip
Use up last of McDonald's summer reading coupons
Broccoli-cheese quiche, fruit
Bbq chicken sandwiches (from leftover chicken, shredded) and some kind of fruit or vegetable
Taco salad (using leftover taco meat)
Kids' pick

Dinners:

Mesquite smoked spareribs (husband grilling), Corn on the cob, fruit salad
BBQ chicken in the crockpot, red skin potatoes, coleslaw or cabbage ramen salad, biscuits
Tacos
Mexican chicken casserole, salad
Sloppy joes, oven fries, mandarin oranges
Steak, baked potatoes, salad

To bake:

Banana bread
Bran muffins
a cake for a dessert one night (just in that mood)
Healthy strawberry shortcake

See more meal ideas at Menu Plan Monday

When It Rains, It Pours

2011-08-24T20:27:00.002-06:00

So I was planning on posting a little on our labor story, since our little girl was born two weeks ago today. That's the happy news. But, just as I was feeling like things were starting to settle in a little bit, my husband all but cut off one of his fingers on Monday afternoon. The funny thing is (not that anything about that is funny), I was just thinking to myself how I didn't feel ready to take all four kids out anywhere altogether yet. I just didn't feel that brave.

And yet, with what happened, I got thrown in the fire, so to speak, with four kids in the emergency room (one throwing massive fits off and on); walking with four kids and crossing a busy street down to where our minivan was parked and back into ER again and then back out to the van again; restraining one of the kids, who was running into the street in front of two oncoming trucks to retrieve his bouncy ball (while holding the car seat in the other hand); hauling a car seat, my husband's bag, my heavy purse in from the parking garage up to the operating room waiting area and taking everything back out again.

I think, if I could, I would crawl in my bed and hibernate for three days.

But I can't.

I have, however, lost 20 pounds in two weeks. I suppose that's looking on the bright side. :)

So I am just another mom in need of lots and lots of God's mercy.

Some random thoughts through this time:

It's only money. God owns it all anyway. I just need to keep trusting in Him to provide for all of our needs at this point, especially since all the bills seem a bit overwhelming right now. But if they were manageable on our own, we wouldn't rely on the Lord as much as we would otherwise. So I suppose it's better this way. Builds trust in the character of God. Plus, as one of my friends encouraged me, just say, "Here's another bill for you, God." He'll get it paid.
I love this verse: "I have no need of a bull from your stall or of goats from your pens, for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills...Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High, and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.” (Psalm 50:9-10, 14,15).
(Something I forgot to say in the original post) I am so thankful for good friends and a great church family. Friends have offered to help with the boys, a good friend watched the boys while my husband was in surgery, others have brought meals or offered to down the road. For all of this, I am grateful.
I've heard Matthew West's song "Strong Enough" on the radio many times before. I thought it was pretty good. The other day, though, it totally met me where I was at. I'm excerpting the words and the story behind the song from his blog:

"You must, you must think I’m strong

To give me what I’m going through
Well, forgive me, forgive me if I’m wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

The song goes on to explore where our true source of strength comes from. My favorite verse from the bible holds the answer, and I sing it in the bridge of this song. Phillipians 4:13 is a verse my dad taught me when I was a kid...The bridge of the song proclaims,

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don’t have to be strong enough
Strong enough

One of the reasons I chose this song to be the next single at radio is because of the response it has during our live show on the The Story of Your Life Tour. Every single night, when we get to the part and start singing, I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH, hands begin to go up in the air all across the audience. It is as if people one by one are facing their own impossible mountains and soaking up that much needed reminder that we were never made to be strong enough to make it through life’s adversity on our own. We were made to be carried by the strength of a savior. I hope and pray this song will encourage you when your day finds you facing an impossible mountain. May you be comforted by the reminder that you’re not strong enough, and thank God you don’t have to be."--Matthew West, Strong Enough (bold mine).

So my mother's here now. Maybe I'll have a few minutes to blog. I do want to share our labor story, plus get some pictures uploaded (not of me in labor!) :). We have two book reviews--one with a giveaway, courtesy of Cannon Press. It's all in the works. Just let me get my laundry put away first... :) Thanks for being patient with me.

(Updating to say that after I posted this, I went to one of the blogs I read regularly--Heavenly Homemakers-and Laura had posted this exact song as well. She has the song with a You Tube video on her blog, if you'd like to hear it and watch the video).

Baby Update!

2011-08-12T12:24:00.000-06:00

Maybe you guessed, since I haven't posted all week--our little girl is here, and she is really a she (although we would have felt blessed with another "he" as well)! Her name is Lauren Jane, and she was born Wednesday morning at 4:25 am. She is 7 pounds, 4 ounces and 21 inches long. We are doing well.

Remember the digital camera fiasco? We still don't have one, so we're using film. We can put the images on a CD when they're developed, so when I get some pictures, I will post some.

In the meantime, we're resting and nursing and holding the baby. I'll be back to posting soon!

(By the way, I did get some bran muffins, banana bread and banana muffins made before labor hit. The chickens are still thawing and will probably go in the crockpot tomorrow to make Chicken Divan--eat half, freeze half, Mexican Chicken casserole and other chicken dishes).

