Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The OBGYN Visit (Complete with Kids)

(this is not me) :)
Generally, I don't mind not having a cell phone. Yet, the other day, I found myself desperately wishing I could make just one S.O.S call.

Two days ago, I had my first OB visit for this pregnancy. I thought we were going to hear the baby's heartbeat, and a few weeks ago, I remember talking to my husband about this and letting him know it would be nice if he could join us for this visit. In classic his-her miscommunication, I--from then on--assumed he was coming with me to the appointment.

The morning of the appointment, I reminded him of the time and asked him if he wanted me to call him beforehand (so he wouldn't forget). He said, "No, that's ok. Hey, Are you taking the kids with you?" I thought that was strange, since of course, he was coming with us, too, and therefore, what else would I do with the kids?  Suffice it to say, I was sure he was coming. He knew he wasn't.

At the doctor's office, after the initial weigh-in, blood pressure check, and visit with the doctor in her office (while two of my boys were crawling on the floor like Army soldiers in a dug-out and then looking curiously at the knick-knacks on her shelf), she informed me that today they would be doing the annual Pap and breast exam. This is when I wanted to make the desperate SOS call to my husband. What would I do with the boys?

Fortunately, the exam room has a small bench in the corner with a curtain one can pull, which drapes from the ceiling to the floor. I told the boys they were going to get to play a really fun hiding game in a secret cave, and that they had to stay in there. This was definitely a mom's in need of mercy situation, and thankfully, for the most part, they did stay behind the curtain.


At one point, the boys removed the water bottle in my purse to take a drink. It was holding a full quart of water. I say "was," because as soon as they were done drinking, the bottle--uncapped--spilled all over the floor. I didn't notice until the doctor came in, because I was sitting on the exam table, wearing the wonderful gown with a sheet wrapped around my waist, thinking over and over again, "Please hurry, please hurry, please hurry."  (Those waits can take forever, which is never a good thing when three little boys are in the room, trying to stay excited about hiding behind the curtain. What if they got bored right at the time of the Pap?). 

So the doctor finally came in and said, "Oh, there's a lot of water on the floor." She proceeded to get surgical cloths to wipe it up, since she said they hold a lot of water. I did what I could to hand paper towels to the boys under the curtain. I told her we'd be sure to get the rest before we left. She smiled and said, "I bet Daddy's going to be in trouble later."  

Also on the bench is a little basket containing feminine products. I'm not sure why boys--little boys--are so fascinated with tampons. I think they think it's like a rocket: push the applicator and out it launches. So my youngest was ejecting tampons for take-off. But again, there wasn't much I could do except tell my other boys to please stop him from doing that.

Well, we survived. I got dressed. One boy happened to peek out of the curtain right as I was getting dressed. I tried to do a quick turn and cover and told him to stay behind the curtain. Luckily, he did as he was told.

At home, I asked my husband why he forgot about the appointment. He cleared up the miscommunication by saying, "I knew you had it. I just didn't know you wanted me to be there." I said, "Well, I only had to have a Pap smear and a breast exam...with the boys in the room."

He brought me cookies as a peace offering.

Next time, we'll hear the baby's heart beat, and I'll be sure my husband comes with us.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, I guess.


  1. Poor thing! You deserved every last crumb of those cookies!

    I only had that experience once - I had dropped off one child at an activity, taken the second with me to have the check-up for the yet unborn third. All that I could think of was..."So, this is the start of juggling THREE children!"

    (A nurse helped me out by taking #2 into a different room to color:)

  2. Seriously, must start asking friends for help with the boys. I bet there are several ladies that would have been MORE than willing to watch them so you could enjoy your (ahem) breast exam and pap in private. Call me, please, and the boys can play with the non-feminine kind of rockets with my son!! ha ha

    I am serious. You better take me or someone else up on this offer. :)

  3. Oh my goodness, I'll bet the dr's and nurses had a little chuckle after that visit! At least I hope they were chuckling! That whole scenario could have gone Soooooo wrong! Mothers of sons are smiling with you all over the place this morning!

  4. I don't have 3 small boys, but I've been there, in my own way.

    I had my 15 month old with me and gave her my cell phone to occupy her. BIG mistake. She called my Dad with speed dial, during the exam--but I didn't know it until after.

    You definitely deserved the cookies AND some flowers, I say. :-) So happy to hear everything is going well and that Hubby WILL be at the next appointment. :-)

  5. This was great! And just another shining example of the way us moms have to multitask and be creative in a tough spot!

  6. Thanks, Jodi, for the offer. I seriously would have taken you up on it if I knew what lay ahead of me that day :) I thought it was going to be a very basic visit. Boy was I in for a surprise :)
    Next time!

  7. Oh, My!! At least there was a curtain in the room. You deserve WAY more than cookies!

  8. Yeah, at least there was a curtain. At my OB's office, there aren't curtains!

  9. Oh boy! This sounds so familiar to me :) I also have three boys under five and when I was pregnant with my youngest I had to tote my older two sons to each and every OB appointment! My Dr's exam rooms do not have curtains, so I just had to plant my kids each in a chair at the head of the exam table and pray they stayed put! (Which thankfully, they did)