Feeding Our Families with Love, Frugally

Coffee Talk Thursday

Cooking and baking for my guys is one of the most tangible ways I can show them how much I love them. While I enjoy preparing healthy, delicious, and attractive looking meals, as a one-income family, I do have to watch my grocery spending. We love lots of fresh produce, but it adds up fast. I budget $100/week for groceries (this includes paper products, cleaning products, and diapers). Fortunately, the last few weeks have been a little under, since I am now only buying diapers for one and not two.

Today, for Coffee Talk Thursday, I thought it would be fun to talk about some of the ways we save money at the store.

Here are some things I do:

• 
  
  Pay attention to the sales ads. By familiarizing myself with prices, I know when a sale is lackluster, and when it's a "cart-buster." I stock up when something is at a rock-bottom price.
• 
  
  I buy store-brand items, for the most part. But sometimes, the brand is on sale for less than the store-brand. When you're familiar with usual prices, sale prices, and the best-ever sale prices, you'll know when to buy a bunch at the best price.

image courtesy Karin Dalziel

• 
  
  One of my friends taught me a tip of buying produce that's on sale for .99/lb. or less. Since sales change week-by-week, you will get variety this way. I aim to shop for produce this way as much as possible. At the same time, fruits and vegetables are some of the best foods for my family; so buying them is kind of like an investment in their health. It's still hard for me, in my frugal nature, to spend $4 for a bag of spinach or $6 for a box of clementines, but I'm thinking I should realize it's ok to pay a bit more for the right foods for my family.
• 
  
  A beans and rice night is great once-a-week, or every few weeks. You can use it as a filling in tortillas with cheese, lettuce, tomato, avocado, sour cream (like tacos). There are many great recipes out there, so beans and rice does not have to be boring or bland.
• 
  
  A bag of flour costs about the same as one box of cereal. Yet from it, you can make oodles of breakfasts: muffins, scones, coffee cakes, pancakes, waffles, crepes. You can make your own snacks: cookies, quick breads, and more.
• 
  
  Quaker oats sometimes go on sale for $1 or $1.50 for the big canister. I bought seven canisters, I think, the last time it was on sale at that price. I bought a 5-gallon bucket at the Walmart bakery, and I store the oats in it.
• 
  
  I use some coupons. Our newspaper is fairly small, and the coupon inserts do not have the same coupons as a metro paper includes. I go online to coupons.com and print a few to use when the store has cereal and granola bars on sale. I like diaper coupons; there have been some good ones lately.
• 
  
  I try to find ways to creatively use leftovers and make new meals out of them.

image from ilovemypit

So I'm monopolizing the conversation. :) I want to hear what you do, and how you look at grocery
shopping--especially buying produce. Do you think we should just pay the going price for the produce we want, since it is an investment in our family's health; or do you sometimes grimace at some of the prices too?

(By the way, Friday will be the Mad Hungry: Feeding Men and Boys review and giveaway.)

Let's talk!

(linked to Frugal Friday)

How Internet Affects our Contentment with the Ordinary

image courtesy D. Sharon Pruitt

There is much to love about Internet access at home. There is also much to monitor. As wives and mothers, our struggle is much more subtle than what many men face on the web, but it can become an addiction just as easily.

“…they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house.”

 (1 Timothy 5:13)

While most of us do not literally go from house to house these days, the Internet provides an easy avenue of doing exactly what the apostle Paul warned women against. With a few keystrokes and the click of a mouse, we can instantly travel from “house to house”, blog by blog. When life within our home seems somewhat dull and ordinary (and let’s face it, that happens a lot), the Internet offers an easy and alluring way to lift our spirits.

As we go “house to house,” we can easily feel like life is more exciting in just about everyone else’s home, and ours is the only one that is so plain. This breeds discouragement and discontentment. The less confident we become in what we’re doing within our homes, the more we turn to blogs and other sites to provide encouragement, give us confidence, and an overall boost. The cycle perpetuates itself.

Unlike viewing certain sites (that rhyme with "corn"), visiting a tasteful blog or other helpful website is not in itself sinful. Quite the contrary. There are countless places providing great encouragement and resources for growing in Christ, marriage, motherhood, homemaking, homeschooling, budgeting and much more. They teach us how to shop wisely and save money; how to get a handle on schooling, housework, potty-training, temper tantrums, entertaining; and the list goes on. I have gleaned much wisdom from some high-quality blogs, and I hope to provide the same for you here at Moms In Need of Mercy.

The blessings of our online world can work against us, though, if we are not careful where we place our contentment. One can quickly realize just how addicted to the Internet she is by how difficult it is for her to go without it for a day or two, or more. I realize how addicted I am to it. (To be perfectly honest, checking email is the first thing I want to do in the morning. I discipline myself not to, but I can hardly get through breakfast dishes without feeling myself magnetically pulled to my laptop to check in for two minutes.)

