Messy Monday: Routine Maintenance or Lack Thereof

If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you may remember that about a year ago, I mentioned that our local school district wanted to buy our home (and others on our street) to expand the high school we live next to. Well, that time has finally come, and we have slightly over two weeks to pack up and move out. (I have seen so many answers to really specific prayers through this time that I feel peaceful. The testimony of this time is a great subject for another post).

 

(not my desk! Photo Credit)

One of the biggest things I've realized is--why did I not carve out time along the way for routine maintenance of certain tasks? Instead, I let them go, choosing to spend my time with the more urgent instead of what appeared optional. And now, that is biting me in the behind.

Today, I spent an hour finally sorting my desk. I put things away that have been waiting to return to their proper home for...(I'm embarrassed to say) months.  The whole process didn't take as long as I thought it would, making me wonder why I avoided it for so long.

Lesson: in the new house, take 15-20 minutes a week (perhaps Sunday afternoon?) to order my desk.

My other big project today: sorting through magazines that have accumulated, waiting to be flipped through.

First, I don't receive many magazines to begin with because I can't keep up, but I like Better Homes & Gardens, and Taste of Home. I also have some Family Circle and Everyday Food issues I've wanted to thumb through. But, as most moms know, when you're busy with kids and dinner and dishes, taking time in the evening to flip through a magazine is a luxury that never presents itself. The magazine doesn't scream, "Pay attention to me!"; the baby does.

So I quickly went through a stack, ripping out pages of recipes to try and decorating ideas to file. Now to finish doing that before it remains undone and catches up with me...

Lesson: If you're busy, limit (or eliminate) your magazines.  Carve out time once a week (or month) to look through the latest issue. File what you want to keep. Throw the rest away, or give the whole thing away to a hospital, library, etc.

Overall lesson: no task becomes unbearable if we carve out time regularly and routinely (such as the same time every week or month) to just get it done. 

What is your worst one that you consistently put off, and how can you make a plan to tackle it this week? The ones I've dreaded the most have taken less than an hour (I thought they would take hours!)


Sharing With:
We are That Family (Works for Me Wednesday)
Women Living Well
Raising Homemakers
Deep Roots at Home

Modest Mom

Disconnected, yet Connected to the Ones Who Matter Most

I've obviously been on a bit of an Internet fast, some of it self-imposed and some of it through circumstances. We took a two-week trip to visit my family and camped along the way. While I brought my lap-top with me, most places didn't have wireless, and when we did have it, I just realized I would rather make the most of my time with my family.

Some things I noticed while being disconnected from the world wide web:

• Social media creates clutter. It is amazing how quickly my inbox fills with junk! As we talk about clearing the clutter from our homes, social media creates a huge amount of clutter that I don't think we're aware of on a daily basis. But when you step away from it for nearly 20 days, and come back to hundreds of messages--mostly status updates and notifications from Facebook (and I can't imagine if I was on Twitter)--you realize how massively it all adds up. All of this requires an investment of daily maintenance to keep it from piling up. Is it really worth it? Do I really need to know that an acquaintance is drinking lemonade down by the river on a 100-degree day? (not a real update). 
• Those moments when we just pop on the computer real quick--what is the motivation behind that? Are we a little bit bored? Are we looking for a little spark to liven things up in a monotonous day? What would we do in that moment if we didn't have the Internet to turn to? Would that be a better use of our time? Would our children appreciate a moment with Mom? (Yes).
• Slowing down, and taking those moments to fully engage with my kids, brought us all closer in a way. Getting away from the busy daily routine gave me some time to appreciate and enjoy my children more. I wasn't nagging them, ahem, reminding them, to clean up their breakfast plates and take them to the dishwasher, do their chores, pick up their clothes... We just had fun together. And while vacation is downtime, in the even more downtime moments, I wasn't turning to the computer, I was turning to them. (By the way, I notice some of the problem behaviors we've been dealing with are vastly improved. I think in large part, it's due to the extra attention they received). 
• After the first few days of breaking that magnetic draw to the computer, I find I really didn't miss it. When I could get on the Internet, I didn't really want to anymore. I had witnessed all of the positive effects of not being plugged in.

So while I was disconnected from friends' status-updates, blog posts, online news and more, I was connected to the ones who matter most: my family members. Now that we're home, I'm trying to keep in the forefront of my mind: disconnect to connect. I'm grateful for the time away to realize this lesson.

Sharing with:
Women Living Well
We are that Family
Heavenly Homemakers
Raising Homemakers

Home Management=Stress Management

"Establishing and caring for a home is so much more than a decorating dilemma or an organizational challenge or a call to love one's family! It is a commitment of heart, mind, and soul to the task of subduing (making productive) a very specific part of the earth--the domain of the home. It involves teaching minds and nurturing hearts and shaping souls, in addition to getting the rugs vacuumed and dinner on the table!"--Sally Clarkson, The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity

Manage: transitive verb


1: to handle or direct with a degree of skill: as a : to make and keep compliant <can't manage their child> b : to treat with care : husband <managed his resources carefully>
c : to exercise executive, administrative, and supervisory direction of <manage a business>
2: to work upon or try to alter for a purpose <manage the press>
3: to succeed in accomplishing : contrive <managed to escape from prison>
4: to direct the professional career of <an agency that manages entertainers>

As home managers, we do all of the above. We handle and direct our homes with (ideally) ever-increasing degrees of skill, we treat it (and the people within it) with care, we exercise supervisory direction of all that goes on inside, we have a purpose for our work beyond what the eye can see, we aim to succeed in accomplishing our goals, and--despite what society thinks--homemaking is a professional career!