Easy Pre-Baby Menu Plan

2011-08-07T18:03:00.001-06:00

Officially one week until baby #4 is "supposed" to make her debut. I am thinking simple meals are on the menu. Yet I also want to have a good kitchen day (or a couple of days) to get some things prepped and ready to go. Here's what I'm thinking:

To make:

Bran muffins (eat and freeze some--at least that's the plan. Last time, the boys ate them all in a matter of a day--or maybe it was two?).
Banana bread
Banana Chocolate-chip muffins
Granola
Master baking mix
Put two whole chickens in the crockpot and shred meat. Use for:
Chicken Divan (freeze half)
Mexican chicken casserole (freeze half)
chicken salad sandwiches (for lunch) and other chicken dinners during the week
Beans in crockpot, rice, taco-style fixings and tortillas (leftovers into bean and cheese burritos for lunch the next day)

Other dinner recipes:

Ground beef macaroni casserole
Skillet ziti with chicken and broccoli
Homemade pizza, salad
Maybe try Quicker Chicken and dumplings
Lemon-pepper Tilapia, red potatoes, green vegetable

Breakfasts and lunches:
The goal is to aim for as easy as possible. Oatmeal, scrambled eggs and toast, cold cereal (it's just that season)...peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, dinner leftovers...
Whole-wheat pancakes on Saturday
Farmer's breakfast casserole on Sunday before church

So what are some of your favorite foods to prep and freeze before a baby?

(linked to Menu Plan Monday)

More on Milk

2011-08-03T11:26:00.000-06:00

When I posted why I feel completely safe buying regular milk, I received a request to address the potential use of growth hormones and steroids to make cows produce milk more quickly. So I asked my good friend, who is in the dairy business, if she could please share the truth of what really happens on the dairy farm. I am posting exactly what she shared with me in the interest that it may help all of us make wise, informed consumer choices.

Milk is Milk

I will begin by stating the difference between organic raw milk and regular raw milk. The difference is none other than the price…seriously it is one of the biggest marketing scams.

Why should I have knowledge of this? First off I have lived on a dairy farm for pretty much my whole life. We are a family owned business that has been going on for several generations. This is also true for pretty much all of our neighbors as well. It is also safe to say that 90% of us dairy families drink our own raw milk—straight out of our milk tanks at the barn—and it is not organic. We have never felt any worry about the safeness of drinking our own milk…probably because we are witness to everything that goes into it. It is safe, to say the least. (On a side note: raw milk of any kind can cause digestive issues to those not acclimated to raw milk since it contains high contents of live flora and probiotics.)

One of the first scare tactics the media likes to use against regular milk is the possibility of antibiotics contaminating the milk. To put things into perspective, on our dairy we milk between 2,000-2,200 cows daily. The milk truck comes two times a day to pick up our milk from our 6000 gallon tanks. Each milk truck tests each tank of milk for antibiotics. Before the milk even makes it to the creamery, the result is clear: yes or no. If there are any antibiotics detected, the entire tank is literally dumped down the drain at the barn—nothing can be salvaged. Cows treated for various illnesses and infections with antibiotics are milked separately and none of their milk goes into the tank. There are a certain number of days before that cow is even allowed to be milked again with the rest of the herd. If however, the cow somehow manages to get mixed in with the herd before she has been cleared, the antibiotic detection test will find it in the milk. If even one cow in a herd, in our case out of 2200, has antibiotics in her milk, it will be found out and the entire tank of milk will go down the drain. So as an obvious fact, there are no antibiotics in milk.

For point number two I will address the growth hormone scare issue.

I have read recently a new and very surprising myth relating to dairy cows: that a growth hormone or steroid is used in raising dairy cattle. There is nothing more to say on this point other than it is absolutely not true (I am only speaking for the dairy industry, not the beef, which I do not feel as though I have knowledge in). I can only think that perhaps people are getting mixed up with the natural bst hormone that several years ago was used by many dairy farmers to increase milk production in some cows. The strange thing about the bst hormone was that it already occurs naturally in cows. This hormone is what allows a cow to produce milk. Dairy farmers simply injected more of into some of their cows that fell into a certain category of production. In fact, this bst hormone is so natural that there is no scientist in the world that could distinguish between “bst raw milk” and “organic raw milk.” This comes from over 20 years of extensive milk study. Nevertheless, several years ago, the milk board decided that because of the bad publicity bst (scare tactics!) was getting, it is now near impossible to sell milk that came from cows that had a bst injection. That is why you see most milk in grocery stores with the label of no bst . As a side note, the FDA, American Medical Association, American Cancer Society, National Institutes of Health, US Surgeon General’s Office, and the World Health Organization all have given this milk the ok, but since the paranoia and skewed facts, this type milk has been taken off the market.

Next point is the feed of dairy cattle. In a nutshell, if we humans took as good care of our diets as we dairymen take care of our cows, we would be living in one of the healthiest possible societies ever. Great care and pain is taken to see that our cows are fed the perfect diet—enough of all the essential minerals, proteins, fats, carbs, fiber, etc. Hired nutritionists are often testing cows pH balance (a common practice for cancer surviving people who attempt to control cancer by their diet), noting herd conditions, milk production, and health. All of this data they collect is then transformed into a perfect ration for the ultimate health of the cow (think spinach fruit smoothies for us). This ration is often made up mainly of wheat or corn silage and alfalfa hay along with a list of interesting commodities (no ground up meat or bones!!) to bolster the mineral, proteins, and energy a cow needs.

