Wednesday, September 16, 2009

His Wife? Or His Girlfriend?

Probably raised a few eyebrows at that one, hugh?! As I have mentioned before, I'm a Dr. Laura listener (don't always agree with everything she says, but do enjoy her show when I can listen). One thing she is big on is BEING YOUR HUSBAND'S GIRLFRIEND (does that clarify the post title now?). In fact, she's so big on it, she's written a whole book about it.

A strong, vibrant marriage colors all of life more positively and is certainly a special one of God's mercies. A close marriage even helps our parenting, because we feel tightly connected with our closest support person. The business of maintaining a home and raising children can start to feel like, well, just that--a business. When it does, the wind sails out of that sweet thing called love and our marriage suffers. Sure there's business to discuss with our husbands, but let's not lose sight of the fact that we were their girlfriends first. We were their girlfriends when they fell in love with us; we were their girlfriends when they proposed to us; and now that we are their wives (even better), we should strive to always find ways to remind our men of why they wanted to capture us as their girl.

So what are some practical ways we can show our husbands we're still their girlfriends?
  •  Call him at work (if it's ok) not to tell him about things at the house or with the kids, but just to flirt/say hi/tell him what you love about him 
  • Dress nicely when he gets home so that he knows you made an effort to look good just for him (this usually means "non-around-the-house" clothes, hair done, some makeup on, maybe perfume; but if you don't wear makeup or perfume, just do what you can to send him the message that you still want him to remember everyday why he thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world and wanted desperately to marry you. (A clean shirt is usually a good place to start!)
  • Write him little notes and/or occassionally pick up small trinkets (as your budget allows) as a special treat
  • Pamper him. My husband said he really appreciates the times when he gets home from work and I say, "Honey, why don't you just take a break and do something fun for yourself for awhile?" (only a non-bitter tone will be effective here!).
  • (The husband's perspective): Initiate (you can email me if you need clarification) 
  • Make sure you take time to visit each day. This can be sharing a cup of coffee together or wine at night (water/tea/hot chocolate/juice would also be acceptable alternatives) :) or lay in bed talking at day's end (this could tie in nicely with the previous suggestion)
  • And I would be remiss if I did not add the most important way to be the best girlfriend to your husband: a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and time spent soaking up God's Word will make your spirit and countenance sweet to your husband's soul
That's my list for now. What are some of your ideas on ways we can show our husbands that we're still their girlfriends?

Tomorrow I will post on how to romance your spouse without spending a dime--how to have a successful date night without leaving the house or farming out the kids. 'Til next time! Now, as Dr. Laura would say--"Go make your marriage delicious!"
(This post is linked to Works for Me Wednesday)


  1. My husband really likes it when I go to watch his soccer games. I'm usually the only wife there supporting, and I know it makes him feel special.

  2. Wow! Love this post. What a great perspective.