I've always thought of home management as working hard to keep up on what needs to be done (trying to stay afloat) in order to bless my family, but I've never really thought of it as a stress-reduction system--until I read Sally Clarkson's insight in The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity.

"My purpose in organizing my household is not to live up to some external value system, but to make life easier and more peaceful for the whole family. I have learned that I can reduce the anxiety we feel by reducing the stressors, at the same time knowing that they will never totally go away...

Effective home management can do a lot to reduce the stress in our families. Once I began thinking of home management as stress reduction, I found it much easier to pinpoint the areas in my home life that needed attention and to come up with a plan for reducing the stress."

Sally believes the three biggest stresses fall into the categories of stuff, information (papers), and time. Making a specific plan to effectively manage each of these areas, daily and a "purge" day every few months, can help tremendously to lighten our subconscious (or perhaps very conscious!) stress level, thereby creating a more peaceful feeling in the hearts and minds of each of our family members.

For me, one of the areas that is causing the greatest stress is laundry. Not getting it washed or dried, but getting it put away. Actually, even that isn't so hard...but the bottom of each basket contains what I'll call a "layer of sediment"--assorted mismatched socks, outgrown clothes that need to be given away, out-of-season clothes that need to be packed away. The bottom third of every laundry basket I own is filled with this kind of stuff; I just need to intentionally take time this week to deal with it. While what's lurking in the bottom of the laundry baskets doesn't bother anyone but me, everyone will enjoy a more peaceful home when this task gets done, because I'll feel more peaceful, and thus, they will, too.

Everyone in our family--especially our husbands--probably has different problem areas that really bother them and make the home less of the restful haven it should be. In Large Family Logistics, Kim Brenneman quotes organizational and homemaking expert Emilie Barnes' advice of asking our husbands daily if there is anything specific we can do for them that day. I would modify by encouraging us to ask specifically what in our homes our husbands would most like to see us do, if we could only do one extra project each day.

May we intentionally look this week at ways we can improve our home management and thereby decrease our stress!

(linked to the Homemaking link-up at Raising Homemakers and Deep Roots at Home)

Planning for a Good Day

One of the essential ingredients to a successful day is a good plan. While a plan cannot foresee, nor prevent, interruptions or the actions and attitudes of others, it can keep us on track when we would otherwise succumb to temporary disarray. Staring wide-eyed in wonder is a good thing when we are beholding God’s creation, but it’s not so pleasant when we are looking around at our house in chaos, wondering what to do next. A plan keeps us trekking.


“It is most important to set goals and write your list for the day,” writes Nancy Campbell in her devotional book for mothers. “Some mothers like to write their list the night before, others like to do it in the early morning quiet before the start of the day. You will accomplish a lot more with a list. But remember, it’s not the end of the world if you don’t cross off everything on your list!...Even if you cross off one or two things, you are accomplishing something. When my children were little, sometimes I would only complete one extra task! At least it was better than nothing at all!”

Because every personality is different, there is no one right way to plan. Some prefer the by-the-clock method of planning, where every project or chore is assigned a set time; others like to list things to do before noon and things to do after noon; and others prefer a more relaxed approach of jotting down some general goals for the day, accomplishing them as they move through the day and the list. I think I fall in the latter category, although I have tried having a time for everything. Personally, while wonderful in theory, I found that approach a little too time consuming to create and stressful to manage.

“It is more important to set the right tone in your home and create an atmosphere of rest, peace, and harmony, than to make everyone tense by getting through something just for the sake of getting through it.” ---Nancy Campbell


Somewhere, I once came across a planning sheet that you could use with each of your children each day. You would write down goals in different areas, such as motor skills (a few hands-on projects to do) and cognitive skills (work-sheet pages, reading, math, etc.). I thought this was a great idea.

Lately, I’ve been jotting down daily to-do goals in these areas: spiritual, marriage, parenting, fitness (ideally!). I write down what books I plan to read out loud to the kids (right now it’s Family-Time Bible in Pictures,The House at Pooh Corner,and A Child's History of the World,in addition to any others they select through the day) and what learning activities we’ll do (math projects, handwriting, phonics/reading).

I’m also listing my homemaking and organizational goals each day. I’m starting to focus on the old-fashioned but highly effective system of devoting a day each the week to a specific task, such as laundry day, kitchen day, and cleaning day. I will write more about this in one of my next posts.

At the end of a long day, creating a plan for the next day is a step that’s easy to skip. I feel like I can save time and just wing it. Yet, saving a few minutes then costs me later. So yes, I could wing it. But it feels better (and goes better) when I plan it.

Part 1: I Didin't Plan for Chaos!
(Linked to Raising Homemakers and Works for Me Wednesday)

I Didn't Plan for Chaos

copyright Moms In Need of Mercy

Today was just a day. I didn't plan for it to be the way it was. But then again, I didn't really plan for success, either. Going to bed with nothing more than a vague plan for the coming day allowed a whole lot of chaos to enter in. Just the general structure of: "I'll get up, make some breakfast, throw in a load of laundry, start homeschool stuff, and maybe run some errands" just left way too much free time for everything to fall apart. And it did.

Although I have a homeschool routine down for my oldest son (he's six; it doesn't take that long), I didn't really have any structured activities for my other two boys, 3 and almost 5. So they made up their own. Really creative play with manipulatives, like dumping out our small crock that sits on the kitchen counter and holds spare change, keys, and other random items. Now this was all over the kitchen floor. Since baby sister is starting to crawl, and since I would like to avoid another coin-swallowing event, we had to get the change off the floor.

Today's obedience department was closed. But the disobedience section was full of customers. The sole clerk (Mom) grew tired meeting the back-to-back demand for attention and correction.