I have to stop on this nutrition point to quickly point out the amazing “green-ness” of dairy farms in this respect. Most of these commodities that are added to the cows’ feed: cotton seed, almond hulls, distillers waste (bi-product of ethanol from corn), bakery waste (ground up cookies, cakes, and bread), citrus (the bruised fruit from local orchards), soy meal, and many more similar natural occurring wastes that normally would be simply disposed of in landfills are now being processed by cows to produce milk! So as stated, the cows are fed a very stellar diet that reaches all of their needs to be as healthy as possible.

Organic milk promotes that there are no pesticides in their milk…that is great…but also our “regular” milk also has zero pesticides in it! All milk, whether organically or conventionally produced, must comply with the standards set forth in the federal pasteurized milk ordinance. Milk and dairy products are among the most highly tested and regulated food in the country, therefore making it one of the top safest foods in the USA.

As stated above in the nutrition point, a dairy farmer is always very concerned about the care and well being of his cows. A fact: happy cows produce the most milk. If a cow is stressed, sickly, crowded, weak, tired, or hungry, she will not produce milk at an optimal level. A dairy farmer needs each cow to be at her best production in order to make a profit. The dairy cow is the farmer’s best asset. You cannot force an “unhappy” cow to produce milk in a profitable way. In fact, at milking time, cows are usually huddled by the gate ready and wanting to get milked. When a cow gets sick, has a hoof ailment, or birthing problem antibiotics may be used to treat her. It seems to be a bit inhumane to deny treatment to a suffering animal…but perhaps organic dairy farmers simply beef these down trodden cows. We use antibiotics sparingly as a cow may not be milked with the rest of the herd while she is on medication. In other words, antibiotics are not over used (as they are in our own human medical world). It is against federal regulations to ship milk or beef that has not properly gone through the withdrawal periods, very strict protocols are written on this by our vets and incorporated into our data base to decrease any chance of polluting the milk or beef products with antibiotics.

The care of our animals is the biggest part of our job: we can match up with most zoos on how much we spend on trying to keep our cows healthy and comfortable! One last stress on the safety of our cattle is that we (as most of our dairy farming community does as well) eat our own beef—the beef we use comes from our own herd. I can truthfully say I have never felt worried about cooking it up, and in fact, my family does not like “store bought” meat—only ours. But perhaps this is another chapter for another day. Hopefully this essay has brought to light the skewed facts and myths about milk so that next time you are in a grocery store you will feel confident in your decision about choosing regular milk as a healthy food/drink for your family.

Coffee Talk: Dealing with Chaos to the nth Degree

2011-07-28T19:59:00.000-06:00

No baby yet; just a busy week around here! For today's Coffee Talk, I thought I'd share a reflection that has really helped me grow in grace with motherhood.

The potential for chaos expands as the number of children grows. With only one child, a tantrum or a whining spell may certainly be difficult to endure, but it is still much easier than dealing with two tantrums at the same time, or two kids whining about something, which is easier than three, and on and on as we add more children to the mix. At the same time, the kids may be behaving fairly well, with no one child doing anything particularly horrendous (let's say playing with finger paints). But the sheer combination of multiple children doing multiple things or making multiple messes can really stress us out. The sum is greater than the parts.

I read a recent example about kitchen helpers. One child wanting to help mix up a batch of cookie dough would be endearing. "Mommy, can I help you measure and mix?" Melts your heart. We have all the patience in the world for those kind of sweet bonding moments. But when three small children are clamoring on chairs all at the same time, and asking--all at the same time--to help add ingredients and mix, our blood pressure rises beyond what is natural. We went from a charming memory to a stressed-out situation where Mom is fighting to keep her cool, simply by adding more kids to the mix. But it's not their fault; they're each individually trying to do what would be endearing to us if they were the only one doing it. It's just that the whole is greater than the parts. But it's up to us to find the grace to deal with these situations--to stay calm in our own spirits while still seeing them as individuals in a collective group.

So when I've found myself approaching my maximum tolerance level, I pray for more grace for the moment, and I remind myself that I should not react to my children as a collective group, but as individuals. See and respond to what each one individually is doing; don't lose it with all of them when maybe only one out of three (soon-to-be four) needs focused attention or discipline. Does that make sense?

As I was thinking through all of this, I came across this excellent post, which offers more encouragement on not allowing ourselves to hit the tipping point. Here's an excerpt:

"Throughout your day you may have several opportunities to lose the grip. You don’t need to. You may pass up that opportunity. Having the feeling is not the indisputable sign that this must happen. Losing the bubble is a conscious decision that you can avoid making. It takes “getting the grace” to pass it by. I think we all know what it is like to have a great big emotional door in front of us. You may charge on through, or turn and pass it by. When you feel the emotional surge coming at you (a bit like sitting at the top of a slide), get the grace. Hold your tongue, and blow it out. Pray that God will give you self control. Walk away from it. It is much harder to get off a slide while screaming around the second corner half way down with your hair blowing in the wind. Also harder for your husband to get you off the slide. Just don’t go down it. Much better for everyone!"--Grace on the Fly

I would love for us to have a coffee talk as moms about situations when we're most tempted to blow the gasket and how we can stop ourselves. I'd love to hear how you've grown in grace in this regard and any wisdom you've come upon that can help us all. Blessings!

