Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Resolution No One Really Ever Makes

Coffee Talk Thursday

Well sorry, Coffee Talk Thursday has fallen by the wayside for the last few weeks, but it's here today, so let's have a cup of coffee and some girl talk!

We can make many resolutions for the new year: getting more organized, exercising more, eating healthier, and on and on. But who really ever resolves to improve one particular (very personal--you might say intimate) aspect of marriage?

If you listen to Focus on the Family, you may have caught this broadcast. It's called "Removing Excuses from the Bedroom" and it's a two-part series. I heartily recommend it. If you didn't hear it, once your kids are down for a nap, maybe you can pull it up on your computer while folding laundry or something like that and listen then.

Not only can we work to improve that aspect of our marriage, we can also strive to take little steps to better our marriage every day in little ways--starting with simply doing things that convey how much we love the man we married. Even if you're struggling with finding that "loving feeling", feelings follow actions. So acting in loving ways will often make you feel more loving toward your husband.

If you watched the movie Fireproof, the actors referenced a 40-day Love Dare book. There really is such a book. It includes small actions you can do each day to be intentional about your most important relationship (other than your relationship with Jesus). It also features a few counseling-type paragraphs about how that day's action can help your marriage.

Last year, if you signed up at their site, Family Life sent emails containing each day's love dare. You can go here to sign up. Or you can think of your own little something to do each day, aside from the normal things you already do, to send an "I love you" message to your spouse in the love language he understands.

Now go have a hot cup of coffee with the person that matters to you most!

(Back to finishing up the Feeding Children series after this!)


  1. LOVE IT! Marriage is so important! Great post!

  2. okay, now I actually listened to the whole thing, and I want to say Thank you! That came at a great time, and i thought it was great when she said God told her to go and have....because That same thing has happened to me! The difference is I didnt! But I know that it was Him telling me. Next time I am going to listen, and not give in to all my complaints.

  3. Thanks Liz! Glad it spoke to you :)

  4. I actually have been praying about this a lot. And appreciate any prayers you could send my way. I work a high-stress job, 11p-7a, 5-6 days a week, with a 9 month old son. Needless to say, sleep is a top priority, and the OTHER is not typically on my mind. But I want to be the wife my husband needs and God has called me to be. I look forward to listening to the link. God bless and thanks for your encouraging posts on this matter. I pray God blesses you for your boldness. :)

  5. I haven't had time to listen to the broadcast, but will try. It reminds me of a really good blog series a few months back. I need to find the link or give you the articles, because they were really good! This is such an important part of marriage and not one people want to discuss on the blogosphere. C

    heryl, you and Justin would make such a great addition to the discussion we have in the marriage Sunday School class at 9am each week. I know it's early but the kids have a great time in SS and we have some really good laughs ...and tears. Think about it.

  6. Hi Victoria,
    Yes, I will be praying for you. My heart goes out to you. No doubt you are very tired. I know this sounds cliched, but I am wondering if you could cut back to part-time on your work (maybe work only 3-4 days instead of 5-6)? Please feel free to email me at, and I will try to help you with other ideas if I can.

    Hi Jodi! I would love to read the links if you can find them. We did talk about SS a while back. We'll revisit it. It's not too late to join in, is it??

  7. its never too late. Nolan and I go when we can for other studies, and I want to go to the marriage class too, so we might start back on Sunday. It's hard with kids, and I think they are all very understanding. Talk about it, and I am going to talk to Nolan about going again, now that life is calming down again.