Really, it's the phone's fault. It rang way too much today. Despite my requests to please let the answering machine get it, sometimes, one of the boys just allowed his desire to be friendly to outweigh his desire to obey Mom--although today, I'm not sure there even was a desire to obey Mom...

So I'd get on the phone, and the boys would get into the cereal--even though they had just eaten lunch. I'd get off the phone, clean up more food messes, and the phone would ring again. And the boys would do their own thing while I was on the phone, which wasn't necessarily a good thing, and usually incurred fighting, whereby one boy would start crying and trying to talk to me while I was still trying to talk to someone else on the other end of the phone. (This is a good way to get off the phone, though, if you're looking for an excuse to cut a call short...)

Nearing the end of the day, we decided to take a walk. Which would have been fine, except for the fact that when we reached the nearby playground, one son came running up to me and announced, "I have to poop!" Yet, off he went to play for a few more seconds, until he would run up to me again and make the same announcement, and then go play again. This happened several times. It was time to go, but no one would go (for reasons above), even though one really had to go.

Finally, everyone decided to obey and home we went. Just a little way from the house, one of the boys decided to top it all off by taking a mud bath. He wasn't trying to. He was only trying to copy his brothers who were climbing snow drifts piled up in our high school's parking lot. He climbed, then climbed down...into mud, and got stuck. As in quick-sand stuck. Me, wearing my new white Marmot parka my husband got me for Christmas, wanted no part of the rescue. But he was totally stuck. So I reached out to him from the curb, and told him he was absolutely not to touch my coat (he obeyed on this one), and I grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the mud. Somewhere in the rescue, he face-planted. But the coat made it out unscathed.

What all this taught me today is that by not more clearly planning for success, I did in fact, plan for chaos.

My next post will address planning for a successful day. I just have to plan one.

(If you like this post, can I humbly ask you to take a second to vote for it here?)
(linked to Raising Homemakers)
Part 2: Planning for a Good Day

The 30 Minute Principle

photo credit

The list of things I'm falling behind on grows by the minute. It's beginning to look a lot like those giant Christmas lists Santa unrolls in the movies. For example, when I learned I was having a girl this time around, I purchased material to sew some adorable clothes in Making Children's Clothes. I'm a beginner seamstress; I just haven't begun.

Another example--
My third son (who just turned three and can't say his "j's" yet) looked at the wall of pictures the other day and said, "Mom, where's Whack in these pictures?" (His name is Jack). Yeah, no pictures of him on the wall anywhere. In fact, his baby book isn't even begun.

That's why I love the 30 minute principle:
Work at something every day--be it a creative project like scrapbooking or sewing, or a necessary project like putting laundry away--for 30 focused minutes (or as many focused minutes as you can with small children in the house). Set a timer if you want. When the 30 minutes is over, put the project away for the day, and start again the next day where you left off.

I read about this idea in Teri Maxwell's book Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit (which is fabulous, by the way). She says that disorganization can be one of the biggest hindrances to a meek (not easily perturbed) and quiet (gentle) spirit. I definitely find that to be true in my own life. This 30-minute principle, although referenced in Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit, is actually from her other book, Managers of Their Homes.

So whether it's getting your house under control, or finding time to work on a hobby, I encourage you to find a way to put the 30 minute principle into action! That half hour is a perfect length of time to get something accomplished without getting burned out (especially when you're cleaning or organizing). Thirty minutes a day, then stop until the next day. You may find yourself even looking forward to it...unless of course, the job that's been put off too long is cleaning out the fridge!

(linked up at Works for Me Wednesday)

Late for Pickup

Motherhood is full of so many delightful firsts: first smiles, first words, first steps. Then there are the not-so-pleasant firsts: the first time you lose your temper, the first time you make a mistake, the first time you're late to pick up your kids.

That happened to me today. And I felt terrible.

It was AWANA night at church. Not having been out of the house all week, I was feeling a little stir-crazy and was excited to drop off the boys, leave the little ones behind with Daddy, and head to the store for some shopping and sanity. Before I left the house, I made sure to find my watch and put it on so that I wouldn't be wandering around in Walmart (the Mom getaway) long past pickup time. 

As I browsed and picked up a birthday present and some items on my grocery list, I kept checking my watch to make sure I wasn't running late. I checked out with 15-20 minutes to spare before pickup time, which presented a dilemma: arrive early and visit with whichever friends happened to be there early as well, or make a quick run without kids to Walgreens, which was on the way. The running-in-without kids sounded really appealing and won over.

Big mistake. By the time I had found the five packages of toilet paper I was buying, the two dish soaps, the two Cover Girl concealers (which were .49 cents each after coupons), and checked out with my coupons, I was already a few minutes late for pickup. Right then, this whole trip just seemed silly. So I was getting a great deal on the t.p. and the dish soap, but really? My kids are so much more important to me than my Charmin and Cover Girl.

Since I don't have a cell phone, there was no one I could call to say I was on my way. It seems like when you're in a hurry, you always get behind the slowest driver in the world, and this night was no exception.

Finally, I arrived at church...25 minutes after they are supposed to be picked up. I thought that surely there would still be some kids and moms there. But no, it was just the AWANA commander and my boys, one in tears, because all the other kids had long since been picked up and taken home and yet their mommy wasn't there. He said he thought he was going to "have to stay at church for a long, long time."