Least Favorite Chores

2011-07-25T11:23:00.000-06:00

So I'm not really a fan of ironing. Don't get me wrong--I like the look of nicely pressed shirts, skirts, pants, etc.; I just don't particularly enjoy being the one pressing the clothes. Once I get going, ironing isn't really that bad. It's just the getting-going part that's tough for me. But my ironing pile is mounting up.

Should I:
a) put it in a basket and save it for my mother or mother-in-law to do to help after the baby? (insert evil laugh here...)
b) spray the clothes with a wrinkle relaxer and call it good? They may not look crisp, but oh well...
c) mount up the enthusiasm and get going--just do it anyway?
d) a combination of all of the above?

In reality, I probably will employ a little bit of all the above. But...the goal will be to get the ironing board out, grab the clothes that really should be pressed, and do it despite my feelings.

With undesireable chores, I've found it's best just to not think about it too much (you can put it off all day, for days); just do it; and do it early in the day. Then it's done. You feel so much better. So let's say yes to those chores we've been putting off.

Mop 'N Slide

2011-07-22T17:35:00.001-06:00

My floors haven't been this clean in quite some time. You could chalk it up to
pre-baby nesting, except I'm not the one who's doing it. In an effort to earn some money (I told the boys long ago I would pay them 50-cents for mopping the kitchen floor and they're trying to save up for gumballs, monster trucks and other toys), the boys have been mopping like mad. (Well, ok...two times in three days...but that's more than I was getting it done lately).

The product we're using must really be working, because the floors are squeaky clean. Slip and slide clean. So clean the dog can't even walk on them. She sits at the entrance to our kitchen/dining room, where the carpet meets the tile, gets down on all fours, and proceeds to try to step slowly, carefully, like the scene in Bambi of Thumper on ice. The boys have even come up with a game that they call "Slick and slide," where they get a running start from the living room and see how far they can slide on the kitchen floor. So far no badly wounded heads or broken bones.

So what are we using? Well, I wrote the other day how I found a bottle of "Mop 'N Shine" at the Dollar Tree. I figured, for only a dollar, I'd give it a try. Plus, if the kids can use it and do the chore, without having to deal with a bucket full of soapy water (think flash flood on the floor), so be it. So we bought the Mop 'N Shine, and the boys squirt it on the floor and mop it up with damp microfiber cloths that we clothespin on the Swiffer. (A more frugal way to get the job done).

They're earning money; I'm getting a squeaky clean floor. It's a win-win for everyone. Except the dog, that is...

Coffee Talk: Break Time for Mom

2011-07-21T06:49:00.000-06:00

"Most moms of young children report that it is not a single major crisis that brings them to the edge of breakdown. Rather, it is the constant accumulation of everyday hassles. With no breaks."
--Elisa Morgan & Carol Kuykendall, What Every Mom Needs

As moms, we are all in need of mercy...every single day, and several times every day. We love our children, we enjoy them, but when we're breaking up a squabble for the tenth time, or trying to keep one from biting another for the third time, or putting ice on the eye that just got a block thrown at it from a brother, or helping the one who's having a high-drama day, we grow weary. It's taxing. We crave a break. This quote sums it up perfectly:

"Moms of preschoolers are said to be the most exhausted, fatigued, and worn-out strata of our society. Functioning on little sleep, unbalanced nutrition, little exercise, and frazzled nerves, we're expected to constantly juggle a jumble of balls without ever dropping one or losing our footing." --What Every Mom Needs

Elisa Morgan writes that "moms of preschoolers have a basic, undeniable need to take a break before they break." It doesn't have to be a long break. It can even be a mini-break--a few minutes in the midst of what otherwise feels like chaos to gain perspective. Here are some ideas:

Feed your spirit with prayer, reading a Psalm or another portion of Scripture. Read it aloud to the kids too. Talk about redeeming the day.
Laugh and lighten up.
Pace yourself with chores.
Sit down and play with the kids for a few minutes.
Get some fresh air and exercise. Take a hike! Take the kids to the park.

Another idea, which cracked me up when I read about it because it's so true is "Wal-Marting":
"Wal-Marting goes something like this: My day has gotten progressively worse. Any slight deviation from routine sets off my temper. My children seem particularly fussy. We run out of juice midday. The kitten keeps using the couch as a scratching post. Two unexpected bills come in the mail, and I get four phone calls during naptime. I can hardly wait for my husband to get home from work. As he walks through the door and asks me how my day has been, I explain that I am in need of some alone time. He says he'll see me later. I hop in the car and head to Wal-Mart."--What Every Mom Needs

Many times, I have felt the same way. It isn't a manicure or a pedicure or a massage that I crave in those moments; my idea of a splurge is hopping over to Sam's Club or Target or Wal-Mart for a few minutes without the kids just to walk around and browse. I don't even have to buy anything. Just being somewhere alone for a few minutes, where I can look at things without also keeping on eye on the kids and answering the "Mommy, can we get this?" questions that come every few seconds, restores sanity.