“Modern inventions have provided a way for a woman to stay at home and still not be a keeper at home. We can sit at home in body while traveling in spirit by means of the telephone and the computer. You cannot keep your home and everybody else’s at the same time…

Keeping the home is more than staying at home; it is having a heart that is fixed on the home.”

--Created to Be His Help Meet

So if you realize this is more of a struggle in your life than you’d like, what do you do?

-Begin by repenting of any specific sins caused by this struggle (lack of contentment, neglecting home or children, etc.) and ask God for His help.

-Discipline yourself to limit your time online. I always feel convicted when I feel like I am showing my computer more personal attention than my children at any given time.

-It’s truly a heart issue. Going to the computer to print a few coupons, check your bank balance, read a few fun blogs is not a problem. But if the real reason I’m going to my computer is to find a higher degree of excitement than I feel in the midst of my relatively ordinary day, then for me, I know I need to work on being more content in my circumstances.

-The goal we’re aiming for is finding our joy fully in our relationship with the Lord first and foremost; then with our families, and in our homes. If we’ve got that down, the Internet won’t compete for attention we should be providing to our husbands, children, home, and other relationships. I think it’s a process to learn to be fully content where God’s called us, without any outside influences. Yet Paul assures us, it is possible:

“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:11-13).

Despite whatever impression we come away with from traveling "house to house," I am coming to believe--more and more--that few people feel like fairy dust falls at their house all day, every day. But we can make magical moments with our families--just not while we're on the Internet and they're off doing something else.

A Picture Worth A Thousand Words Explained

Every day, there are magical moments amidst the seemingly dull-dailiness of it all. Some days, we have to look harder for those moments than others. Today, the special moments I want to remember when my kids are grown and out of the house were much more glaringly obvious. I thank God for the laughter and the joy (last week was a bit rough).
Taking pictures of these hysterical moments preserves the mental picture for all time. (Plus, the images will make for some great slide-shows at their weddings. I’m a good mom like that). :)

So now for the story behind the photo—

My little guy (this is my middle son) was so excited to find his swim goggles buried in the sandbox. It was nearly 50-degrees out today (that’s balmy for us right now), and the boys were digging being outside (literally). That explains the wet sand all over his hand-me-down sweats that he picked out to wear today. From that point of discovery on, those goggles were plastered to his face. (He even ate dinner with them on. He is now sleeping with them off).

To burn off some of the boys’ energy, exercise the dog, and enjoy the nice spring-like day, we were heading out for a walk. My son was planning to go with his goggles on. We were heading to the small corner store, and I was really tempted to force him to take them off since he looked so silly. But then I realized that these goofy goggles were really special to him, and wearing them made him feel like a super-hero (or something like that?). Who was I to get in the way of a boy and his dreams? :)

When we allow our children a little creative expression, we are usually amazed, or at the very least humored, with the results. We make our children feel special when we give them some creative license (within reason). I could have told my son he looked extremely strange, and he was not allowed to go anywhere with the goggles on (except to a pool, which is obviously out of the question right now). But instead, I thought “What’s the big deal? Let’s go with it,” and I am so glad I did. If nothing else, I have a super funny picture he will beg me to destroy someday. But I won’t, because I cherish the magical memory it represents, and so will he.

These are the things we will look back on, yearningly, when it’s all said and done. Cherish them.

On a side note, I have been working on a post about how the super lies in the ordinary. It will be coming in the next few weeks. A friend and I were talking about it, and she told me about one blog's celebration of the ordinary moments in all of our lives. I was blessed by what they shared, and hope you will be too:

"Ordinary is where we all live most of the time. And yet our mundane, repetitive days are full of enduring work. Homes are being built. Families are being knit together. Little souls are being shaped for eternity.
The tedious is, in fact, momentous—when done for the sake of Christ: “…so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior” (Titus 2:10).
This truth can be lost in piles of laundry and dirty dishes. We need help to see the glory peaking out from behind the ordinary.
Our hope is that you’ll see your own ordinary, yet glorious life in these pictures. That you’ll glimpse the faithfulness of God that undergirds his faithful ones. That you’ll see reflections of the eternal in the everyday."
--girltalkhome.com

What silly, special moments are you celebrating today?

(linked to Works for Me Wednesday)

A Picture Worth A Thousand Words

"Hi, my name is Cheryl, and yes, this is my son."

(Yes, those are swimming goggles).

(Yes, this picture cracks me up everytime I look at it).

Care to caption?!