I could have told him the Bible story of Hannah and Samuel, how she left her son with Eli in the temple for ever, but I didn't. :)

Lesson learned: errands always take longer than anticipated. If you think you can squeeze in just one more itty bitty thing before x, y, or z, you probably can't. Err on the side of caution if it matters to you to not be late. (The plus side is I am stocked up on toilet paper for a good long while, though). ;)

It Was Just a Test

I awoke this morning to blaring sirens. The emergency alarms in our city were sounding over and over again. I jumped out of bed, complete with nursing infant in my arms (no longer nursing), and rushed over to the door of our upstairs master bedroom so I could hear the announcement following the sirens.

"Take cover immediately. A tornado warning has been issued. Take cover immediately," urged the robotic voice of the pre-recorded siren message.

But it was snowing softly...

Maybe there was warm air high above?

Thoroughly puzzled, I booked it downstairs, where my husband had fallen asleep in our boys' bedroom, after he had gone down to help them in the middle of the night, since they are sick. We were all awake and confused. Ready for the tornado--the kids in their warm footy jammies, me in my fleece bathrobe, the baby in her nightie, and my husband in his...well...Hanes.

Turns out the morning news host was confused, as well. When we finally fumbled around and found: 1) an alarm clock downstairs, and 2) the proper radio station, the host was saying he thought it must be a glitch.
My husband thought the emergency management coordinator hit the wrong button on his alarm clock this morning: "tornado warning siren", instead of "snooze."

What a way to wake up on a rainy, 39-degree morning, otherwise perfect for staying under the covers for a few extra minutes.

The benefit of the glitchy sirens is they roused me from my bed, bright and early (ok, at 7:00). But that's better than staying in bed until almost 8:00. I got up and got going, just like in the pre-4th-baby days. Despite our nudgings, the sick kids chose not to go back to sleep and woke up, too.


Having everyone up early worked out great. I have to say that using that 7-8:00 hour sure made the day more productive. It ran more smoothly from the get-go.

Even if there isn't a tornado warning tomorrow morning, I think I'll get up and get moving as if there is.

Tips for Organizing Kid's Toys and the House

I could open a toy store with the sheer volume and assortment of toys we have for our boys. But to them, the toy store is boring. No matter how many they have, they seem to only play with a few favorites, leaving the rest to clutter up the basement floor/play room. Should I pack up all the toys and donate them to charity?

While that is certainly one option, there is another way, which rotates the toy selection and keeps things fresh and exciting. Zesty.

Buy some Bankers Boxes and fill them with toys. (The best price I found was at Sam's Club: 10 for $18; Office Max was four for $18.) They look like this:


You could box toys according to category, such as monster trucks and bulldozers in one, Little People in another, electronic toys (like Buzz Lightyear in another. Or, the option that my husband thought would be best would be to just box up an assortment of toys, so there are multiple choices to play with when that box is opened.

Here's how the system works and the rotation comes in:

I read in an Emilie Barnes' book once (I think it was More Hours in My Day: Proven Ways to Organize Your Home, Your Family, and Yourself) that to organize your home, you box up all unused items in the banker's boxes (they are recommended because they stack well and are durable). Number each box. Then, on a rolodex, list each box number on a card and record on that card what is inside. For example, if you are looking for the box with the Transformer toys, or the Christmas decorations, you can easily flip through the cards and find what number box the item is in. (It would probably make most sense to file the box number for Christmas decorations under the "C's").

Setting up this system certainly takes some time, but I believe (and I come to believe more and more with the more children I have!) that the rewards are worth it. I remember reading in The Duggars: 20 and Counting!: Raising One of America's Largest Families--How they Do Itthat this is the system Michelle Duggar went with after she had her fifth child. She wrote that she either had to do something or she was going to go under. That's where I'm at now, with four kids!

Getting back to how this works with toys, simply rotate the selection once every few days or once every week, at your choosing. This way you ensure the toys you've purchased with your hard-earned money are played with more than once. It also helps keep the kids from getting bored with the same toys. Mostly, it helps keep the toy clutter under control, since there can only be one boxful of items out at any one time.
(And if you want to donate a box or two to charity, that's fine too!).

(linked to Works for Me Wednesday)

Finding a Focus

Has your house ever been so messy and so chaotic that you feel like you're going to have a panic attack? Mine has. Everywhere I look, I feel overwhelmed. My head starts to spin. The dishes are backed up. The laundry's backed up. There are piles everywhere. Clothes. Toys. Books. Clutter. I feel like I'm living in chaos.
In moments like these, it's important to just get busy and do something. Anything. Take 10 minutes and load the dishwasher. Get the dishes out of the sink. Looks better. Now do something else for 10 minutes. Just keep working in short chunks, working around the kids, interruptions, tantrums, phone calls. The key is to just keep plugging away here and there, as you have time, using those minutes. You will soon notice progress. You will soon feel better.

Maybe it's not your house. Maybe for you, it's your schedule. Maybe you're so busy that you feel overwhelmed. Do you feel like you can't focus?
 
No matter what the source of our disclarity, just find something to focus on. Plug away at the task directly before you, without allowing yourself to panic about what else is also laying ahead. Focus on the minute at hand. Like the saying--"How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."
 
Tackle whatever need's tackling in manageable chunks. You may be amazed at how quickly the fog clears when we're putting a lot of productivity into a few minutes. (See this post for more on that).

Don't Let Your Labors Take Too Long

I read once that extreme perfectionists tend not to clean very often. The reason is, if they feel like they can't do an immaculate job right then, they'd rather not do the job at all. So routine tasks are put off indefinitely and the deep cleaning rarely gets done either, because when in life is there ever that much time available?

Recently, I observed this in action in someone's life whom I know well. Cleaning a bathroom should not take two days. I would argue it should not even take two hours (unless it is in particularly bad shape with excessive clutter to clear away first). But if one stretches the job to make it take a massive amount of time, it's no wonder one will burnout and not want to clean regularly (as in a fairly quick, weekly tune-up).