All this being said, I was convicted once about the philosophy of "me-time." I wrote about it here. We must remember that Jesus said we would find our lives in laying down our lives for others. So we don't always need to escape from the house and the realities of life as mom; we just need to find a way to refresh our spirits in the midst of it all.

But still...we're not perfect as He is perfect. Sometimes we need a few minutes to get it together. (I think this is why the Internet is so popular...quick break in the midst of a hectic day). What are your favorite ways to take a break?

Funny Pregnancy Comments

2011-07-20T14:42:00.000-06:00

So I am officially due with baby number four, our first girl, August 16. But I must look ready to deliver any day now, based on the comments I have been receiving while out and about. Here are some of my favorites. They just make me smirk and giggle. The things people cannot leave unsaid...;)

"Wow! You're ready to pop!" (as if it were that easy)
"When are you due?" Upon hearing my due date is still 2-4 weeks away, the follow up by at least two people:
"Are you sure you're not having twins?" and
"Just one baby in there???" (ok, go ahead and call me huge, that's fine). :) I'm 5'4", and what can I say--short women tend to be all baby up front. We can't help it. It's called a short torso.
"Going for a basketball [football/baseball] team?"
"Are you gonna make it?"

Sometimes you just have to smile and go with it. Although I should come up with some great one-liners in response...

Have a great day!

The Power of a Woman's Touch

2011-07-18T21:12:00.000-06:00

When it comes to making a house a home, we as women just have a certain knack that can not be underestimated. This became so clear to me on a recent outing to check out some open houses. We specifically went to see house because the pictures of it on the computer caught our eye. It was tastefully decorated and homey. Once inside, however, it was a different story. The owners had moved out, leaving nothing behind--except a substantial amount of repairs. Everywhere you looked there was something broken or damaged. It did not look well cared for, as the pictures led us to believe. It looked like it had been destroyed.

When we got home, my husband looked at the brochure from that house (showing it when the family still lived there). He said, "Now, what about this one? We didn't see this house." I reminded him that we had just come from that house.

How interesting it is that when a home is turned into a home, the eye is drawn to everything that is appealing and drawn away from that which needs repair. The house was the same house in the pictures that it was when we looked at it. The difference was the woman's touch (which lent it such an appealing air in the photos) was now missing.

Making home an inviting place to be doesn't have to cost a lot of money, or any additional money at all. There are simple things we can all do to kick the cozy welcome factor up a notch or two. We can clear clutter, we can add a few plants or pick some flowers from the garden and put them in a pretty vase, we can arrange (or rearrange) decorations we already own in an attractive way. Every home is different, and every decorating style is different. The goal is to figure out what ours is individually and use it to bless our families. And let's not forget the power of our attitude and words to affect the atmosphere of our homes as well.

So what can we do today to display the unspoken power of a woman's touch at home?

Related post: A Little Care Goes a Long Way

Menu Plan Monday

2011-07-18T08:46:00.000-06:00

It has just been hot around here. But after a week of quasi-cooking, I am finally feeling motivated to create a real menu plan and cook some decent meals (thanks, by the way, for some ideas on what to cook when you don't feel like cooking!).

Monday:
Oatmeal, cantaloupe
Tuna salad sandwiches, carrot, celery sticks
Cheesy beef and rice, green beans

Tuesday:
Swedish pancakes
Berries, cottage cheese
Broccoli-cheese quiche, orange jello
BBQ Chicken drumsticks (crockpot), Cabbage ramen salad, boiled red potatoes

Wednesday:
Granola, bananas
Leftovers
McDonald's with free meal cards from summer reading program

Thursday:
Eggs in a hole, oranges
Chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, apples
Sausage Rigatoni bake (I might try this in the crockpot), salad, Rocky Road brownies

Friday:
Peanut Butter baked oatmeal
Cilantro chicken salad
Grilled chicken marinated in Italian dressing, orange rice, Crunchy romaine strawberry salad

Saturday:
Pancakes
Leftovers
Chicken tortilla casserole, salad, corn

Sunday:
Farmer's breakfast casserole
Sesame chicken, rice, sugar snap peas

(linked to Menu Plan Monday)

Coffee Talk: What Do You Make When You Don't Feel Like Cooking?

2011-07-14T08:18:00.000-06:00

It seems like it happens every summer: the desire to labor in the kitchen, creating a nice meal, is just not there when the temps are high. Aside from it being hot outside (and inside--we don't have air conditioning), I'm very pregnant, and I want to make something quick and easy. So what are some easy summer stand-by meals for those "don't-want-to-cook" nights?