Seven More Habits of Highly Successful Housekeepers

Image courtesy of thekitchendesigner.org

When I wrote the Seven Habits of Highly Successful Housekeepers post, I asked my friend Jodi--mother of five children, twelve and under, and a highly successful homemaker--to share with me some of her habits that help to keep her house under control at all times. I was blessed by what she shared and am confident you will be too.

1. Get up plenty of time before the children. Proverbs 31 talks about rising when it is dark. I usually get up 1-1/2 - 2 hours before my children. This gives sufficient time for meaningful devotion time of reading and praying. It also allows me to put dishes in drainer away, move a load of laundry along, look over my list for the day, check email, turn on the Scentsy [wickless candle], etc. I cannot stress enough how this is probably the single most important factor in determining how my day goes. The key to remember: In order to this, I must be disciplined about getting the kids and myself to bed at a decent hour (always by 10 pm for me). And trust me, if you get up consistently by 5 or so, you will be tired by 10!
2. Don't allow children to make multiple large messes. This is very important to me. I don't mind play-doh, legos, Lincoln logs and trucks. They just can't be out at the same time, especially in the living room (I am much more relaxed about their rooms). Don't be afraid to have discipline consequences for disobedience. Most of the times that my children are confused is due to the fact that I am not consistent in my follow-through. My goal is to explain simply what needs to be done. Monitor their immediate obedience (or disobedience). Praise them or discipline them. And, yes, I spank for this. If I have asked them to do something and they refuse or delay, they are disobeying me. Period. This is very Biblical, loving and effective. The better I am in this area all the time the better my day goes.
3. Practice cleaning one area completely before a meal or snack, even if you might come back to it later. This accomplishes two things in our house. 1 - It reinforces the idea of good work ethic. You don't work, you don't eat. 2 - It gets one area of your house tidy. Again, assign the children a task while you do a task.
4. Invite people over often. Let's face it. Most people tidy up before guests arrive. So...invite someone over weekly. It can be for dinner, coffee or a just a play date. You will be motivated to have your house cleaned up (not perfection, but inviting) so that you can relax and enjoy yourself when guests are there. The more often you invite others over, the tidier it stays! Trust me.
5. Keep it clean. Cleaning shouldn't be a major overhaul. Doing a little bit, all of the time, is what my day consists of. This is not a burden any more than other "professional" jobs are. I am thrilled to be a stay-at-home mom and my husband will believe me if I delight in my children and my home! One other tidbit - I like to check email and blogs so I discipline myself in this area and make sure dishes and floors are done before I enjoy this pleasure.
6. Be scheduled. You know this would be a big one for me. Everything from naps, meals, outings, chores. Kids need boundaries, they delight in boundaries. This is not an elimination of freedom or fun, but parameters around it. Training is my job as a parent, and I have seen wonderful, happy results in eating, sleeping and playing by putting my children on eating and sleeping schedules from infancy. (Most of the frazzled mommies begging for relief are the ones that demand feed and have very light to no schedules. On the other hand, the ones that have scheduled naps and feedings seem much more relaxed, efficient and able to be involved in activities and ministry outside the home. I know this is not absolute, and trust me, I know there are always exceptions to the rule, but for the most part it is what I have consistently observed.) You know the old saying, "If momma ain't happy, ain't no one happy!" How true is that. If I am fatigued because I have been up all night with kids, the next day is probably not going to go as well as a well-rested mommy! [Moms In Need of Mercy here--Jodi and I approach this a bit differently. I tend to have more of a general routine, and more flexible feeding times. But I asked her to share the habits that work best for her (and her family), and this is one of them. If you think it could help your family, you can prayerfully consider becoming more scheduled. If you do not agree with a more formal schedule, that's fine too! God has created us all differently. We are to do that which we feel He is calling us to.]
7. Be willing to work hard! Some people ask, "What's your secret?" It's no secret. It's hard work, especially in the beginning, but I believe it is foundational to the training of children and letting them know from early on the roles of parents and children. And....it's worth it!!

Thanks, Jodi!

If, like me, you are working to improve your housekeeping habits, I encourage you to pick one area to concentrate the bulk of your efforts. As you see improvement, you can work on adding a new habit. Don't try to do everything all at once, or you--like someone begin to train for a triathlon--will burn out quickly.

I'm continuing to train my mental responses to do something immediately that I see needs to be done. I'm seeing improvement! I am also working on inviting people over regularly (at least once every couple of weeks). Jodi's right--it provides a benchmark for making sure your house is relatively tidy. Plus it's a great way to bless a friend, or even a stranger! The more comfortable you become with having people over, the more you realize it doesn't have to be perfect--just inviting (your spirit of hospitality has more to do with that than your home!).

Last week, I said we'd start link-ups for Messy Monday. So here we are! If you have a housekeeping tip that has helped you get it together, please link up a past or present post to encourage us all!

(I am having some problems getting the links to display properly. Please check back later).