Our mothers and grandmothers reserved deep cleaning tasks for fall and spring. There is a reason for this. Deep cleaning like that cannot reasonably be done every week. Cleaning any room (or the entire house) top-to-bottom twice a year is still a pretty big undertaking.  That's why it was limited to twice a year.

This Labor Day, I encourage you to limit your labors. It is more important to clean kitchen counters, floors, and bathrooms regularly (even if it is not perfectly thorough) than to spend hours scrubbing every nook and cranny. Reserve those not-so-urgent or obvious tasks for once-a-month deep cleaning days or fall or spring cleaning. That way, at least the routine stuff will still be accomplished and the house will be relatively neat and tidy. It doesn't have to be perfect, just sanitary and presentable.

Related post: The Disastrous Pairing of Disorganization and Perfectionism

How the Cash Envelope System Can Work with Chores

Our cash envelope system continues to work well for us, helping us discipline and track our spending and save in various areas. With the system, as you probably know, you put a certain amount of money in each envelope, spending it as needed. But the goal is to spend as little as possible in order to save as much as possible and see that money grow.

I think the same principle can work in our homes in reverse. Let me explain.

Instead of putting money in envelopes, you'll put a list of chores--written on index cards--in six envelopes, one for each day of the week (I suggest taking the Sabbath off for rest). Whereas with the cash envelopes where you'll aim to move through the money as slowly as possible, with the envelope chore card system, you'll aim to "spend" them (or move through them) as quickly as possible each day.

How to make this work, practically speaking? First, think through what needs to be done in your home on a weekly basis. Write these chores down on a sheet of paper. Note how often they need to be done. (For example, with boys, I need to do at least a quick clean of our bathroom every day or every few days. With laundry, I have to do at least two loads a day to stay on top of it. Then I have to put those away each day.) If you need ideas of what should be done weekly, I've found these books helpful: Confessions of a Happily Organized Family and Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House. (Check if your library has one or both, or do an Internet search on suggested weekly cleaning chores).

Then look over your list and transfer the chores to index cards (one chore per card). Divide those up as evenly as possible into the envelopes. Don't spend too much time figuring out if you'd rather mop on Monday or on Wednesday, dust and vacuum on Tuesday or Friday--although, if you know a certain day of the week is particularly busy for you, put fewer chores in that day's envelope.

With little children, you could draw pictures on the index cards to illustrate the chore. If they're capable of doing it, they can "spend" that card. One of my boys, in particular, loves getting in our cash envelopes (and really loves finding the bigger bills). So now he can have an envelope system I don't mind him digging through. Maybe if he does a good job, he can earn some money from a cash envelope--just not as large of a bill as he would hope for (a one, not a one with two zeroes.) :)

I think we'll make some chore envelopes in the morning, complete with pictures. I'm thinking three to five chores each day is a good start. (We can always build from there as needed). Then we'll aim to work through them as quickly as possible for the day.

The Colonial Housewife

At a book discard for our local school district, I picked up some really neat history books, among others. Today, I was browsing through a book called Life in Colonial America by Elizabeth George Speare. It was written in 1963 and features information collected from diaries, letters, travelers' tales and reconstructed colonial villages to paint a "vivid tapestry of everyday life" in humble New England.

One section I particularly enjoyed reading was called "The Goodwife at Home." The author shares details from diaries kept in 1775 from two young sisters. Here's what they had to do each day:

• spin two pounds of flax
• washed, scoured, made cheese
• sanded the parlor
• knit worsted stockings
• hatcheled and carded wool and flax (I'm not even sure what that means,without researching it)

Here's a great quote: "Reading the diaries, one wonders where they found hours enough in the day, and also whether they ever rebelled at the never-ending round of chores. Perhaps not, for they had never seen their mother or any of their young friends with idle hands."

Some other great quotes on daily life as a colonial housewife:

Regarding brides: "When a young bride crossed the threshold of her own home, she did so with confidence, taking with her a dowry of linens spun and woven by her own hand, and a sure knowledge of how to use every new pot and kettle that hung by her hearth."
(Fewer women in today's culture are being trained in the art of housekeeping from their mothers. I wonder how many marry with great confidence in housekeeping skills...I am still learning as I go along.)

Regarding strength training: "She needed to bring to her new home, as well, patience and strong muscles. The labor of the colonial housewife was backbreaking drudgery. In a frontier settlement, housekeeping was only part of her duties; she helped to clear the land and build the house and plant the crops as well. Even when she lived in a village of snug, comfortable houses, her daily tasks filled every hour from sunrise to long after sunset."

On cooking: 
"Many of the housewife's day was consumed in preparing meals. Every step of the preparation had to be done the hard way, with heavy, awkward equipment. Someone has written that the great kettles seem more suitable for giants to handle than for women. Yet in the course of her day every woman filled and lifted and toted and scoured them in her struggle to provide food for her family."
(The meals had to be prepared and cooked whether she felt like it or not. There was no Hamburger Helper for those busy or too-tired-to-cook days.)

Laundry:
First they had to make their own soap and then:
"Washday was a burdensome affair of hauling and heating water. The snowy white napkins and tablecloths which were a housewife's pride were only earned by painful scrubbing, especially in the days before forks. In addition, there was the daily cleaning of the kettles, the scouring away of grease and black soot with sand or rushes. The hearth had to be kept immaculate, and the floor swept and covered with a fine layer of clean sand which served in place of a rug."

On bathing:

"In cool weather, all water for family bathing also had to be hauled and heated. A hot bath in a tub before the roaring fire must have been a real luxury, and we can scarcely blame our ancestors if perhaps this was not a very frequent affair." 