Sloppy joes, salad
tacos or taco salad (it's great to have browned ground beef already to go in freezer baggies that you can just pull out, put in a pan, warm slowly with a little water and season accordingly)
Quesadillas
Putting chicken or another meat in the crockpot with BBQ sauce, Italian dressing, or another sauce
Eggs (veggie omelets, scrambled eggs--plain or with veggies and cheese)
Giving meat to my husband to grill

I'd love to hear your ideas for what you turn to for these hot summer nights when you have to feed your family but wish you didn't. :)

What I Love About Living in a Small(ish) Town

2011-07-12T18:01:00.000-06:00

When I first moved to where our family now lives, I was 21, fresh out of college and ready to start my career in broadcast news as a reporter for our local NBC station. I envisioned moving on after my first job, climbing the ladder to better and better news markets until eventually I wanted to end up working for a major network, such as FOX in New York. I wanted to be a wife and mother someday, too, and I never could quite figure out how these different tracts would merge.

Before I moved, an older friend asked what I'd do if I met my husband in my new city. I just laughed at the idea, because I thought every guy here would be a cowboy, and that really wasn't my big-city type. Yet, a few weeks after attending one of the churches here, I met the man who is now my husband.

After a few months of spending time in groups with friends, we started dating. After about six months of dating, we were engaged. After six more months, we were married. Although he no longer rodeos or works on a ranch, I ended up marrying a cowboy after all. It turned out alright. Going on nine years and soon-to-be four kids later, here we are--in the same small town I had such a hard time adjusting to.

When you move from a city of over a million to a city of about 50,000, it's a huge adjustment. No more Pier 1 Imports, or Cost-Plus World Market, or Barnes and Noble with a Starbucks in it. None of the places I loved to go just to browse were anywhere within a half day's drive. Plus, the landscape here was so different than where I was raised in the Midwest, with hills and hills of green grass and more trees and lakes than you can count.

After living here for about six months, I flew home for a week. When the plane touched down here again, I really didn't want to be here. If it weren't for my husband (at the time, my boyfriend), I would have taken another job offer I had received and high-tailed it out of here. But I stayed. And I'm glad I did.

This small town grew on me. Now I love it. There's that saying that with God, there are no coincidences. I love that no matter where I go, it seems like I always bump into someone I know. These spontaneous visits are always fun and encouraging.

I love the family-feel our city offers. Today was our local parade day to kick off the county fair. Most all of the businesses close for the morning, if not for the day. Families, children, and senior citizens line both sides of the main downtown streets to watch the parade floats pass by and catch candy.

Our city is growing. We now have not one, but two Starbucks; we recently got an Olive Garden; and a Kohl's department store is on the way. We have beautiful mountain views and plenty of outdoor activities. It's just a good place to raise a family. I'm glad my friend turned out to be right: I met my husband after all, and this city has become my home.

Frugality and Convenience

2011-07-11T08:21:00.002-06:00

Often, in the interest of saving money, we sacrifice convenience. Whether it be making our own foods from scratch rather than buying pre-made mixes, washing and chopping whole fruits and vegetables instead of buying pre-cut, or making our own homemade cleaners rather than grabbing something off the shelf at the store, we trade a bit of time for a bit of savings. Most of us don't mind. We know those savings can add up.

But sometimes, at different seasons of our lives, we may choose to pay a bit more for the convenience of having something ready-made. If we are frugal by nature, this might be difficult at first, but let's remember, it's just a choice to buy a benefit for a season. Another option is to come up with our own frugal version of the commercial product.

For example, right now, our kitchen mop is unwieldy for the boys. But the Swiffer Wet-Jet is just the right size for them. They'll mop the floor for me with the Swiffer. Yet, the refill pads are a bit more than I'd prefer to pay. It feels like a waste. Yet...would I take the trade-off: spend some money I wouldn't ordinarily spend to make it convenient for the boys to take over cleaning the floor? In this season, I think I will settle for that. (Update: I realized I could take some old wash rags or microfiber cleaning cloths--bought at the Dollar Tree--and use clothes pins to attach them to the Swiffer; a workable more frugal and environmentally friendly solution).

However, I'm going to skip buying the bottle of refill solution. Because the boys love to push the squirt button, too much solution ends up on the floor, and that is a waste. So I give them a squirt bottle with water mixed with Shaklee's Basic-H (or you could do water and vinegar, or another combination), have them squirt a small area, then wipe it with the Swiffer. (Update: Also at the Dollar Tree, I found a bottle of Mop and Shine. Just squirt it out and then wipe it up. This is another option).

When the baby comes, I may also spend a little money that normally I think is unnecessary to buy paper plates and some convenience foods that my husband or I can prepare quickly and easily. Hamburger Helper isn't my preferred dinner of choice, but if I can give the box to my husband and it gets me out of cooking dinner during the week or two post-baby, so be it. A trade off for a time.

What are some trade-offs you've chosen to make to save time right now, or vice versa--to save money? Or...what are some frugal ways you've found to substitute your own version of common convenience products, such as the Swiffer pads and solution?

(linked to Works for Me Wednesday)

The Octomom's In-Need-of-Mercy Moment (On Live TV)

2011-07-08T18:53:00.000-06:00

Controversy surrounding her aside, when I checked my email today, I came across a link to a news article that made me curious: Octomom Brings 9 of Her Kids Along for Chaotic 'TODAY' Visit .
Reading the article and watching the video made me feel empathy for her. Imagine trying to answer questions in a live interview on national TV with eight two-year olds on an open set with no one to help you but your 9-year old daughter. I know how hard it can be to corral my three in certain places, and I know how stressed out I would be in her situation. Add that she has three times the number of children I have, and no husband to help her, and my heart went out to her.

