Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Never-Ending Learning Curve of Motherhood

Coffee Talk Thursday

Can anyone of us truly say we feel completely confident in what we’re doing as mothers 100% of the time? I sure can’t. I am very introspective, almost always trying to improve myself in a myriad of areas, and I tend to second-guess myself internally just about all day long (well, maybe that’s a bit exaggerated…). From sunrise to sunset, I wonder if I’m doing things right.
If we had careers prior to motherhood, there was a learning curve to our jobs. I worked in broadcast news, first as a reporter, and then as an anchor. Once I got the learning curve down, I did a pretty good job. I’m sure we can all say that, since we handpicked our careers based on our natural giftedness and what we enjoy. With motherhood, however, the learning curve never ends. That’s part of the reason it truly is the hardest job in the world—because you can never fully master it.

Is it possible to find the place where the second-guessing doesn’t exist anymore—where motherhood becomes almost easy? Or are we mistaken to expect that from our journeys? Is motherhood naturally going to be a bit bumpy at times as we figure out the kinks of each stage (and there’s always a new stage just when you get the last one somewhat figured out)? Maybe we need to stop searching for the magic pot of gold at the end of the rainbow where we get our “ah-ha” moment and feel like we’ve finally found all the answers--the perfect way to go about each day—where we never wonder if we’re doing everything right anymore. Maybe we just need to stop striving so hard and realize that, in addition to all the joys of motherhood, we just need a good helping of endurance. Every single day.

“This disappointment, confusion, sense of inadequacy is surprising. Mothering isn’t supposed to be this way!...Only a few months into mothering, we face the disappointment of the gap between our expectations and the rock-hard reality of being on duty twenty-four hours a day, engaged in some of the most unseemly aspects of life. Yes, of course, there are wonderful, tender moments…And there are also shocking, unexpected days and weeks, when we quickly come to the end of who we are and what we know and we wonder how we’re going to make it through the next twenty years…or twenty minutes.” – What Every Mom Needs, Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall
"Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised."—Hebrews 10:35, 36

And what is the will of God for us as mothers? Titus 2 tells us “to love [our] husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to [our] own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” (ESV)

I hope that this encourages you, as it did me when I reflected on all this. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect. He gives us the grace each day to do the best job we can in the homes He’s given us. He knows everything about each of us and handpicked us to mother the children He’s given us. Just do the very best you can do today, and pray for confidence to go about your day without second-guessing yourself and your decisions.

“…To accept his lot and be happy in his work—this is a gift from God” (Ecc. 6:19b).

This brings me to a giveaway announcement! Tomorrow I'm participating in a blog tour and have a copy to give away of It's A Wonderful Imperfect Life: Daily Encouragement for Women Who Strive Too Hard to Make It Just Right. Hope to see you then!

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the post.

    I just posted this article on my blog. It was a very timely reminder for me in the midst of feeling overwhelmed with the day.

    Or if the link doesn't work, just check my blog :).