On clothing and bedding:
"In most colonial households every single garment worn by the family had to be made by the women from the raw flax and wool produced on their own land. In addition, they wove all the bedding, the window and bed hangings, the rugs, and even the twine. The long process from plant to cloth is unbelievably complicated and wearisome, yet women for thousands of years had taken it for granted, and so did women in America."

(Today, I browsed JC Penney and Motherhood Maternity online, as well as ebay, in search for a new pair of maternity capris).

"Women could never afford to have their hands idle for a moment." 

And yet, on the art of making a beautiful home:

"There was so little beauty in the lives of colonial women--perhaps one cherished heirloom, a silver candlestick brought in a trunk from England...The longing for lovely things showed in the pride women brought to their daily work, the scouring to keep the pewter gleaming, the endless bleachings when natural linen would have served their families just as well, the hot hours over sticky, vile smelling dye pots to produce a bit of color. And somewhere in their unimaginably busy days, women found the time to create pretty things" (such as embroidery, lace, crochet, quilts, flower gardens). (Bold mine)

In reading this, I am filled with such an appreciate for these hard-working women. What an inspiring example they can be for us today. Reading about their lives makes me even more grateful that we live in a much easier time, which I think I easily take for granted. Today, there are countless sources for clothing, linens, and any other cloth we need. Sewing can be a fun hobby, not a skill vital to our family's survival. When we need new socks, I just add that to the list and swing by that aisle at the store. I don't have to prepare wool and then knit the socks. I can cook as elaborately, or as simply, as I desire; and if I don't feel like cooking on any given night, there are so many options: pulling something from the freezer or the cupboard, going to a drive-through, going out to eat, even just eating a bowl of cereal.  I throw our laundry in the washer and the dryer without so much as a second thought, fold it and put it away (sometimes with a sigh), but how many times easier do I have it each day than if I were a colonial housewife? It's no wonder they so cherished the Sabbath rest.

While these women could have had much to whine about, I like to think they chose not to. Perhaps they were too busy for such inward focus. Perhaps they felt an important sense of worth, instilled with the knowledge of how vital their daily work was for their family's well-being (and survival). I love the quote that their desire for beauty in their homes came through in the pride they brought to their never-ending list of tasks.

At the start of each new day, sure I have some tasks to accomplish. But I also have plenty of time for leisure pursuits. I can choose to take the boys on a walk to the park. We can go to events in town (in our motor vehicle, no less). We can go to the pool, if we want to. I can surf the web. I can call a friend. My family isn't going to starve and risk having nothing to wear if I neglect all chores imaginable and decide to fill the day with fun instead.

While I celebrate the freedom our modern era affords in terms of time for leisure opportunities, I am challenged by the example provided by the colonial housewives. If they could do all they did in a day, I think I can certainly step up my home management a notch or two. After reading their stories, I feel ashamed to complain--even if it's just inwardly--about not wanting to clean up the kitchen after dinner (or any other task I would rather skip to be able to go relax). Not only can I do those tasks, I can do them with pride. My day is still infinitely easier than theirs. We're 21st century women, but we can still learn much from those who lived before us.

(sharing with Raising Homemakers for the Homemaking link-up)

What's a Minute Worth?

Last week, I picked up my copy of A Woman After God's Own Heart and came across this quote in regard to time management:
"How much is a minute worth? It's priceless or worthless--depending on how you use it."

Thinking about the results that can be accomplished in a minute well spent reminded me of my housework rewards program  I brainstormed last year--not a real rewards program, but a fun idea to reward using each minute to its fullest.

In A Woman After God's Own Heart®, Elizabeth George writes about the wise woman who builds her house (Proverbs 14:10). Conversely, she asks "how can a woman pull down her own home?" She shares that a woman can cause great destruction actively--through anger and through speaking words that "break, destroy, ruin and kill."

Yet, a woman can also ruin her home by being too passive--by "simply failing to work." She writes, "We can slowly erode the foundation of our home by our laziness, by 'never getting around to it,' (whatever 'it' may be), by neglect, by forgetting to pay a bill or two, by successfully putting things off, by not spending enough time at home. Then there's the problem of too much--too much TV, too much reading, too much shopping, too much time with friends, too much time spent on the telephone, and the latest 'too much'--too much time on the Internet."

These words were quite convicting to me, and I made a recommitment to pack a little more work--a little more exertion-- into some of the minutes of my day. Elizabeth George challenges us to find at least one thing each day we can do to build our homes. What is that one thing for you today?

An Intentional Year

Very rarely do things just happen.  Actions are always a result of specific decisions. Even choosing not to act is, in itself, a decision. In thinking about the year ahead, whether or not one wants to call them "resolutions," it's helpful to envision what we hope to accomplish intentionally in 2011.

We can make intentional choices to better many aspects of our lives, including:

• our spiritual lives
• relationships
• finances
• health
• home-management/efficiency
• educational growth (subjects we wish to study, whether through classes or books)
• learning new skills

To accomplish growth in our desired areas, we must devise an intentional plan. Hoping to do something, and seeing if it just happens to come to pass, will not bring it to fruition. Let's identify specific things we can do each day to bring about the growth we desire.  

If I'm in the kitchen in the afternoon, I enjoy listening to Intentional Living with Dr. Randy Carlson on my kitchen radio. His theme is "the power of one thing"--asking ourselves, "What is the one thing we can do today to yield a difference in our lives?" Each day, our "one thing" may be different, but there is always at least one thing we can do intentionally in at least one of the areas I mentioned above (spiritual life, relationships, finances, etc.).