If you get a few extra minutes, browse the article, watch the video...
Ir's humorous, partly because it's so realistic of 2-year old behavior. I bet we can all relate!

Why I Don't Buy Organic Milk

2011-07-06T23:22:00.001-06:00

As moms, we pay close attention to our grocery dollars. We choose which foods our family's hard-earned money will purchase and which foods we'll say no to in the interest of health, nutrition and expense. One of the big debates today is organic versus non-organic--specifically with regard to milk. You'll read horror stories about non-organic dairies--the foods fed to the cows, the over-crowded feedlots, the antibiotics and steroids pumped into the cows that reportedly makes its way into the milk we drink. I read one blog post once where a mom compared buying non-organic milk to buying her family illicit drugs. A little over the top, in my opinion.

Yet, one of the first lessons I learned as a news reporter was to choose your sources carefully. First-hand sources are the most reliable and trustworthy. Therefore, my opinion that the arguments against regular milk are largely untrue is based on first-hand information from one of my best friends, whose parents and in-laws both own large dairies in California. Plus, the Central Valley area in which she lives produces something like 90% of the nation's milk. I'd say she's a pretty reliable source. So you can read and believe what other sources tell you about dairies, or you can believe her first-hand account. Here's the truth of what happens on a dairy, according to my friend.

First of all, the cows are the farmers' livelihood. This means great time and expense is devoted to taking excellent care of the herd. The better cared for they are, the better their milk will be, and the greater the profit for the dairy. (Plus, many of these dairy families are committed Christians, and so there are stewardship issues and deep personal values involved in caring for their cows).

My friend told me nutritionists come often and check the cows' pH-levels, to see if they are alkaline or acidic. Their diets are adjusted accordingly. Few of us monitor our diet and nutrition as closely as these cows are checked. My friend said they grow their own corn, but in addition, citrus producers send surplus citrus, almond producers send almond wholes, and other healthful foods are ground up and fed to the cows as well. Plus, yes, they are also turned out to pasture where they can graze on grass.

Contrary to public opinion, they do not administer steroids to the cows to help them make milk faster. Plus, most milk cartons these days are printed with a statement that the milk is from cows not treated with rBST growth hormones. I don't know where that idea got perpetuated, but I believe the vast majority of dairies do not employ the dreadful practices the organic-milk crowd rails against them.

Yet, here's my favorite, most convincing argument about the safety of non-organic milk:

My friend's family's dairy is made up of 2,200 head of milk cows. One day, one cow was on a trace amount of antibiotics. This cow accidentally made it in the milking line. Oh-oh, right? Antibiotics in our milk. Wrong. When the milk truck came to take the milk, mandatory testing (performed on the milk every time it is picked up) detected that trace amount of antibiotic--from one cow out of 2,200. The entire tank of milk had to be dumped, per FDA regulations. So since this is true, how in the world can people say that cows' antibiotics make it into the milk we drink? It just doesn't happen.

Here is some additional proof:

"Sick dairy cows treated with antibiotics for humane reasons go through an FDA-prescribed withdrawal time that varies, based on the antibiotic and the animal’s illness. This means that during the withdrawal time, the sick animal’s milk and the antibiotics are kept out of the milk supply. The FDA also has set strict standards for the presence of antibiotics in milk, and each and every milk tanker is tested for the presence of the important antibiotics before the milk is allowed to enter the milk processing facility. The milk from the rare tanker truck which has been accidentally contaminated is discarded and does not enter the human food chain." Source: http://www.realcaliforniamilk.com/farm-life/animal-care/animal-faqs/

Additionally, with the radiation issues coming from Japan, my friend shared with me that we are all safer if we do not rely on any one dairy or farm--organic or not--for our milk, eggs, and meat. This is because if a radiation cloud were to contaminate a farm, or radiation got into the feed, we would be exposed to that radiation through the cow's milk, let's say. If it were our only source of milk, its effects would be highly concentrated in our bodies. But if we bought our milk at the store from a wide range of producers, any effects from possible radiation at one farm would be dispersed and lessened in our bodies. Does that make sense?

Going back to the heart of the issue, my friend lives just down the road from an organic dairy. She really believes her family takes better care of her cows and devotes more time and attention to them than the organic dairy does.

If, after reading this, you are still convinced you want to dedicate some of your grocery budget to organic milk, that's fine. But if you are on the fence about it all, I hope this report helps convince you that non-organic milk is really ok. Don't believe everything you read against non-organic dairies. Listen to dairy farmers themselves. Hear what they have to say about their farms and practices (a great source is realcaliforniamilk.com), and then make a decision for yourself.

I'd love to hear your opinion of it all, and if you have any questions, I'll see if I can get them answered for you.

(linked to Works for Me Wednesday)

Raise 'Em To Like 'Em

2011-07-05T22:35:00.000-06:00

Hope everyone had a nice weekend and enjoyed a relaxing 4th of July (for those in the States)! We took a little trip to visit family. Those kind of trips--even if they're short--can be so rejuvenating. It just helps to get out of the daily routine and gather some fresh perspective.