So here are a few of my intentional goals for the year ahead:

• Get dressed upon rising (harder to hit chaos first-thing)
• Blog in the morning (or evening) and then turn off the computer for the rest of the day (allowing myself a quick computer check when 2/3 boys are napping)
• Seriously save for my medical costs and the baby's
• Print off some of the massive amounts of pictures stored on our computers and work on my boys' scrapbooks
• Exercise, beyond normal active life with three little boys:), at least three days a week during my pregnancy
• Continue to find ways to trim our grocery expenses while still eating nutritiously (or more nutritiously!)

What about you? What are some of your intentional goals/resolutions for the year ahead?

(linked to Frugal Friday at lifeasmom.com)

Morning, Afternoon, Evening Routines

In Large Family Logistics, author Kim Brenneman (mother of nine) shares the secret to keeping a consistently tidy and clean house is "as simple as keeping a daily chore time." It encouraged me to read that I am not doing something wrong that my house can get so messy during the course of a day. She writes, "When a large family lives in a home twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, things get dirty, messes are made, clutter is left lying around, and small children create chaos. Yes, it will be a mess. That's a fact. But don't let it discourage you, just get to work. Make housework a habit that happens without a great deal of thought, and it will become much easier to do."

When we neglect consistent chore times, our houses can all too easily become pig pens. I've always thought of pig pens as being very messy, but Mrs. Brenneman's description brought new life to the meaning:
"Pigs root around with their noses, turning over anything and everything in order to find something to eat. This process is very destructive to the place where they are kept. They eat anything and everything. Pigs wallow and move their bodies around in dirt in order to create a bed. When it rains in their wallow, it becomes a mud bath where they take residence until cold weather comes. And when they pile on top of each other, they routinely suffocate the pigs at the bottom of the pig pile. This is not a happy site or a model we should emulate!" Imagine papers piled several places, that one shuffles through and stacks; clothes strewn around, traces of meals still in the kitchen; and toys everywhere. New messes are never cleared up entirely but only added to each day. Things sure stack up.

So what's the solution?

Performing a morning, afternoon, and evening chore time, every single day to keep things  from piling up. That way the house is always just a few minutes away from welcoming guests. Yet, if chores are skipped for a few days or a week, the house "looks like a pig pen and will take an extended period of time to straighten and clean." (I've learned this the hard way).

I blogged about creating a morning routine, so let's focus today on an afternoon routine. What does it consist of? Here are suggestions from Large Family Logistics:

• Pick a time (before Dad gets home if possible, maybe at 4pm)
• Light a candle, put on some fun music, create a fun atmosphere
• Get everyone involved
• Kids pick up and put away their toys
• Pick up and throw away trash
• Dust with a feather duster or cloth
• Older children can be assigned a room to tidy up (after you've instructed what needs to be done)
• When room chores are done, kids can work on bedroom chores (if they are little, we as moms will have to do the bulk of the work, but our kids should be alongside us so they are training for what they will do soon enough)
• Mrs. Brenneman suggests doing a deep cleaning chore of the day after room chores and bedroom chores are done (I don't think this would be manageable for me right now)
• Get yourself ready for your husband's arrival and start dinner
• Then once the house is clean, assign the kids a sit time, where they can look at/read books, or play a quiet game before dinner (pick-up sticks, Uno, Skip-bo, etc.

An important disclaimer as we go about the process:

Sometimes, I'll admit I get way too stressed out and uptight when the kids toys are scattered everywhere and the house looks chaotic. In an effort to clean it up, I'm an irritated drill sergeant, and it was convicting to read Mrs. Brenneman's words:

"While cleaning is an important task we should approach with focus and vigor, it can become an obsession that is destructive to our families. Clean is not the only goal of the home keeper. The home keeper also wants her family to live with love, comfort and happiness. These are intangibles that have more to do with atmosphere and attitude. The pulse of your children's hearts are more important than excess dirt on the floor. While you need to conquer the dirt monster, don't do it at the expense of your children. Demonstrate to your family that you care more about hem personally than you do about keeping the house in perfect order all of the time. And show them its because you care about them that you want to keep a tidy home."

So may that encourage us today. Tomorrow we'll focus on evening routines.

When a Day's Work Is Never Done

Last week, I got behind in the house. We had a few rough days around here, and those days almost always leave me feeling discouraged. When I'm discouraged, I lose the pep in my step, and the house slides downhill too.

Take laundry, for instance. I had no problem doing it--running it through the washer and dryer. But then it sat, piled high in laundry baskets (either folded or laid flat so it doesn't wrinkle) for days.

Same thing with dishes. If I felt too drained from the day with multiple squabbles among children and behavior issues, I couldn't bring myself to wash all the dishes after dinner, dry them, and put them away. So if I went to bed with dishes in the sink, I awoke already behind for the new day.

After reflecting on why I got behind and how I could catch up, I came to realize it boiled down to this:
I wasn't finishing a day's work.

So before I started any laundry today, I took time this morning--with the kids' help--to put the laundry in baskets away. I actually didn't do any new laundry today. It can wait until tomorrow, because the second realization is:

Make your day's work realistic.

Maybe washing, drying, folding and putting away five loads of laundry in a day is too much for me right now at this stage of my life. But I can do one load (or two). If you are finding yourself getting behind, too, then maybe you are trying to do too much each day. Focus on a few things and do them well.

The other tip that helps me immensely (when I actually do it) is to sit down and plan out my day's work the night before. Even if I don't follow the schedule exactly, I still accomplish much more than if I only had a rough idea in my mind of what I wanted to do the next day. With the no-schedule approach, we all have lots of down-time where no one really knows what we should be doing. We wander around semi-aimlessly, and the boys seem to get into more fights with more free time.

A reasonable, manageable plan for the day can help so much to keep us productive and on track. Because we're not doing more (or less) than we're capable of, it is much easier to reach day's end and feel like our work for that day has been finished.

Black Friday: Yay or Nay?

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

I'm still in my robe at home this morning, and I love feeling relaxed rather than frantic. While I am drinking coffee, my husband and I are shopping a few of the Black Friday deals--right in our living room, on our computers. Did you know you don't need to get in line at the wee hours of the morning to snag a great deal? You can get the same deals online. Sure, a few things are out of stock, but I was able to find the LEGO Ultimate Building Set I wanted from Walmart for $15 at Amazon.com.  The Crayon Maker is out of stock at my local store, but Walmart.com will ship it to my house for a mere .97 cents! No waiting in line, no frazzled rush to find it and snag one, just a peaceful easy feeling, to quote an Eagles' line.

After today's shopping, we're pretty much done. I wrote extensively last Christmas about not getting caught up in the commercialism of it all and the frenzy toward the big day to buy more and more. While we don't follow it exactly, I love the idea behind the 3-present rule: a "gold" gift (a bigger item), a "frankincense" gift (a gift that matches the child's interests), and a myrrh gift (something that helps them grow in their spiritual life). Sure, I still need to purchase a few gifts for extended family and make a few gifts, but overall, I want to remain intentional about enjoying a peaceful Christmas season and letting the peace of Christ dwell in my heart richly (Philippians 4:7).

By the way, my favorite find was an Iron Man costume for $3 at Target.com! My boys' love to dress up as super heroes, and if yours do too, I encourage you to check the costumes Target still has available online only.

Do you shop Black Friday--in-store or online? If so, what was your best find of the day? What steps do you think we can take to remain intentional about not getting caught up in a buying frenzy this year, and celebrate instead time with family, making special memories, and focusing on the true meaning of Christmas?

Shed 10 a Day, the Easy Way

(With the holidays here, I hope you weren't thinking I was offering tips on how to lose 10 pounds a day...I just hope I don't gain 10 pounds a day!)

It's Messy Monday and we're focusing on a real easy way to get things under control in our homes.

My husband and I went on a date this weekend to celebrate our eighth anniversary. Although we were both sick, we managed to have a nice time. But going out on a date without kids means a babysitter comes in, and that means a major cleaning overhaul happens first.

I am continually amazed at how letting a few things slide here and there creates a whole mountain of work later when it's time to put everything away. Now that most surfaces are fairly clear, the easiest way to maintain that lack of clutter is not allow it to begin. That takes a certain level of discipline, but it's worth it. One item looks so much more out of place when it's the only item there; however, a group of items beckons to more.

One thing I've been doing lately to clear clutter is to get rid of at least ten things a day. At first, it won't make much of a dent in anything, but slowly, steadily, we're reducing the inventory in our home. And that does make a tangible difference through time. It could be as simple as throwing away unnecessary papers, worn-out clothing, yucky food from the frig, broken crayons the kids scatter from room to room, etc.

Perhaps you don't need to get rid of a single thing, but there are out of place items that can be transported to their correct locations. I know my dresser holds at least five stray things right now (my son's sunglasses, a couple pens, some socks, a Spiderman band-aid...strange assortment, I know).

Make it a goal to find at least ten things a day to move--either to a new, neater place, or out to the trash if it's not reusable by someone else.

You'll feel ten pounds lighter, and that's always a good feeling, especially this time of year!

Messy Monday: Implement a Routine

Awhile back, when I was really struggling with figuring out a workable plan to help my manage my home and family (not that I'm through that stage yet!), I came across a great tip on the former website Biblical Womanhood to plan a morning routine. Implementing that idea greatly helped to curb some of the chaos, or at the very least, to direct it, thereby making it feel more manageable.

Here's how it worked:

Every morning, think of three to five things that absolutely have to be done and list how you'll do them--in order.
While you can change your tasks daily, I have found it most helpful to allow these three to five items to remain consistent each day. That way, you don't have to think about them (after all, there's already enough to think about!); you just do them.

So for me, my routine morning items were:

• Make breakfast
• Clean up breakfast (table, dishes, sweep floor)
• Have the kids get dressed if not already and make beds, brush teeth, comb hair
• Throw in a load of laundry

I can't tell you how much it helped me to having this guiding direction. It helped me focus when things felt like they were spinning out of control, like when I discovered the boys dumped an entire bottle of Softsoap on the bathroom floor and were pouring water on it to "clean it up," since it kept sudsing as they tried to wipe it up. Tend to those unexpected interruptions, and then get back to the routine.

As it became more comfortable and routine, I added onto it a bit. Now, after laundry, on a good day, the boys will help with chores. On a bad day, they watch a PBS cartoon while I do a chore.

At 9AM, I aim to have our morning routine jobs completed and we head to the living room for Bible time. We listen to a fun Scripture memory song (my kids love this CD--20 Bible Verses Every Child Should Know), read the corresponding story, read a chapter in the Bible, go over AWANA verses, and then get on with our kindergarten lesson plans (usually my younger two head off to play).

Around 10:30, we take a break for a snack and some free time, and then I finish whatever else we need to work on, and we're usually done by lunch time. Although I didn't start out with scheduling times for my morning routine, as it has become more ingrained, I find the times naturally fall into place, give or take a few minutes.

If scheduling your day according to the clock seems to overwhelming, structured or rigid for you right now, I encourage you to try easing into a daily routine, starting with simply three to five things you can do this very morning.

You can read more, and see an old picture routine chart I made for the kids, here.