One of the reminders I came away with was to enjoy my children more each day. As a friend of mine shared with me in a recent conversation that her mother's parenting advice was to "raise them so you like them." I think it is so easy as moms to focus on our children's faults and weaknesses--those areas where we need to devote extra attention to their character growth, manners and behavior in general. When we spend a lot of time thinking about their flaws and what we need to do to help them, we can all too easily forget to also (and maybe more importantly) look for the good seeds--the areas where they bring a smile to our faces, the places we see them growing in character, the things they do that make us proud that they're our kids.
While we point out and help them work on the negatives in their lives, we need to be sure this isn't all we're doing. We absolutely must be sure to encourage our kids daily. They need to know how much we love them, and that all our "self-help" on their behalf is meant for their good.

So let's help our kids to work on what they need to as we raise them, but don't forget to let them know lots and lots of times in lots and lots of ways that we also like them...a lot.

The Art of Roughhousing

2011-06-27T23:00:00.001-06:00

Browsing through the Sunday paper, I was amused to come across an article about a new book called The Art of Roughhousing.Complete with diagrams and instructions, the book promotes the benefits of roughhousing: making kids "smarter, emotionally intelligent, likable--even lovable," according to the book. The authors, both dads, argue that kids--especially boys--must get away from the electronics and the avoidance of rowdiness and get back to good old-fashioned roughhousing. They say it's vital to self-esteem and physical development.

I chuckled at the quotes from a mom of two boys, ages 4 and 2, who was interviewed for the story. She said, "All they do is rough-housing. They're physically incapable of not doing it. I find it stressful, dangerous for them, and the interior of my home, which is taking a beating, too."

How many of us mothers of boys can relate to that sentiment?

Most likely, all of us. Another mom of a 3-year old daughter and 18-month old son said it's "their wrestling, chasing, jumping on furniture and running in the house" the second she turns her back that most concerns her. She said she constantly feels like she's saying, "Stop, don't do that!"

Roughhousing is one of my tipping points, too. If they're not roughhousing with each other, the boys are roughhousing with the house. They're grabbing the cords for our custom living room shades that are bolted into the wall and swinging like they're Spider-Man. Everyday, we review that they are not to do that; everyday, they try it again and again. Chairs become trampolines, despite reminders that chairs are not trampolines and despite discipline when they fail to heed the warnings. The built-in bookcase not only holds books, it also serves as a climbing wall. The living room apparently makes a great track for running laps, and the window seat ledges (and coffee tables) offer plenty of practice for perfecting jumps. Makes for stronger bones, I guess. Apparently, the neighbors get a little nervous when they see our boys climbing the fence and sitting on the top rails to wave goodbye to Dad in the morning and after lunch. But they don't know that our boys have perfected the art of roughhousing. If the book's right, it's all for their good (and perhaps mine too): they'll be smarter, more emotionally in-tune, and more likable. Now if I could just find roughhousing more likable, I'd be all set...

Cash Envelopes and Financial Peace

2011-06-23T19:31:00.001-06:00

We've been faithfully using our cash envelope system for about six months now, and I love it. At first I wished our budget allowed for a larger amount to go into the various envelopes, but after adjusting to that, I really like the discipline it forces. If we don't have the money in the envelope, we simply don't buy whatever it may be that we'd otherwise be interested in. Sure, this means we aren't doing a lot recreationally, for example. But what we do choose to do or purchase, we enjoy more, because we're making a very conscious choice to use money in that way (and most likely we had to save up for it).

This higher degree of discipline with our money has enabled us to pay off all but $400-some dollars on my OB bill of $4,114 plus a $440 ultrasound, plus about $100-worth of labs. I also see God's supernatural hand of provision in there, because I can't believe we've been able to do that. We'll still have a hospital bill, but this experience encourages me that we'll find a way to get that paid off too. (Prayers for a healthy, non-complicated birth and baby are much appreciated!).

We found that the restriction of using the cash envelope system brings about financial peace. Once we learn to live within the budget, we have greater control over our money. There are no longer the $10-here, $20-there "small" purchases with the debit card (or uncategorized cash) that can add up to $50 or more a month. If I look in our food envelope, for example, and see that we're dipping below a certain point, and I still have groceries to buy, there will not be any running through the Wendy's drive-thru on a night I may not feel like cooking. We're telling our money where it's going, and we're making thoughtful decisions about it. This discipline allows the money to grow. It feels good.

The other benefit of the cash envelope system is that we're faithfully putting money into categories, such as our home, that previously never got funded. We'd always look at our checking balance and feel like we couldn't afford to spend money on this or that, so we wouldn't, unless it was an emergency. This way, we're designating some money each check to those previously unfunded categories. If we don't need to spend it, it grows. We'll be able to paint the house or purchase new carpet at some point, because we can see that the money's there.

So this Coffee Talk Thursday, let's talk budgets. Do you use one? Do you love it, or do you find a budget too restrictive? If so, I would encourage you to give it another try. I know some of you have said in the past that you use an electronic budget instead of a cash-envelope system. That's great, too. The envelopes just work better for me, since the cash is more tangible. I'd love to hear what's working for you.

(Linked to Frugal Friday)